


Wayward Son

by violettestars



Series: The Ties That Bind [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Canon, Alternate Season/Series 03, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Case Fic, Complete, Drama, Explicit Language, F/M, Fingering, First Time, Heterosexual Sex, Oral Sex, POV First Person, Rough Sex, Sexual Content, Smut, Underage Drinking, Underage Sex, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-07
Updated: 2014-02-24
Packaged: 2018-01-07 19:33:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 56,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1123574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/violettestars/pseuds/violettestars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two brothers, one destiny or so they thought. Choices are made taking the brothers on different paths. One wants a normal life and the other wants to continue in the family business. It didn't seem to mean much at the time. At first, it was just little arguments here and there between Dean and Sam. Dean thought it was no big deal. He thought in time Sam would realize that Dean had to protect Lexi.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this way back in 2008 for spn j2 big bang. The art work was made for me by Bandwench.

[ ](http://s5.photobucket.com/user/violetstars1039/media/big%20bang%20art/wwsbanner.jpg.html)

**Chapter 1:**

**April 17, 2008**

**Dean's POV**

“ _ **Masquerading as a man with a reason. My charade is the event of the season. And if I claim to be a wise man, well it surely means that I don't know.**_ _ **”**_

Everything is a blur to me now. Days and nights bleed into each other as I move from town to town following what feels like a cold dead end trail. I don’t even know how it got to this point. I lost everything: my wife, my son, and my brother, everything that ever meant a damn to me. My life did a 180 with just two words spoken eleven months ago. I wasn’t expecting it; hell it threw me for one hell of a loop. After the initial shock wore off, I was happy, yeah that’s right, I was happy. I was living that apple pie life that I thought I would never have and I thought I didn’t even want until it fell into my lap. I was a civilian working nine to five as a mechanic. I mowed the lawn every Saturday and every spare moment was spent with Lexi and Jacob.

The first time I held Jake, I finally understood why my father did the things he did. I never thought I could love someone as much as I loved my son. It killed me a little more each day knowing my time was running out, knowing I would never hear him call me “Dad” and that I wouldn’t live to see him take his first steps. I was gonna miss out on everything. Maybe I’m selfish for having a kid now but Jake’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me aside from Lexi. At least I can leave one good thing behind before my payment becomes due. Now, I’m alone. Lexi and Jake are gone. Sam, well, Sam’s not the Sam I know anymore. I have no one to blame but myself. The only thing I have left is my revenge and now I’m at a crossroads having to choose which way to go.

**11 months ago**

**May 3, 2007**

**The Broadway Diner**

I watched Lexi fidget across from me in the cracked vinyl purple booth. I could tell she was nervous; she was unusually quiet chewing on her bottom lip looking everywhere but at me. At the moment, I wished I had that nifty Jedi mind trick that she had so I could know what was going on in her head. I had an idea but I kept reminding myself that demons lie. I glanced around the crowded diner, my stomach tightened and twisted into knots with the realization that the yellow-eyed demon could have very well been telling the truth. After all, Lexi was the one that suggested we come here _without Sam_ when we all should be celebrating the fact that I just wasted the bastard that killed both our mothers.

“So Lex, you wanted to talk?”

She finally looked at me, her green eyes locked on mine as her fingers twisted the leather string holding the protection charm that I gave her so long ago, “Yeah…..”

“Well, what is it? You’re not leaving me again are you?” I laughed nervously.

Lexi shook her head no dropping her gaze, and speaking so softly I had to strain to hear her, “I’m pregnant.”

My mouth suddenly went dry, the contents of my stomach lurching up into my throat, her words echoing through my head. I grabbed the glass of ice water that was sitting on the table and drained the entire cup before speaking. “Wh-what….did you just say? Did you say you’re pregnant?”

“Yeah Dean, I’m pregnant.”

I didn’t know what to say or think. I never thought I would hear those words uttered to me. I rubbed my forehead trying to clear all the noise out of my brain. I couldn’t think straight, there was all this confusion inside my head and I couldn’t help wondering, ‘Why now?’

I looked across the table at Lexi, her nervousness now replaced with what looked like fear and disappointment. For the first time in my life I was at a loss for words, I didn’t know what to say. I let out a shaky breath while rubbing the back of my neck, “Wow…..how um….how far are you?”

“Almost three months I think.”

Sighing, I buried my head in my hands. This couldn’t be happening. It just couldn’t. Not now, not when I only have a year to live. And now, now I have to tell Lexi that I’m not going to be around for our kid. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” I mumbled weakly from behind my hands.

“I just found out a few days ago. I was waiting for the right time to tell you. I was going to tell you once Sam went to bed the night that he and I disappeared from the diner but then with everything that happened afterwards……” she trailed off biting her lower lip.

“You should’ve told me sooner.” I snapped slamming my hand on the table, “Then maybe I…..”

“Dean, what? You would’ve what?”

“It’s not important.” I whispered flashing her my best smile, “Now, where the hell are we going to put a car seat in the Impala?”

“Dean,” she laughed shakily, “does this mean you’re okay with all of this? I mean you’re not exactly the warm and fuzzy Daddy type.”

I reached across the table taking both of Lexi’s hands in mine squeezing them gently, “Yeah, I’m scared shitless, but I’m okay with it.”

**Satellite Motel**

**An Hour Later**

“You okay, Lex?” I asked throwing my coat and car keys on the silver couch of the outer space themed room, “You look a little……green.”

She forced a small smile at me nodding yes before lying down on the bed. The way her light brown hair fanned out over the green and silver comforter suddenly reminded me of the night of our first date. I smirked slightly as I joined her on the bed, snaking my arms around her and pulling her against me. It was no accident that I rested my hands on her stomach. “You’re not gonna pass out on me are you?”

Lexi leaned back into me her voice soft when she spoke, “No,Dean. You’re really okay with all of this?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

She shifted in my arms so that she was now facing me. Her eyes looked doubtful and I could practically see the thoughts that were now running through her head. “Really? You’re not just saying that? Dean, it’s okay if you’re not. I don’t expect anything from you.”

“Hey, I wasn’t expecting you to tell me I knocked you up but I’m not going anywhere. Lex, I’m not walking away from you or our kid. I swear, so get that outta your head right now. I know I don’t say it enough but I love you and I…..I want you to have the baby, okay?”

“Okay.” She said softly burying her face in the crook of my arm, “I love you too, Dean.”

I rolled us over so I was now on top of her kissing down her throat to her stomach, waiting to hear Lexi’s little moans of approval. Instead of the soft moans that I loved to hear she was telling me to stop. I lifted my head up confused, “What? We can’t have sex now that you’re knocked up?”

Lexi laughed slightly shaking her head, “No, Dean, of course we can. I just don’t feel that good is all.”

“Oh. Well I know how I can make you feel good.” I smirked at her making my way back up so I could kiss her mouth again.

She pulled away bringing her hand up to my face and trailed her fingers down my cheek, “I bet you do.”

I traced her curves leisurely with my fingertips resting them on her hips while I bent down to kiss her again, “I’ll take it slow, Lex.”

**Later that night**

I opened my eyes, my hand immediately grasping the handle of my knife that lay under my pillow at the sound of heavy footsteps just outside the door. I listened carefully when the motel door opened, not moving an inch but ready if need be.

“God damn it now the room smells like fucking sex.” Sam grumbled as he made his way inside the room tripping over various articles of mine and Lexi’s clothing, “Why can’t they fuck somewhere else?”

“Why Sammy…you jealous?” I questioned him sitting up and turning on the oddly-shaped lamp beside my bed.

Sam spun around at the sound of my voice, loosing his balance and crashing to the floor with a thud, “Of what? Your five inch dick and your Buffy clone?”

“Five inches? Yeah right, try nine.”

“You know every time the subject of your dick comes up you add another inch.” Sam huffed before kicking off his shoes and sitting on the adjacent bed, “I’ve seen it, not all it's cracked up to be Dean.”

“Never had any complaints, man.”

“That's because they were all drunk and loose.” Sam snapped while undressing and shooting me the stink eye for good measure.

I couldn’t stop the grin that was pulling at the corners of my mouth. It had become an automatic reflex. Sammy drunk…..priceless. “Sammy, are you drunk?”

“YEAH AND?”

“Sammy.” I stated swinging my legs out of the bed when my boxers hit me with full force to the back of my head.

“DUDE I DON’T WANNA SEE YOUR JUNK! PUT YOUR GOD DAMN BOXERS ON.”

“Shhhh, Sammy, be quiet you’re gonna wake her up.” I whispered pulling my boxers on before making my way over to Sam’s bed. I stood in front of Sam begging him silently with my eyes which of course only made him get louder.

“Oh heaven FORBID I WAKE THE FUCKING PRINCESS!!!!!! I OUGHTA PUKE ALL OVER YOUR ASS FOR ALL THE TIMES YOU TWO HAVE KEPT ME UP!!!”

“Shut up.” I snapped sitting next to my annoying and very drunk little brother, “I need to talk to you…..”

“About?”

“You’re gonna be an Uncle.”

“That's great Dean.” He answered sarcastically flopping back onto the bed, “Really great!”

“Didn’t you hear me, Sam?” I asked poking his side continually, “Lexi’s knocked up.”

“Yeah I heard you. And being the idiot you are, you were dumb enough to not use a condom. I’m surprised that you didn’t give her an STD to boot!”

“SAMMY!” I huffed unbelievingly. He was not supposed to be the prick in this twosome, that was my job, “I’m scared shitless and you’re cracking jokes?”

“Well you should've thought of that before you dove in head fucking first! Literatelly!” He snapped rolling onto his side, his back facing me.

“Sammy…..”

“Leave me alone Dean. You've been perfectly capable of doing that lately. Just leave me the fuck alone.”

“I always took care of you and the onetime that I need you, and you’re a total dick about it.”

“One time? Try more like thousandths!” Sam hissed, sitting up and glaring at me, “I left my whole damn life behind for you! You figure this one out yourself!”

“Yeah and I gave up my life for you. I got a fucking year to live so that you could have a life. I hope you’re at least there for my kid when I’m dead and buried.”

“Nobody TOLD you to go be a fucking idiot!” He shook his head his infamous bitch-face firmly in place before lying down and continuing, “You’re just that damn selfish!”

I felt my blood begin to boil at the thought of what I would never have and what I was going to miss out on. It wasn’t fair, I sacrificed everything my entire life. I wasn’t allowed to finish high school or go to college like Sammy did. For some reason, my father thought I would be the better solider and I was for the majority of my life.

I felt my eyes begin to burn and water when I realized that I was really going to miss out on raising my kid. I wasn’t gonna be there to hear his or her first words and I wasn’t going to be that parent telling their kid that it was going to be okay on the first day of school. I was going to be dead and buried……nothing but a rotting corpse. Sam though, he was going to be able to do all those things with his kids, but not me.

“Go find yourself a girl Sam and get married….have a bunch of kids. You watch them grow up while I rot in the ground and my kid doesn’t have his father around. Have a nice life Sam. Go be normal. I never got to have a life Sammy. I never had friends. I didn’t get to do anything. I always had to take care of you; it was my job, my life. I never wanted this Sam, any of it. I get six months with my kid and that’s it. They won’t even remember me. You know what that’s like Sammy you don’t remember mom.”

“Are you crying?????”

“No, I’m not a pansy ass like you.” I snapped rubbing my eyes with the back of my hand, “You can’t tell her Sammy. You can’t tell her I only have a year.”

I bitterly wiped the tears away with the back of my hand and climbed back into bed with Lexi. I pulled her close to me, burying my face in her hair and all I could think about was how I was going to tell her I fucked everything up again. I knew I couldn’t tell her now. She could very well just get up and take off like she did before. Hell, that’s what I would do, if that was an option for me. But, I want to spend the last year of my life with her and do the right thing for once. Maybe Sam’s right, maybe there is a way out of this deal for me. I’m not going to get my hopes up though, I made my bed and now I have to lie in it.

**4 A.M.**

The soft click of the motel door woke me up immediately; it might as well have been the bang of a shotgun being fired. I sat up pulling on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt before heading outside to see why the hell Lexi would be up and about at four a.m. I found her sitting on the curb in my plaid flannel shirt, her legs crossed Indian style and her head in her hands. “What are you doing?” I asked sitting next to her on the cold concrete.

She jumped suddenly her eyes wide, “You scared me. I thought you were asleep.”

“Yeah, well, funny so did I.”

 “Couldn’t sleep.” She whispered studying her hands intently, “Long day and all that.”

I slipped my arm around her waist, pulling her against me and knowing full well she was holding something back, “We always have long days, Lex. What’s wrong?”

 “Yeah well you almost died, I was knocked unconscious, I saw Sam murder someone and you killed the demon that killed both of our moms. Yeah, so ya know, sleep’s not that easy.”

“That guy had it coming to him.”

“Yeah.” Lexi said softly shifting uncomfortably and running her hands through her hair, “I don’t know if I can do this……”

“Do what?”

She glanced at me before dropping her gaze to her hands, then stated quietly, “I’m too young, I’m not…..I’m not ready for this.”

“You’re knocked up…..we're having a kid…….there's no going back on that.”

“I’m twenty three years old. I’m not ready to be someone’s mom, Dean.”

 “You think I’m ready to be someone’s father?” I asked her gently as I rubbed her side, “I’m twenty eight and I wasn't ever planning on having a kid.”

“Yeah, but you’re older. Five years is a big difference. Well technically four years, eleven months and three weeks older. You got to live your life and I haven’t even finished medical school. You’re gonna give me what a year, Dean? Maybe two, if I’m lucky, before you take off on me.”

“Bullshit! You know what? You don't wanna be with me, you don't wanna have this baby fine! Just get the hell out of here and I’ll pretend you never existed! Get the fuck out if you want out! Don’t pin this shit on me and try to use me as an out!”

Lexi arched her eyebrow her voice filled with doubt, “You’re telling me that you’re not gonna ditch me?”

“That’s exactly what I’m telling you. I’m not gonna abandon my kid!”

“You’re gonna actually be able to NOT stick your dick in anything that moves?”

“I’m not fucking leaving! I dunno what the hell else you want from me.” I protested my face turning red as I carefully avoided her question.

“Well you didn’t leave last time either, you just fucked around behind my back.”

“Fine Lexi. You wanna believe I’m going to cheat on you again go ahead. You’re not gonna believe anything I say anyways.”

“You can’t even say it! All you do is bark orders!”

“That’s because you never fucking listen!”

“Neither do you!”

“I can't take it back. I can't undo what I did to you back then.”

“No ‘Sorry I ripped your heart out?’ No ‘Sorry I lied to you?’”

“I’ve said all of that a thousand times!” I said frustrated. I felt like we were having the same argument over and over again. “What? You wanna hear it again? I’m sorry I messed up. I’m sorry I fucked you over. I’m sorry Lexi. I'M SORRY!”

“You really hurt me, Dean. You swore you would never hurt me and you did. And now…..I dunno what to do.”

“Yeah well, I fucked up deal with it.”

“I’m not Sam!” she snapped shaking her head and glaring at me, “Can’t you even act like you care?”

“This is me caring. We’re gonna do this.”

“Part of me wants to trust you and the other part’s telling me to just go.” She whispered hanging her head so her long hair hid her face.

I pulled her firmly against me, my free hand reaching up to move her hair off of her cheek while I whispered in her ear, “Go with the part that trusts me.”

“It’s not that easy for me anymore……especially now. I don’t wanna do this alone.”

“You’re not going to, I’m here.” I stated giving her a slight squeeze, “We’ll be alright.”

“I do want the baby. I’m just….I’m just…..”

“Scared? It’s okay for you to be scared. I am too.” Lexi buried her face against my neck, her tears soaking my t-shirt, “We'll be fine.”

“Don’t leave me.”

“I’m not, I’m right here alright? I ain't going anywhere.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.” I said nodding my head and slipping my arms tightly around Lexi in an attempt to comfort her, “It’s gonna be okay. I’m gonna take care of you.”

Lexi stared at me for a moment before running her fingers slowly down my cheek, “You sure you’re okay with this?”

“I’m sure.”

I stood up, grabbing her hand as I pulled her to her feet and then led her back into our room. “Come on. You need to sleep. You have to start taking better care of yourself you know. We need to get you some of those vitamin things.”

“How do you know about all that?” she questioned climbing into bed as I got undressed before getting in next to her.

“Thought it was common knowledge.”

 “Oh I just didn’t think you....”

“I know stuff.”

“What would I do without you?” Lexi asked resting her head on my chest while tracing her name that was tattooed on my chest.

“I dunno.” I stated simply wrapping my arms around her, “It’s late baby, get some sleep.”

**May 4, 2007**

**Satellite Motel**

**8 A.M.**

“Rise and shine, Sammy!” I yelled in Sam’s ear very pleased with myself when he crashed to the floor.

“What the hell Dean?” He groaned looking up at me with anger twisting his features which made me grin even more, “You’re a jerk.”

“Bitch.”

Sam climbed back into his bed pulling the green and silver comforter up to his chin still glaring at me, “Why the hell are you up so early anyway?”

“I’m taking Lex to the doctor.” I said simply buttoning up my favorite denim shirt, “We won’t be gone long.”

“Why are you taking her to the doctor?”

“How drunk were you last night, Sammy?” I asked in disbelief, “I told you she’s knocked up. Just going to make sure everything’s okay.”

“WHAT?”

I turned back to look at Sam before closing the motel room door, “Don’t worry Sammy, I’ll bring you back a nice greasy egg and pork sandwich smothered in gravy.”

“I hate you!”

I smirked laughing as I left the room, “I know you do.”

**Riverview Medical Center**

I was so nervous, it was ridiculous. I felt like I was going to crawl right out of my skin. It was just a blood test to confirm the home pregnancy test that Lexi already took but I was still antsy. I paced the length of the examine room not able to stand still. I wanted to know if this was really happening. It didn’t completely hit home last night when Lex told me she was pregnant……but this……this made it all very real.

“Dean, please stop pacing.”

“I can’t help it, okay.” I said walking back to the examine table she was sitting on, “This is BIG.”

“I know it is…..”

Whatever else she was about to say was lost as the doctor walked back into the room. Lexi reached for my hand, interlacing her fingers with mine. I looked down at her, giving her an encouraging smile and squeezed her hand before we both turned our attention to the woman in the white lab coat anxiously waiting for her to speak.

“Well, the test results are back.”

“AND?” We both said in unison as Lexi squeezed my hand so tightly it hurt.

“Congratulations are in order…..you’re pregnant.”

I thought I was going to freak out when we got the test results back but I didn’t. I smiled. I felt my face break into a huge grin. I was happy but more to the point I was excited. Lexi really was pregnant and I was going to be someone’s dad. I put my arms around her, hugging her and kissing her temple. Lexi looked up at me before turning her attention to the doctor, a small smile on her lips, “Are you going to do an ultrasound?”

“Yes, right now. I just need you to lie back and be forewarned this gel is going to feel a bit cold.”

**An Hour later**

**River Edge Diner**

I felt Lexi’s eyes on me from across the booth we were sitting in, I arched my eyebrows as I put down the ultrasound picture that I held in my hand, “What?”

“Are you going to eat or are you just gonna stare at that all day?” She teased between bites of pancakes.

“I….it’s just kinda…..”

“Amazing.” She finished for me reaching out to take the photo that I had placed on the table.

I nodded while sipping my coffee, “It doesn’t feel real. I mean it looks like a bean. A really tiny bean.”

“Dean, don’t worry the next ultrasound will make it very real for you.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, you’ll get to hear the heartbeat and we can find out the sex.”

“It’s a boy.” I stated simply shoving a mouthful of hash browns in my mouth. “I know it. Winchesters don’t make girls.”

She laughed kicking me under the table, “Really? And how can you be so sure?”

“I just know. I can feel it in my bones. It’s definitely a boy.”

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**April 17, 2008**

Looking back, I can see when and how this all started. It didn't seem to mean much at the time. At first, it was just little arguments here and there between me and Sammy. I thought it was no big deal. I thought in time Sam would come around and realize I had to take a step back, that I needed to be there for Lexi, to protect her. Hunting had to take a back seat, too many demons had escaped from hell and I wasn't willing to put her and my baby's life in danger. I guess that was my first mistake. I thought the Sam I had brought back was the same one that I had carried out of the fire when I was four years old. I was dead wrong.

Now, I feel like I'm stuck in a vicious circle driving through these forgotten dusty back roads while I continue my search. I've spent my whole life constantly searching for something that I wasn't even sure was real, never knowing the full story of what happened that night, the night that changed my life forever.

I didn't really understand the scope of my father's obsession until now. I can't imagine the hell he went through for twenty two years knowing that the monster that murdered his wife was out there killing and destroying other people's lives.

After the night my mother died, we moved from town to town and place to place, never staying long enough for me to make friends. Yeah it was lonely and in the back of my mind I always wondered what if. What if Sammy wasn't born, what if that demon didn't come for him? Would my mother still be alive? Would I have gone to college? At the same time though, I can't imagine my life without my little brother but every wish I've ever made has been that my mom was still here.

Dad came back from a hunt one night, telling me and Sammy to pack our things ASAP. Neither one of us thought there was anything unusual about this until dad said he had decided to move me and Sammy to Ashland, Wisconsin so Sam could finish his last three years of high school. I, of course, had to stay behind on most hunts to take care of him. I didn't argue, I bit my tongue; I was always the good little solider. At first, I was pissed. I was pissed that I didn't matter enough for us to stay in one place so I could finish high school, a G.E.D. is not the same as a high school diploma.

A year later I was sitting at the counter of the local diner, Pete and Elda's, and there she was, Lexi Brennan. I'd never admit it to anyone, hell not even to Lexi herself, but the moment her green eyes locked on mine, I heard the proverbial click. I was drawn to her and not in the same way as with all those other girls. She was different, hell I was different when I was with her. I had felt dead inside until I met her. Lexi made me feel, something I hadn't done since I was four years old.

**March 4, 2000**

**Pete and Elda's Diner**

I walked into the diner for breakfast like I did every Saturday morning after dropping Sammy off at the library. I tried every time to get my little brother to come eat with me but he would go on about school work and needing to use the computer for something or other. Then he would tell me like a hundred times to pick him up at noon. I don't know why I even bother asking Sammy to come with me anymore. I made my way down the counter to the last stool, eying the pies along the way. I was a regular here and it was some unspoken rule that this spot was reserved for me, Dean Winchester. Even though I knew the menu by heart, I still snagged one out of the holder to see if anything jumped out at me. I had no idea that my world, my whole life was about to be turned upside down.

"Coffee?"

I looked up at the waitress in front of me, coffee pot in hand, our eyes locking. I had never seen her before and I was rendered speechless. I didn't say anything, it was as if time was at a stand still. All the noise around me vanished and I felt myself staring at her as I took in every detail. Licking my lips, I admired the curves of her body while imagining my hands tracing those curves. Her light brown hair was pulled back into an messy ponytail that drew attention to her face and eyes. Her eyes were a deep green, emerald green and she had a perfect full mouth that was now smiling at me showing off the dimples she had in each cheek. At the moment I couldn't take my eyes off of her lips, I wanted to kiss her and I wondered if her lip gloss was cherry flavored.

"Um hello? Yes...no?"

"Uh? What?" I asked snapping out of my daze.

"Coffee?"

"Yeah."

I didn't take my eyes off her when she poured my coffee. She bit down on her bottom lip, blushing, as she leaned forward giving me a good view of her cleavage when she placed the cup of coffee in front of me. “Let me guess black?” I nodded, still not trusting that I had full control over my voice or brain. “Not much of a talker are you? That’s cool. I like the strong silent type. Do you know what you want?”

Meredith, another waitress, strode towards the kitchen just as she asked the question glancing at me with a smirk on her face, "Honey, he wants in your pants."

I ignored Meredith turning my attention to the girl in front of me whose eyebrow was raised at me slightly. I wanted to say, 'Yes. You in the bathroom up against the wall or in the backseat of my car, which ever you prefer.' but instead I grabbed the menu and turned my attention to her saying, "I'll take the breakfast special, side of bacon."

"Scrambled or runny?" She asked studying me with a small smile on her lips, "You look like a runny eggs guy to me."

"Scrambled."

"Really? Hmmm I must be loosing my touch."

"I'm full of surprises." I stated simply giving her my most adorable smile.

"Oh yeah? You don't say?" She smiled at me her dimples on full display and that's when I knew I was in like Flynn.

After my third coffee refill the new waitress placed my bill in front me letting her fingers brush the side of my hand. I leaned forward slightly reading her name tag, then looked at her smiling, “Thanks, Lexi. What time do you get off?”  
  
She placed her elbows on the counter resting her chin in her hands, her eyes lit up mischievously, “Oh, sweetie, no self respecting waitress lets herself get picked up by a customer on the first try. What would the other waitresses think of me? Besides, I don't even know you're name.”  
  
“It's Dean.”  
  
“Try again, Dean. I work the breakfast shift every weekend.”

  **May 25, 2000**

**Pete and Elda's Diner**

I went to have dinner at the diner like I did most days lately. Sure the place was a bit of a greasy spoon but it had it's upsides. For one,it was cheap and Lexi might be working the dinner shift. The latter was the real reason I had been spending so much time there, just the thought of seeing her made me smile. Although tonight, I had no idea what I was walking into.

I strode over to my usual spot sitting down and drumming my fingers on the cracked linoleum counter while watching Lexi buzz around the diner. I caught Lexi's eye and flashed her a smile expecting her to smile back, instead I got the stink eye. I was confused, she snapped and tapped her pen while asking me what I wanted, my food was practically thrown at me and for the first time in two months she didn't hang around to talk to me. I ate my dinner in slience attempting to catch her eye every time she passed me with no luck. I couldn't think of what I could've done to make her so mad at me.

"What's wrong with you Lex?" I asked grabbing her hand when she placed the check on the counter before she could stalk off.

Lexi jerked out of my grasp her green eyes hard, "What do you want?"

"I do something?" I asked not hiding my surprise, "Cuz I dunno. You just seem angry."

"I don't have all day Dean I have other customers." She snapped glaring at me.

"What?"

"Next time do me a favor and sit in someone else's section."

"I LIKE this spot."

"Too bad annoy someone else for a change."

I rubbed the back of my neck dropping my eyes to the dull white counter not wanting her to see the disappointment on my face, "I don't want to annoy someone else."

"Oh?" Lexi questioned placing her hands on the counter and leaning towards me, "Do you get off on annoying me or something?"

"It's possible." I smirked enjoying how her face was beginning to flush red, "You sure can work the anger thing well."

"Whatever Dean. Anything else?"

"Yeah there is, what are you doing tomorrow night....” I trailed off in an attempt to play it cool. I didn't want her to know that I really wanted her to say yes or that I had been planning this since she shot me down the first time we met two months ago.

She raised her eyebrow at me, her fingers lightly brushing my hand, "Why do you care what I'm doing?"

"Just asking."

"Why?"

"I dunno maybe I wanted to see if you were interested in doing something but since you're not….."

She tilted her head to the side her whole face lighting up showing off her dimples that I liked so much. “Are you asking me out on a date?”

"Yeah I am." I stated matter of fact using my eyebrows as punctuation, "Do you want to go out tomorrow?"

Lexi nodded shifting slightly before sighing, "Um I can't tomorrow…."

"What? Why not?"

"Cuz I have a thing….."

"What thing?"

"Prom. I'm sorry."

"Prom? PROM?" I snorted, the coffee that I had just drank practically coming out of my nose, "You're going to prom? Huh, you don't strike me as a prom chick. Well, whatever another time then."

"I'm not. My friend asked me and I felt bad for the guy he's so shy. I can't back out on him last minute."

"Yeah, well another time."

"Well maybe after the prom?" Lexi asked me chewing her bottom lip, "Not like I'm gonna go hang out with guy and have sex with him or anything, he's just my geek friend."

"Yeah alright. I'll see ya later." I stated trying to hide the disappointment that I was suddenly feeling. I got up placing a few bills on top of the blue and white check not meeting her eyes as I turned to leave.

"Dean?" Lexi called after me shifting nervously, "What about Saturday?"

"Saturday then."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." I nodded smirking at her, "I'll pick you up at 7:00."

**April 17, 2008**

Lexi's gone, I'm lost without her and I never knew how much I depended on her until the moment she disappeared from my life. Now, here I am, following in my father's footsteps, on the road once again searching for something that's just out of my reach. My life has come full circle and I finally understand my father's actions. I'm grateful for everything he's taught me. I will not stop until I have her and our son back with me. If it takes me the rest of my life, so be it. I feel my world spinning out of control and at last, I get my place in all of this.


	3. Chapter 3

**April 17, 2008**

**Dean's POV**

I finally stopped dreaming about demons. Now I dream about all the things I thought I would never have. I dream about being normal, coming home to a beautiful wife and a couple of kids. I dream about Lexi finishing Med School and becoming that fancy doctor she always wanted to be, of me owning my own garage, of holidays and birthdays with my family. All the things I've seen on T.V. and in the movies, the things that were always out of my grasp. I dream about being normal.

But, I'll never be normal. For some reason, I'm not allowed to be. I've seen too many horrible things in my life, I know too much about what's really out there in the dark. Every night when I would hear Jake crying on the baby monitor, I didn't think 'Oh he's hungry.' Or 'Oh he needs a diaper change,' no not me because that's what a regular person would think. Instead, I would run to the nursery shot gun in hand ready to waste whatever demonic son of a bitch that was in my son's room.

There never was anything in Jake's room, he was crying for all the reasons that babies cry in the middle of the night. Like an idiot, I would put the gun down and pick up my son rocking him gently in my arms to quiet him down while we made our way downstairs to get him a bottle. After feeding Jake, I would sit in the rocking chair in his nursery and talk to him softly as he fell asleep in my arms. It didn't matter if he understood what I was saying, all that mattered was that I was still there.

Once he was asleep, I would put him back in his crib and just watch him while he slept. I couldn't help but smile at him, he was perfect and innocent and I felt all my regrets come to the surface. I should've done this all sooner. This was the moment that I swore to Jacob and myself that I would never let anything bad happen to him or to Lexi. It was the one promise that I never wanted to break but the reality of it all was that I would break it like every promise I've ever made.

**June 10, 2007**

**The Blue Hawaiian Motel**

**Defiance, Ohio**

"Anything yet?" I asked Sam as I sat at the kitchen table across from him, "How hard is it to pin down a vampire nest?"

Sam looked up at me his bitch face firmly in place muttering a fuck you before returning his attention to his laptop. I drummed my fingers restlessly looking around the shabby motel room, the Hawaiian theme making it appear even worse than it really was. I had to admit I was getting tired of this; all these back roads and roach motels were getting old. My eyes drifted over to Lexi while she fussed with her clothes, huffing and puffing before tearing off her top and trying on another only to tear that one off in frustration.

Lexi flopped on the bed her hands clawing at the worn Hawaiian motif bedspread in frustration, "This is ridiculous!"

Sam and I glanced at each other knowing full well we were now treading in dangerous territory. I cleared my throat trying not to smirk, "What's ridiculous, Lex?"

"Nothing fits anymore!"

"Well, um that's because you're pregnant." I stated simply not wanting to deal with another one of her hormonal crying fits.

"I'm very aware that I'm pregnant." Lexi snapped sitting up and glaring in my direction, "I don't need you to point out that fact Captain Obvious."

"Will you two just shut up already?" Sam huffed from behind his laptop, "Dean either take her shopping for maternity clothes or let her take the car. I can't concentrate on researching this case while you two bicker."

"Fine." I sighed wearily tossing her the keys knowing full well there was no way I wanted to going shopping with Lexi, "Here, Lex, take the car just don't be gone too long."

**Two hours later**

Lexi grumbled to herself after loading the numerous bags filled with Maternity clothes into the Impala. She couldn't understand why everything had to be in pink or bright happy colors. She was not a bright happy color type of girl and definitely not a pink girl. She was more of a basic black type but what could she do? It wasn't like she could wear the clothes she had with her for much longer. So for the most part she stuck with the darker colors the shop had along with some flowing summer dresses, maternity jeans, and cropped pants.

Lexi caught her reflection in the driver's window, her face immediately scrunching up in disgust. She fingered the flowing light pink top she had just bought, only because it was comfortable, remembering how the sales girl told her she looked adorable in it. She sighed, this was bothering her more than it should. She didn't think that the weight gain would get to her as much as it had been. She was actually kind of enjoying being pregnant for the most part but in truth it wasn't the weight gain that was bothering her. The truth of the matter was that it was the whole situation that Lexi now found herself in.

She couldn't tell any of her friends where she was or that she was pregnant since Dean was a fugitive. Her whole life was now secretive and lived in back roads, cheap motels and diners. Plus there were all those demons that kept coming after them and as if that wasn't stressful enough, now Lexi kept worrying how they were going to live this way with a baby. She knew there was not going to be a baby shower, no going to some overpriced baby store to scan countless items that they supposedly needed, no picking out baby furniture and bedding for a nursery either. This was not how she pictured her life. What she wanted, normalcy, she knew she would never be able to have with Dean. Lexi made her choice the moment she told him she was pregnant and there was no looking back now. She knew if she wanted him in their baby's life then this was the life it had to be.

Lexi was so consumed with her thoughts that she didn't hear the odd man approaching from behind her. Even with her telepathy she had no idea what was about to happen.

"Excuse me?" The stranger said loudly from behind her.

She spun around startled at the gruff sound of the man's voice, "Yes?"

"You're Lexi Brennan, right?" The man asked taking a step closer to her as if he was inspecting her face for some kind of confirmation.

Lexi raised her eyebrow, instinctively taking a step back, "Yeah and you are?"

"I'm Kubric. I knew your mother."

"Really?"

"Yeah we went on some hunts together." He paused smiling at her, "You look just like her."

**An Hour Later**

"Something's wrong Sammy." I whispered wearing a grove into the worn carpet while throwing anxious glances at the clock, "It's been three hours now."

"Dean she's fine." Sam sighed not bothering to look up from his book, "Stop being so overbearing."

"She's not fine!" I raged grabbing my cell and shoving it in his face, "Sammy if she was fine how come she's not answering her cell?"

Sam looked at my cell that was dialing Lexi and back to me raising his eyebrow, "Maybe she doesn't have service in the mall or maybe she's trying on clothes and doesn't hear it."

"SAMMY!"

Sam huffed rolling eyes and slamming his book shut as he stood up, "Fine. Let's go find her then."

**Fifteen Minutes Later**

**Woodbridge Mall**

I was sick to my stomach. I just knew something had happened to Lexi before we even found the Impala. I felt it in my bones. I tried to hide that I was scared shitless but that blew up in my face the moment I found her purse on the ground.

"Sam. SAMMY!"

Sam spun around turning to look where I was crouching on the ground. I held up the purse for him to see, Sam gasped in response as he looked around the mall parking lot.

"Okay Dean, someone had to see something. We just have to start asking around." Sam stated calmly.

"No! We don't have time for that!" I screamed while digging through her purse in search of her cell phone, "Her cell's not here. See if the GPS is on. We have to find her Sammy, NOW!"

"Dean, calm down." Sam motioned towards the mall speaking softly, "Let's go inside and find out if anyone saw what happened."

"Calm down? CALM DOWN? HOW CAN I BE CALM? I KNOW WHAT HAPPENED HERE! FUCKING DEMONS SNATCHED MY PREGNANT GIRLFRIEND! THAT'S WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED HERE!" I glared at the soccer moms that were eying me and pulling their little brats closer to their sides to protect them from my raving, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING AT?"

"Dean," Sam hissed pulling me roughly by the arm away from the shoppers that were now staring at me like I was some deranged mental patient, "Calm down. We don't even know if it was a demon or demons yet."

"You don't understand Sammy. I should've been here with her. It's my responsibility to keep her safe. I couldn't even do that." I bit my lip taking a deep breath trying to gain control but when I spoke, my voice broke. There was no hiding that I was scared shitless, "If anything happens to her or to the baby…."

"We'll get her back, okay. We just have to treat this like any other hunt." Sam nodded trying to make me believe he was right, "Now I'll see if we can find her with the GPS on her phone. And what are you going to do?"

I walked over to the Impala popping open the trunk and began loading up on weapons. I turned looking at Sam and stated calmly, "I'm gonna kill them all."

**Thirty Minutes Later**

Lexi groaned, her head swam, she was dizzy and disorientated. All she knew for sure was that she now had a massive migraine building in her head. Panic coursed through her veins when she opened her eyes and there was nothing but darkness. She struggled to get up, the binds cutting into the flesh of her wrists, now the panic that she had felt turned into desperation as she continued to struggle her breathing becoming erratic. 'Stay calm', she thought to herself, 'Dean will find me. Dean will find me.'

"You're awake." The gruff voice said somewhere to her left, "Good we can talk now."

Lexi blinked as her eyes adjusted to the brightness of the room once the blindfold had been removed. Her eyes locked on to those of her capture's as she willed him against the wall except nothing happened. He didn't move an inch. "What the hell?"

Kubric smirked at her pointing to the amulet he was wearing around his neck, "You're parlor tricks don't work here, little girl."

"An amulet? What the hell?" Lexi seethed trying even harder to get free from the chair, "I'm gonna kill you, you son of a bitch!"

Kubric stopped in front of her smacking her with an open fist across her mouth, "Such language you have. I see the Winchesters have taught you a thing or two. Just so you know you're powerless now. This amulet protects me from your powers. See I'm not as stupid as my friend Gordon."

"Oh really? Well you must be because if I don't kill you, Dean will."

"Oh Lexi, I'm counting on Dean coming after you. You're the bait. He killed Gordon and that just doesn't sit right with me."

"Gordon was a psycho." Lexi hissed as she glared at Kubric, "You're no better than him! We haven't done anything to you."

"You haven't done anything?" Kubric stopped and stared at her in disbelief, "You little girl, are Lilith reborn! You're here to destroy mankind just like Samael and Lilith before. You're father Azazel made sure of that!"

"My father?" Lexi shook her head confused, "You're crazy."

"Oh yes, YOUR father. You've met him. I believe the Winchesters call him the yellow eyed demon."

"Now I know you're insane!"

"Oh no, its true. It's all here in your mother's journal. Ya know we've been looking for you for a very long time." Kubric stated calmly waving a worn leather bound book under Lexi's nose, "Azazel was a powerful demon, at one time had a corporal form and he could possess people as well. Your mother, Megan, destroyed his corporal form after she found out who he was. But you see Azazel was smart too. He made sure he was going to have a human child, one that could walk among us unknown until her 22nd birthday. And you, you're that child. Azazel handpicked you and Sam Winchester to destroy us but I will stop you. God picked me to stop you. You're half pure blood demon so I can't exorcise you but I can kill you."

Lexi closed her eyes willing herself to stay calm as she thought to herself, 'He's nuts. I'm not evil. My father is not the yellow eyed demon. He can't be. I'm not a demon.'

**Ten Minutes Later**

"You sure this is it, Sammy?" I questioned looking up at the blue house across the street, "It looks a little Ozzie and Harriet, not exactly demon digs."

"Yes, I'm sure. Dean, did you ever think that maybe we're not dealing with a demon here, maybe it's a person."

I ignored Sam getting out of the car and opening the trunk. I grabbed a knife turning it over in my hand deciding whether or not I should take it with me as Sam huffed behind me. "You go in the front, I'll go around the back." I stated firmly slipping the knife in my boot.

Sam looked up at the house and back to me shoving his hands deep in his pockets, "Dean, what if it's not….."

"Sammy, go in the front. We're wasting time here."

I entered the house as if it was any other job. I moved through the back of the house quietly, my gun raised checking corners and doors but came up empty. I was about to go check the basement when I heard movement coming from the second floor. I rushed into the hallway meeting Sam at the foot of the stairs. We looked at each other; I jerked my head towards the second floor letting Sam take point. The closer we go to the room, the more my heart hammered in my chest. I was scared shitless of what we were about to find. I nodded at Sam to enter first as I took a deep breath to steady my nerves.

"Let her go." I heard Sam growl moments before I entered the room; my eyes scanned the small space landing on Lexi. My blood began to boil as I looked at her bound to the chair in the center of the room. It just wasn't the fear in her eyes that made me snap, it was her bruised face and split lip. I turned, looking at the other hunter and it was done. I lost it. I pulled the trigger before he could even plead for his life and I didn't care one bit.

"Dean!" Sam shouted as I made my way over to Lexi to get her out of there as quickly as we could, "You don't even know who he was!"

"Yeah I do. That's Kubric, he's a hunter. Well he WAS a hunter and now he's dead."

**June 10, 2007 (Night)**

**The Blue Hawaiian Motel**

**Defiance, Ohio**

I smiled to myself as she sat down on the edge of the tub while pulling out the first aid kit from my bag. Leaning forward, I ran my hands down her sides before resting them on her stomach. No one would've ever guessed that she was pregnant but I could see it. I could see the small bump and the other changes. It made me want to protect her even more, even if it meant that I had to kill every other hunter and demon out there to do it. I was going to.

"I'm your weakness Dean, they all know it." Lexi stated quietly, "Maybe I should go before you get yourself killed."

"You're not going anywhere." I said kneeling in front of her on the cracked tiled floor, "I'm not gonna die and you're not a weakness. Now let me fix up your wrists."

She looked at me offering up both her wrists that now had deep cuts from her struggling against the plastic zip ties Kubric had used to bound her to the chair. It felt weird being on this side of things. It was usually Lexi who was patching me up not the other way around. She watched me clean out her cuts, her face scrunching up slightly when I poured the peroxide over them. Other than that, Lexi didn't speak or show any reaction at all. I looked her over carefully for any other wounds after bandaging up her wrists.

"Are you hurt anywhere else? He didn't…."

"No, Dean. Just my wrists and the bruises on my face." She whispered turning her mother's leather journal over in her hands, "He didn't do anything else."

I leaned forward kissing her forehead because I didn't know what else to do, "Okay then. Why don't you go get some sleep?"

I stood there beside the motel bed, my bag opened and half packed, watching Lexi sleep. I had to make a choice but I knew I had already made it when I killed Kubric tonight. I rubbed the Roman numerals, (XI V MMVI) 11/5/2006, our anniversary; that was tattooed down my left forearm when I felt Sam's eyes on me.

"What's wrong Dean?"

"I'm done, Sammy." I looked down at the roman numerals sighing, "Demons I can handle. I can understand why they would want to hurt someone that I love. But another hunter? Kubric was going to kill Lexi and my child because of me. I can't do this anymore. I…I'm done."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

**June 20, 2007**

**Super 8 Motel**

**Ashland, WI**

I knew this was a bad idea the moment we crossed the Wisconsin border. Why I let Lexi talk me into coming here I don't know. No, actually I do know. I came so I didn't have to deal with her giving me her wounded big green bambi eyes again. I swear that girl should get an academy award or some shit. She knew exactly how to twist me around that little finger of hers. So, fine we're here in Ashland but I drew the line at going to her parents with her. Ya know, cause I was really gonna walk in there and tell her crazy ass father that I knocked his little angel up. Besides, last time I saw Lexi's dad he threatened to cut my balls off and I liked them right where they were thank you very much.

"Lex, why are we even here?" I asked opening the motel room door for her, "They're only gonna give you shit like they always do."

Lexi sighed looking up at me, "Because Dean, they're my parents. I just want them to know that I'm okay, that I'm pregnant and that I'm with you."

"Well don't expect them to be thrilled over the news. Ya know this isn't some TV sitcom."

"Yeah I know." She whispered opening up one of our bags digging through it, "You really need some new clothes, you're down to two pairs of jeans."

"Lex, don't change the subject."

"Dean, I'm well aware of how my parents are, okay. I don't need you to remind me. I'm just gonna go downtown get you some new clothes and then I'm gonna go over there and talk to them." She stated simply walking towards the door before turning to look at me, "I'll be back by dark."

The past ten days had been icy at best between Sam and me. He couldn't wrap his head around the fact that I needed to stop hunting. The truth was I wanted to stop, I was tired of it all and for once I wanted to know what it was like to be normal. I smirked at Lexi as she walked out the door. She was the reason why I wanted to be normal. I wanted to know what it was like to be apart of a normal family again. I heard Sam huff from behind me; I sighed bracing myself for another bitch fit before I raised my eyebrows turning in his direction.

"What, Sam? You have something to say, say it."

He shrugged his shoulders shoving his hands in his pockets, "You're really gonna stop, uh?"

"I have to Sammy."

"Why Dean?" Sam asked angrily stalking over to where I stood, "Weren't you the one that told me I had to face up to who I was meant to be….a hunter? You're a hunter, Dean. REMEMBER?"

"Yes I remember." I snapped pushing past him into the small bathroom to shave, "I have other things to do right now, Sammy. I have to protect Lexi and my kid. I can't do both."

"She can protect herself and you know it."

I turned towards Sam more pissed off than I ever remember being at him, "You said yourself that she shouldn't use her powers! You said they could be tracking her that way! AND NOW YOU'RE SAYING LET HER USE THEM? NO WAY SAMMY! THIS ENDS NOW! I AM NOT HUNTING UNTIL AFTER THE BABY'S HERE! IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT THEN TOUGH SHIT!"

"So that's how it's gonna be, uh?"

"Yes." I snapped glaring at Sam, "You never wanted to hunt Sam and since dad's died now it's all you wanna do. Well, you know what? I followed dad's orders my whole life and I'm done. I'm taking a break just like you took a break when you went to Stanford."

**Rare Cargo Clothing**

Lexi roamed aimlessly around the clothing store silently going over the list of items she needed for Dean. _Flannel shirts: check, T-Shirts: check, Jeans (Painter's Jeans cause Dean's a picky bitch): check, Boxers: check and socks (It amazes her how he always manages to loose at least one sock when he does the laundry. Four socks go in only 3 make it back) check._ Now that she had everything Dean needed Lexi decided to buy a little something for herself. Lets face it what girl could go shopping and NOT buy herself anything?

She wanted something comfortable that she could just lie around in since now that's all she really cared about at the moment. She smiled to herself when her eyes landed on a display of comfortable looking pajama tops and bottoms across from her. She fingered the white bottoms with black flower print thoughtfully, debating if she should spend the 30.00 on the set and then have to listen to Dean go on and on about how they could've used that money for gas. Lexi grabbed the bottoms and the matching top adding them to the unsteady pile in her arms, Dean would just have to get over it. She headed towards the cashier deciding it was best to leave before she blew all their extra cash when she noticed a familiar figure questioning some of the other customers. She spun around quickly moving in the opposite direction, hoping he hadn't seen her but it was too late he had.

"Well, well, well. I just can't believe my luck." The man smirked at her as he eyed the pile of clothing in her arms, "So Lexi how's Dean these days?"

"I already told you Agent Henricksen when you asked me in New York that we broke up. I haven't seen or spoken to Dean Winchester in almost two years."

"Really?" He asked tilting his head slightly and rubbing his chin, "Funny thing is Miss Brennan a few days after we had our little chat you emptied all your bank accounts and disappeared. Now I know a smart girl like you can see how I find that strange. You left med school, you were top of your class, doesn't seem like something a person in your situation would do. So tell me, where did you go?"

"I went to Cabo. I had a need to sit on a beach and get smashed." Lexi looked Henricksen straight in the eye, her eyes wide and innocent and said, "See you told me that someone I had spent the past six years of my life with was a monster. I felt like I needed to reevaluate things."

"Yeah I know you bought a ticket to Mexico. Did Dean met you there?"

Lexi laughed stepping closer to the FBI Agent taunting him, "Hmm for someone who claims to know Dean Winchester so well you just made a mistake. Maybe you should do your homework a little more carefully next time, Agent Henricksen. Dean doesn't fly."

"I'm not playing games here." Henricksen raged stepping closer to Lexi in an attempt to intimidate her, "Now you tell me where he is or I'll charge you with aiding and abetting and for obstruction of justice."

"For you to do that you actually have to have proof that I know where Dean is and that I'm hiding him. You're fishing and I don't scare easily." She stated simply when her cell began to ring. Lexi looked down at the caller id that was flashing 'home'. It wasn't home obviously it was Dean but Lexi had to play it off so that Henricksen didn't know it was Dean on the other line. "Hi dad, no I'll be home soon. I'm having a pleasant little chat with Agent Henricksen. Yes dad, the same man who harassed me in New York. I'll be home soon."

Henricksen snatched the phone away from Lexi as soon as she hung up and began scrolling through her contact list. He knew that was Dean Winchester, he just knew it. There had to be something here, something he was missing. She was smart like them; there was no evidence in her phone linking her to the Winchesters. No contacts, no text messages, nothing. "Can I have my phone back now? Don't worry you'll be the first person I call if I hear from the Winchesters."

He shoved the phone back at Lexi forcefully, giving her the stink eye as he watched her head over to the cashier counter. He looked at his partner gesturing towards the young brunette, "She knows something. That was Dean Winchester that called her. I bet he's here with her now right under our noses."

"I'm sure he is boss." The younger agent stated wearily. He was really tiring of his boss' obsession with the Winchester brothers, "We questioned everyone in town. No one's seen him in eight years."

"She's just as conniving has he is!"

"She's just some twenty something year old, some young girl that once dated the guy. I doubt she actually knows anything."

"Oh she knows exactly where Dean is." Henricksen nodded watching Lexi as she walked out of the clothing store and headed down the tree-lined street.

**Brennan Residence**

**1642 Maple Street**

Lexi stared at the white bi-level house in front of her with its perfect manicured landscaping and black shutters. Just seeing it made her remember how much she hated living there with her adopted parents. It brought back memories of strict rules and the constant reminder of how much she disappointed them. She hadn't been back in six almost seven years. She sighed before knocking realizing Dean was right, she should've just called them.

Lexi shifted uncomfortably on the love seat as both of her parents sat across from her on the couch. She felt like she was being interrogated, kinda like a cornered animal and all she wanted to do was get back to the motel and to Dean.

"How are you and Dean gonna take care of a baby, uh?" Her father fired at her like it was a weapon and not a simple question.

"Dad, stop."

"What? It's a perfectly reasonable question."

"Come on he's not a kid." Lexi protested hoping for once her father would just understand where she was coming from, "He's twenty eight, he has a job."

"Doesn't matter how old you are it's still a good question to ask. What's he do?"

Lexi sighed looking at her mother for some back up but didn't get any as usual. She didn't know why she was surprised by this. Her mother always just sat there while her father ranted and raved at her, always. "Dean's a mechanic dad. He restores those muscle cars, ya know like the car he drives."

"Oh really? What's the name of the place he works at?"

"Green's auto body and restoration."

"Huh...I see."

"What? I thought you were okay with Dean. I thought you were over the age thing."

"I tolerated him and you weren't knocked up before! I could pretend you never had sex then."

"Oh come on," Lexi snorted shaking her head, her father couldn't be that thick, "I was sixteen and he was twenty one! What did you think we were doing, playing scrabble?"

"Any parent would have been upset by that fact. He was twenty one! Lexi, you were sixteen, still a kid and he had a new girl every night!"

"No he wasn't with someone new every damn night!"

"That's another reason we were upset. Why couldn't you have just stayed with his younger brother? At least he was your age! Dean treated you like shit."

"Whatever, he's a good guy you just never gave him a chance because you were hung up on the age difference."

"Was there another reason to this visit, aside from you coming to tell us you were pregnant?" Her father snapped while he glared at her stomach still trying to deny the obvious fact that his little princess was knocked up by what he considered the devil incarnate himself.

She shrugged as she shifted on the love seat once more, becoming more and more uncomfortable as the conversation continued. "I didn't think you wanted to hear it on the phone. You didn't even know we were back together."

"Happier times….Are you going to finish school?"

"I don't know. I kinda have more pressing matters now like the fact that I'm pregnant. I can't very well be in New York and Dean be down south. And maybe I don't want to be a doctor anymore."

"You're throwing away your life over some guy who's probably going to be gone in a year, maybe two if he's feeling generous."

"Dean is not going anywhere. He loves me. You're acting like I did all this on purpose."

"I know you didn't. You're my daughter and I love you. He hurt you, more than once and for that I don't like him. I don't think he's good for you. I don't like that you're putting all of your dreams on the back burner for him. That won't change, ever. So you accept that and I'll accept that you're pregnant."

"He is good for me!"

"Well I'm glad you think so." Her father paused for a moment before looking Lexi directly in the eye, his facing slow starting to burn with anger, "Is that why he's a FUGITIVE? Why the HELL is everyone looking for him huh?! WHY'S THE FBI AFTER HIM IF HE'S SO GOOD? Yeah, you're going to raise a REAL good family with a damn wanted man!"

"Dad stop!"

"Stop? You know what? Fine!"

"DEAN IS NOT A MURDERER! HE DIDN'T KILL THOSE WOMEN!" Lexi stood up shaking her head. It was no use they were never gonna see what she saw in Dean. "You know what I'm outta here, I didn't come here to fight. Don't worry you wont see me again."

**June 20, 2007(Night)**

**Super 8 Motel**

**Ashland, WI**

"We gotta go." Lexi seethed slamming the motel door, "Henricksen is in town and my dad's gonna call the FBI on you."

"WHAT? I told you going to him was a bad idea!" I snapped jumping off the couch and glaring at Lexi, "Why the hell did you even have to go talk to him?"

"Because I wanted them to know I was all right. It's not my fault you're a damn fugitive."

"Not my fault your father's an ass!"

"Whatever lets just get the hell out of here." Sam snapped at both of us, "I really don't feel like having to bust out of jail because you two were bickering."

Lexi zipped up her bag looking at Sam and me her eyes lit up mischievously, "Hey do you think I could blow my dad up?"

"Lexi, I don't think you should be using your powers." Sam stated gently giving her his puppy eyes, "Plus you're pregnant with Dean's spawn your emotions are all wonky."

"For once I agree with him." I nodded looking at Lexi, "I just got a bad feeling about it."

"Why not?" she snapped glaring at Sam and me her green eyes hard and suddenly flashing yellow, "It's not like you're telling Sam not to use his!"

I shook my head in disbelief. I didn't see that. I'm loosing it or my eyes are playing tricks on me. Lexi's eyes did not just turn yellow. "What the hell was that? Since when do you have yellow eyes?"

"What?"

"SAM, back me up! Sammy!"

"It's probably nothing Dean. My eyes go black when I access certain powers and Jake's eyes turned red. So um I guess Lexi's go yellow..."

I crossed the short distance between us quickly grabbing her by both arms and shaking her, "What plans did he have for you Lex?"

"The same as Sam's, the same as the rest of the psychic kids."

"Liar!"

"I'm not lying." Lexi said quietly jerking away from my grasp, "Come on we have to go."

"This isn't over!"

"He wanted me to kill you! He wanted me to do it the night he opened the gate. I would never….."

Sam snatched the car keys out of my hand gesturing to the parking lot, "Come on we have to go. I'll drive Dean."

"No, Sammy!"

Sam grabbed my arm hissing in my ear, "She's upset sit in the back with her."

"Bitch."

"Jerk." Sam sighed giving me that damn puppy look of his, "Dean for once pretend you're a nice guy."

"Yeah yeah." I muttered getting in the back seat next to Lexi.

"You're letting Sam drive? Why?"

"Cause I want to."

"Who are you and what have you done with Dean?"

"You know I could have him pull this car over right now and I'll just drive."

"Hmm let me guess shape shifter?" she asked tilting her head to the side while Sam smirked from the front seat, "I know how to kill you, silver bullet right here." She stated touching my chest lightly, "Just do me a favor and don't shed here. I don't think my stomach could handle it."

"DEAN! What did I just tell you?" Sam lectured his lips forming a thin white line. His eyes going wide while he gestured with his head for me to move closer to her.

"Shut up, Sammy!" I turned my attention back to Lexi scooting closer to her on the back seat. I put my arm around her waist pulling her against me and resting my chin on the top of her head, "I know you wouldn't kill me. You don't have an evil bone in your body."

"Oh, that would be dumb on my part, not like anyone else wants me."

"Don't be stupid."

"I'm not being stupid." She mumbled staring down at her hands, "I know what they were thinking."

"Yeah well fuck them."

"My mom just sat there and didn't say anything but I knew what she was thinking, my dad too. They both wished they never adopted me, that I was a disappointment."

"It doesn't matter."

"Yeah it does. The only thing that ever wanted me was the demon that killed my bio-mom."

"You don't need them."

"Maybe I do."

"No. You have me."

Lexi stared at me her eyes sad and doubtful, "Do I?"

"Damn right." I whispered cupping her face in my hands so I could force her to look at me, "You're stuck with me."

**June 29, 2007**

**Galaxy Diner**

**Flagstaff, AZ**

God I was nervous and I do not get nervous. This was new for me, the whole sweaty palms thing. I took a deep breath digging the ring out of my front pocket while Lexi continued to steal my cheese fries. I cleared my throat placing the ring in between us on the table, "So…..."

She looked at the ring and back to me her eyebrows knotted together, "What's this?"

"What's it look like?"

"An engagement ring?" She asked softly eyeing the ring carefully, "Dean, you're not the marrying type."

I rubbed the back of my neck, this is not going as planned, "I can be whatever type I damn well please."

"I don't expect anything from you okay."

Lexi began pushing her food back and forth, her eyes on her plate as she refused to look at me. I ran my hand down my face trying to think what to say. I know she didn't expect anything from me and how could I blame her? I always made it a point to tell her that I didn't want this; that I didn't want kids or marriage.

"I know, Lexi. I want to get married though."

"Since when? I thought you hated normal?"

"Marriage doesn't have to be normal! You and me are not normal, being married is not going to change that." I could feel my heart hammering in my chest like I was on the verge of some kinda freak out. I just wanted her to say yes, that's all I wanted to hear; the details could be worked out later. "Will you just take the damn ring?!"

Lexi threw her fork down with that stubborn look of hers on her face. I knew that look well and I knew I wasn't getting the answer that I wanted from her. "No, I'm not taking the ring. This isn't you and I don't want it because you feel guilty or a responsibility or whatever!"

"I'm not doing it because of that!"

"Then why?"

"Because I WANT to."

"That's sweet," she whispered shaking her head, "but we can't."

"Yes we can."

"Really? You're a fugitive. You're wanted in what 3...4 states?"

"That's beside the point!"

"No its not. We'd have to get a marriage license. You don't think that the FBI won't find it somehow? Dean, it's public record!"

"So we'll use fake names."

"What's the point of getting married if you're gonna end up in jail?"

"I won't." Lexi leaned back against the booth shaking her head giving me the most pathetic look I've ever seen from her, "C'mon we got one shot to do this."

"Fake names? Then it's not legal what's the damn point?"

"It is, it'll be for us. It doesn't matter if anyone else fucking knows we'll know."

"So our kid's gonna have a fake name too?"

"We'll deal with that when it happens."

Lexi stared at the ring chewing on her bottom lip, I didn't know what else to say to her. I didn't know how to let her know that this is what I really wanted. So, I did the only thing I could think of, I grabbed the ring off the table and put it on her finger.

"How did you afford a ring? You didn't steal it did you?"

"No, I didn't steal it." I snorted, "You think I'd do that?"

"No. How'd you get it then? Please don't tell me you won it in some poker game or something."

I sighed running my hand down my face avoiding her eyes like the plague. I really didn't want to talk about this, "No, my mom."

She gasped grabbing my face forcing me to look at her, "You're giving me your mom's ring?"

"Yeah…"

"Wow, Dean. I dunno what to say."

"Lex," I stated giving her a pointed look that meant 'drop it', "no chick flick moments, okay."

"Ok, no chick flick moments." She smiled at me, one of those huge 'I'm so incredible happy' smiles. I was waiting for the fairy tale animals to burst through the diner's doors by that look on her face. She laughed suddenly, deep and throaty, throwing her head back against the booth, "I'm in bizzaro world."

"Yeah, well, you always said you liked how unpredictable I am."


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be forewarned there is sex in this chapter.

**Chapter 5**

**June 29, 2007**

**Summer Sands Motel**

**Flagstone, AZ**

I fumbled with the motel room key as Lexi wrapped herself around me. She pulled me close to her kissing and nibbling her way along my jaw line making me drop the key again. She giggled her lips pressed up against my throat taunting me, “Klutz.”

I lifted her chin smirking, “It's your fault you little tease. You're very distracting.”

Lexi reached down grabbing the key out of my hand, opening the door quickly and easily with that huge smile of hers that showed off her dimples, “Was that so hard, Dean?”

“Yes,” I laughed backing her towards the light green couch, “because you, Lex, are…..”

“Very distracting.” She finished for me laughing softly.

It was nice to hear her laugh, she always had this way of pulling me out of a funk, always being able to make me forget whatever bad shit was going down at the time. I needed that right now. I just wanted to push all the shit going on with her and Sam to the back of my mind. We spent the rest of the afternoon just hanging out on the couch kissing and watching some old Hitchcock movie on AMC. The relaxed feeling of the room changed the moment Sam entered slamming the door in one of his huffs.

“Dean, can I talk to you outside?”

“I'm kinda busy here Sammy.”

“No,” Sam snapped as I ignored him and continued kissing Lexi, “now Dean.”

My eyes went wide when Sam roughly grabbed the back of my shirt prying me away from Lexi and dragging me outside, “Hey!”

“Shut up!”

“You're a fucking cock block ya know that!”

“WHATEVER DEAN! You screw her 24/7 don't gimmie that stupid line.”

“Well, Sammy,” I smirked at him crossing my arms, “maybe if you got laid more than once a year you wouldn't care how often I had sex. It'd help with that bitchiness of yours too.”

I tried not to laugh as Sam's face turned several shades of red, his fists clenching and unclenching, “Just SHUT UP, Dean.”

“Sammy, we're allowed to have fun.” I said seriously turning and pointing at our door, “and believe it or not but kissing a hot girl is FUN.”

Sam huffed crossing his arms glaring down at me in that ridiculous bitchy way of his, “Does fun include getting married?”

I shifted uneasily from foot to foot scratching the back of my head. I really didn't want to get into this with Sam now. I didn't want to tell him like this. “I dunno what you're talking about.”

“I saw the ring on her finger, Dean!” He closed his eyes shaking his head before speaking again, “You know what, whatever it doesn't matter. I found us a hunt here. I was out talking to some locals…..”

“I'm not going on a hunt, Sammy.”

“What? What do you mean you're not going on a hunt?”

“I told you last week I was done with it.”

“You were SERIOUS?”

“YES!”

I wished I could make Sam understand, to see things from my point of view but I just couldn't. He didn't get the fact that I needed to keep Lexi and the baby safe and the only way to do that was for me to stop hunting. My hunting put them in danger. Every time I killed another demon it was like having a big sign stating 'Dean Winchester was here.' It wasn't just the demons I was worried about. I had other hunters gunning for me now along with the Goddamn feds. What else was I supposed to do? I chose the only other option I had. I was going under deep. I had to keep off of the radar. I had just hoped Sammy would've gone with us.

Sam stared at me his hands shoved deep in his pockets. I was just standing there waiting for him to yell at me, I knew it was coming I could tell by the way his lips were now one thin white line.

“I can't believe I'm hearing this! You're a piece of work! You're a HYPOCRITE! You drag me back in this life! I cut off everyone because YOU told me to and after awhile I figured yeah, he's right this is my life! AND NOW YOU WANNA LEAVE?”

“I'm taking a break. How can you ask me to put my kid in danger?”

“You did the same thing to me so don't give me this you're asking me shit!”

“I'm not asking your permission Sammy, I'm telling you. I'm taking a break!”

“Yeah well have fun on your break.”

“I got the feds up my ass! I got freaking demons attacking my girl and I don't know what the hell they want with her! I can't fucking handle this right now!”

“They've been up your ass since St. Louis, before Lexi, and they'll keep on coming even if you take a break.”

“Four months Sammy, that's all I'm asking for here. I got a year man, cut me a break will ya.”

“That's YOUR FAULT! I was dead, you should've left me alone but you're so fucking selfish.”

“You're my brother, I couldn't let you die.”

Sam stepped closer looming over me as he screamed in my face, “WHY? YOU JUST HAD TO BRING ME BACK SO YOU COULD GUILT ME WITH THIS I SOLD MY SOUL SHIT?”

“NO!”

“I only have one year, Sam! I'm in love with her, Sam! I'm having a kid, Sam! Using that shit against me 'I only have one year with them Sam', THAT'S YOUR FAULT! I WAS DEAD!”

I tried to keep my cool but hearing Sam mock me with my own words was just too much. I felt the heat reach my face while I clenched my fists wanting so bad to punch him in the mouth. “YEAH AND I'M LIVING ON BORROWED TIME ANYWAY! I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE RIGHT NOW!”

“OH SO WHAT YOU DO THE SAME FUCKING THING TO ME?”

“I DID IT SO MY LIFE WOULD MEAN SOMETHING! WHAT DID I EVER DO RIGHT SAMMY?”

“I'm not gonna aid your self esteem issues.”

“YOU KNOW WHAT SAM? IF I KNEW SHE WAS PREGNANT I WOULD'VE NEVER MADE THAT DEAL!”

“MAYBE YOU SHOULD LET HER GET A WORD IN EDGEWISE THEN! Knowing Lexi I'm sure she TRIED to tell you. SHE DID DIDN'T SHE? You have no one to blame for this but yourself.”

“I know that.” I stated quietly hanging my head, “I know that, Sammy.”

“I HOPE YOU'RE SORRY, FOR ONCE IN YOUR FUCKING LIFE BE SORRY!”

“WHERE ARE YOU GOING?”

“I'M LEAVING!”

I shook my head trying to make sense of everything, I didn't know what else to say to Sam. No matter what we had just said I didn't want him to leave. “Where is it written that we have to be the god damn heroes?”

“THIS IS MY LIFE!” Sam raged not wanting to listen to what I had to say, “It always has been. I never knew a fucking family. You had that time frame I didn't. I never knew mom, I don't know what the fuck it's like. This is it for me Dean, so you wanna leave fine, but I need this.”

“FINE LEAVE! YOU'RE JUST LIKE DAD!”

“PEOPLE IN GLASS HOUSES MAN….”

“I DID EVERYTHING YOU BOTH EVER ASKED ME TO AND POOF YOU BOTH LEAVE!”

“YOU LEFT ME FIRST! You LEFT me a long fucking time ago!”

“I'm still here!” I screamed waving my arms, “I'm right fucking here!”

“NO YOU'RE NOT! You're with Lexi now.”

“She needs me. Don't you get that?”

“Yeah and I've NEEDED you for the past couple months.” Sam spat, “You slacked off. YOU STEPPED BACK! I almost fucking died so many times it wouldn't be any different if I was by myself.”

“I said I was sorry.”

“SORRY DOESN'T CUT IT! YOU'VE NEVER DONE THAT TO ME BEFORE! You checked out on me a LONG time ago Dean.”

“I'M SORRY I FROZE, SAMMY! WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME UH?”

“I WANT YOU TO GO BACK TO THE ROOM AND PROTECT YOUR GIRL!”

“I just wanna see my kid....I wanna hold my kid that's all I fucking want, Sammy.” I said quietly trying to make him understand this is where I needed to be.

“Then you better get back there uh? There's my cab. I'll see you around Dean.”

I looked Sam directly in the eye stating firmly, “No you won't.”

“You're right, I won't. I'll get you out. Keep her safe in the mean time.”

“Get me out of what? SAMMY!”

I couldn't believe he was gone. Sammy just took off as if none of this mattered. I never wanted it to come to this. I would never just take off on Sam. He was my family and family sticks together. I thought Sammy understood that. I thought he knew that we were stronger together. Guess that all went out the window once I told him I was gonna have a family of my own.

“What's wrong?” Lexi asked getting up off the couch when I came back in the room, “Dean, what happened?”

“Sam's gone!” I snapped kicking the chair that was in front of me, “He called a fucking cab AND HE LEFT!”

“Why?”

“Cause I said I'm not hunting. I told him I wanted four months and he flipped out.”

Lexi scrunched up her face looking confused before asking, “Why would you stop hunting?”

“Because too much shit is happening with you.”

“And you didn't think to ask me or Sam about this?”

“I don't wanna hunt anymore. You want to settle down anyways. I know you do.”

“It's who you are Dean.” She said simply putting her hand on my arm. “And I'm ok with you hunting.”

“My family is who I am and I want a break. I'm TIRED. I've wanted one even before you got knocked up. Sam's just a pissy bitch and now he's gone.”

“You should be with your brother, that's where you belong.”

“No, Lex. I belong here with you and our kid.” I whispered wrapping my arms around her tightly, “I promised you back when you found me that I would protect you. And that's what I'm doing. I'm gonna do whatever it takes to keep you and our baby safe, Lexi. Even if it means I have to stop hunting.”

**Mexico**

**July 23, 2007**

I wish I could've afforded a nice room, I mean it's our wedding night but I just didn't wanna take the chance of using a stolen credit card in Mexico. The room was not that bad with its overstuffed four-poster bed and walls that appeared once to be a bright blue. The room was hot and sticky, the ceiling fans not helping at all; I opened the two sets of large doors that led out onto a private balcony. Even though I was half lit, thanks to a bottle of Jose and a little too much celebrating, I wouldn't dare step foot out there on the decaying wood with its rusted railings. It was one of those places that you knew must've been something when it was new.

I turned when I heard Lexi call my name. She was leaning against one of the posts of the bed in a short emerald green nightgown that made her green eyes stand out even more. Lexi smiled at me, her dimples on full display asking me innocently if I was going to come to bed or not. I smiled back crossing the room quickly, pulling off my shirt and pants before climbing in next to her. Lexi wrapped her arms around me tugging me closer to her while she kissed her way along my jaw line before pressing her lips to the corner of my mouth whispering, _'Dean, make love to me like you did the first time.'_ I simply nodded my head, it had been over three weeks since the last time we had sex, so yeah I wanted her. But, that first time in Ashland was a lifetime ago now. It was different then, Lexi was different. She meant something to me even in the beginning. When I was with her it felt like I wasn't carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders anymore. It took me my whole life to get to that point with another person and I didn't know if I was ready yet to let down those walls for her again.

**Saturday**

**July 1, 2000**

**Ashland, WI**

I grabbed my bag out of the closet emptying the contents onto my bed. I was going on a road trip and for the first time it had nothing to do with hunting. I was taking Lexi down to Madison for a few days to see Motorhead and Black Sabbath. I had to meet her at the diner in fifteen minutes; it was just easier that way. Her father was dead set against her leaving Ashland with me for four days and neither of us wanted to hear his bitching. I took the knife that I kept under my pillow placing it in the bottom of my bag when I felt Sam's eyes on me. “What?”

“Nothing.” Sam smirked at me closing his science book, “Going on a road trip? I gotta say this is a record. I mean you never even stay with anyone longer than one night let alone two months. What's even funnier Dean is that she's still a junior in high school or you know, would be if she hadn't skipped a grade.”

“And your point Sammy?” I snapped throwing my clothes in my duffel bag.

“Just wondering when you're gonna crack. Me and dad have a bet going, try and hold out until next month at least so I can get fifty bucks.”

“What!? You got a bet going on how long before I break up with her?”

“Yeah, or how long until you cheat. Which you know, if she catches you would equal a break up.”

"Fuck you both!"

“Hey, I gave your sorry ass the benefit of the doubt. OH I get it!” Sam smirked coming over and sitting on my bed, “You LOVE her!”

“SHUT UP!” I threw my shaving kit in my bag, I was pissed. Sam and my dad have some nerve betting on how long it was gonna take me to fuck up. That wasn't the only reason why I was pissed. I think Sam was right. Actually, I knew he was right. I don't know exactly what's going on with me but I know it's different. I've never spent more than one night with a girl or even went out on a date. It's been two months now that I've been dating Lexi and I'm not even bored. Hell, I haven't even thought about picking up another chick. “Hey Sammy, you have any condoms I can have?” I raised my eyebrows at him chuckling, “Oh my bad. You don't. You're still a virgin.”

“Your point, Dean?”

“Now I gotta stop at the drug store. You know how I don't like to stop.”

“Not my problem I actually got a future to look forwards to Dean. What the fuck do you have? A sixteen year old who sucks your dick and a lifetime of taking orders. Have fun when dad makes you pack up and leave after I graduate.”

“Yeah geek boy you got a future filled with some vaseline, busty asian and your right hand.”

Sam shrugged looking at me with a smug grin on his face, “I'll find someone when I go to college. Least the girls up there will be experienced.”

“Oh trust me she's experienced, the girl's talented.”

“Good for you. I'd prefer someone who isn't jail bait.”

“She's not jail bait. I checked, she's of legal consenting age in this state. Dude, you're just pissed that I got the girl, AGAIN.”

“Not really, I'll be out of here soon and you'll still be stuck with dad taking orders. Because we all know you're not leaving him.”

“The fuck I'm not.”

“Yeah okay soldier boy. All it takes is one guilt trip and a line about mom and you're back at his side.”

“Don't talk about mom.” I hissed zipping up my duffel and throwing it over my shoulder.

“Oh that's right I can't do that cause you know she wasn't my mom or anything.”

“Shut up!”

“What's wrong Dean? Am I UPSETTING you?” Sam taunted getting off the bed and blocking my path, “Geeze, I am SO sorry that I'm making you mad man. You know maybe I'd actually know more about her if you fucking opened your mouth for once.”

“Don't talk about her like that.”

“Like what? Suddenly wanting to know something about your own mother's a crime? You knew her Dean!”

I looked down not wanting to meet Sam's eyes. I scratched the back of my head whispering, “I've told you since we were kids I don't remember much.”

“Yeah and you're a fucking liar.”

“I was four! What do you want to know, uh? That she baked me cookies? That she used to walk me downtown and take me to the diner for lunch? Uh? Sammy that good enough for you?”

“I just wanna know what it was like.”

“It was better than this.”

“Lots of things are better than this. Wish I could've known her…”

“Me too.” I stated pointing at Sam, “No wild parties while I'm gone and no fighting with dad okay?”

“That's not going to happen second you leave we'll be at each other's throats.”

“Go get laid. Better yet, get drunk, stoned and laid. Later Sammy.”

“Bye.”

**July 1, 2000**

**Pete and Elda's Diner**

Lexi sat at the far end of the counter stirring her milkshake because there was nothing else for her to do while waiting for Dean. He was supposed to be here twenty minutes ago to pick her up. It was her idea; Lexi didn't want to hear her dad bitch about her going to Madison with Dean. In fact, all she wanted to do was to get the hell out of Ashland and have a little fun. She was hoping this would be the weekend they finally had sex. She was beginning to wonder if Meredith and the other waitresses were right.

“He hasn't fucked you yet?” Meredith questioned her as she wiped down the counter, “Maybe he's afraid of getting tossed in jail.”

“No we do other stuff…”

“Lexi, have you ever even had sex before?”

Lexi sighed while she stirred her milkshake never taking her eyes off the red straw, “Technically? No, everything else though...”

“Well then maybe he just doesn't do virgins or he's getting the real sex on the side. Not like it's surprising, Dean isn't exactly the relationship type.”

“Dean's not cheating on me!” Lexi snapped slamming her hand on the cracked white counter top. She was so sick and tired of everyone telling her that Dean was using her or that he was cheating on her. It was getting old real quick.

“Did he actually say you two were in a relationship?”

“Yeah.”

“Huh, well like I said, it's Dean.”

“I trust him.”

“And that's why you're gonna get hurt.” Meredith stated simply pointing at Lexi, “Never trust him, hell never trust anyone but especially not him. Dean's got the standards of an alley cat and if he's still with you and he's not fucking you - then he must be getting it somewhere else.”

Lexi stared down at her hands intently. She thought about what Meredith had just said. Hell, she wasn't the first one to tell her these things. She knew she shouldn't trust Dean but she did. She trusted him with her life and she couldn't explain why. It was like she's known him forever and being with him just felt right. Of course, if she said these things out loud to Meredith and the others they would just laugh at her and tell her to stop being a schoolgirl. Truth was, they didn't know Dean like she did. Underneath all that swagger of his was a broken guy that was just as needy as everyone else.

“Hey Lex. You ready?”

“Hey.” She whispered nodding her head. “Yeah, I'm ready Dean.”

“What's wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“You sure?” I asked her slipping my arm around her waist. She just nodded her head as I took her bag out of her hand, “Okay, come on lets get going then.”

We drove in silence for a good forty-five minutes. I figured if Lexi didn't wanna talk I wasn't going to make her. It was just weird, Lexi was never quiet she was always going on about something. I felt like I should say something but I didn't know what. I was never good with words.

“Is there something wrong with me?” Lexi blurted out changing the radio station, “Or are you getting it somewhere else?”

I raised my eyebrows as I turned to look at her, “So **THAT'S** what this is about?”

“I don't like being toyed with.”

“I'm not toying with you.”

“Yeah okay. Then why haven't you fucked me yet? You're the one that stops every damn time! You afraid I'm gonna tell my parents? That they'll have you locked up? What is it? Me? Just tell me what is!”

“It's nothing!”

“No it's something. You slept with all those skanks but you wont even...” she said softly turning to look out the passenger window.

“Whatever. I fucked 'em cause they're easy. It didn't mean shit.”

“It's cause I told you isn't it? I don't do anything I don't wanna do Dean. If I didn't want to I wouldn't have told you to take me somewhere and I wouldn't have gone to that sleazy motel with you.”

“You're gonna love this concert.”

“Don't change the subject. Be honest with me. I need to know where I stand with you.”

“You're here aren't you?”

“It's not good enough. Don't you get it? I….maybe I like you a little too much.”

“Maybe you do.” I said softly rubbing her thigh and smiling at her, “I'm not complaining.”

She jerked away from me, her eyebrows knotted together, “Drop the cryptic. Or whatever this is ends now.”

“Wait. You're pissed off because I won't fuck you? Did it ever occur to you that maybe I'm taking it slow because you're different? That I don't see you as just another piece of ass? That clear enough for you, Lex?”

“But you were going to on our first date.”

“No I wasn't! You wanted to and you were shitfaced. I wasn't gonna take advantage of you like that okay!”

“I let the v word slip and you've been weird ever since.”

“I've never been with a virgin before. Hell, I've never even been with one person longer than a fucking night EXCUSE ME IF I'M A LITTLE WEIRD!”

“You don't complain when I have your dick in my mouth.”

“Not the same and don't tell me it is cause you don't know. You've never had sex, you don't get the difference.”

“I don't need to take it slow. I know what I want. Funny you're the one that's scared.”

I huffed shaking my head before looking over at her, “You THINK you don't need to take it slow. And I don't want you to regret it alright?”

“You afraid you're gonna feel something Dean?” Lexi questioned me with a small smirk pulling at the corners of her mouth.

“No!”

“I've been ready for awhile just hadn't met the right guy.”

“You think I'm the right....” I glanced over at her my eyebrow raised and then back to the road shaking my head, “Uh huh. I'm not talking about this anymore.” Lexi moved away from the passenger door, pressed herself against me and then rested her head on my shoulder. I sighed pushing her away slightly, “Get off.”

“Is it that I'm jail bait or that you feel something?”

“It's mind your own business.”

“No.” She smirked rubbing my inner thigh in small circles, “It is my business.”

“Huh, now there's something you can do with that big mouth of yours.” I grinned reaching over and tangling my fingers in her hair while pushing her head down playfully, “Hell of a lot more productive.”

“Why should I?” She snapped as she jerked out of my grasp.

“If it gets you to be quiet I'm all for it. You're worse than Sammy.”

“Everyone's slept with my boyfriend but me.”

“Whatever, I never dated any of 'em so just think of that.”

Lexi sighed and ran her fingers down my arm before mumbling, “I love you.”

I nearly choked. I must be hearing things. I looked at her my eyes wide, “What?”

“I love you.”

“Huh, well uh…..”

“You don't have it say it. I'm pretty sure you do and I just scared you away. Way to go Lexi.”

**July 3, 2000**

We left the concert two days early. It wasn't because we weren't having a good time, hell we had a blast but we had already seen the bands we wanted to. So, we packed up and headed back to Ashland besides I figured Sammy would be happy to have me back earlier then expected.

“Why are we getting off the interstate?” Lexi asked me pulling a face, “I thought we were going home.”

“We are this is a short cut.”

“Dean, I've seen enough horror movies to know you never get off the main road.”

“Yeah well this isn't a horror movie."

“Something bad always happens…” Lexi sing songed tilting her head to the side, “If it was a horror movie you would totally bite it and I'd survive cuz the virgin always outsmarts the psycho killer. You sure you know where you're going? We're in the middle of nowhere.”

“I know what I'm doing. Trust me.”

“I don't wanna get stuck out here.”

“You won't.”

**An Hour Later**

“God Damnit!”

Of course this was happening. The car decides to break down in the middle of nowhere forcing me to eat my words to Lexi. I was never gonna live this one down. I pulled over trying to act like nothing was wrong but God damn it she knew.

“What happened? You didn't run out of gas did you? I told you to stay on the interstate!”

“Relax, it's not like this hasn't happened to me before I'll handle it.”

Lexi looked at me her eyebrow raised, “Can you fix it?”

“Of course I can fix it.” I snorted, “I know this car inside out.”

“Okay that's creepy. You sound like you're talking about someone you've fucked.”

I ignored her getting out of the car and popping the hood. It wasn't like I've never had to fix my baby before this was cake. We'd be back on the road in an hour or so I thought.

“Don't drink all my beer.” I snapped slamming the hood closed.

“Why?”

“Cause I don't have the right part.”

“Told ya not to get off the interstate!” Lexi smirked at me in her you're dumb as shit way.

I pointed at her trying not to smile, “Shush.”

“What are we going to do? Sleep in the car?”

“Looks like it. It's not so bad.”

“Didn't you bring that big sleeping bag?” Lexi asked her green eyes lit up mischievously.

I nodded heading to get the sleeping bag out of the trunk, “Works for me."

**Three Hours Later**

We set up camp in the woods building a fire and just hanging out drinking. I hate camping but I had to admit this wasn't so bad. For one thing, Lex is way better company than my old man and baby brother. And it had nothing to do with the fact that she's a hot chick wearing nothing but a flimsy tank top and shorts or that we were all alone in the middle of nowhere.

“Ya know they got a pool going on at work.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yesss,” Lexi slurred pointing her beer bottle at me, “to see when you dump me.”

“That's nice.” I laughed slipping my arm around her waist.

She hiccuped waving her beer bottle around, “They're stumped on why you're dating a school girl.”

“Me too.”

“That's not niiiccce. I thought you liked me. You're the only thing I like in that shitty town.”

“I do like you.” I stated giving her a squeeze, “I'm here with you.”

Lexi nodded her head as she stared down into her bottle of beer. She turned to me her eyebrow raised, “Where do go on all the those trips with your dad?”

“Places.”

“Uh huh, what do you do?”

“Don't worry about it.”

“Come on I told you all bout Lexi, now you tell me all bout Dean. I won't tell anyone cross my heart.”

“You don't need to worry about it.”

“Dean, I just wanna know about you. Why is that such a bad thing?”

I sighed as I stared at her. I wanted to tell her but she would never believe me. “You wouldn't believe me if I told you.”

“Try me.” Lexi stated simply putting her hand on my arm, “Dean, I'm not going anywhere.”

“Okay, you really want to know?” She nodded her head yes. It was now or never. I took a deep breath biting down on my lip before speaking. “I hunt things. Spirits, ghosts you know? All that shit your parents tell you aren't real, things in the dark. I've seen things you can't even imagine.”

“Seriously? That stuff's real?”

“Yeah, changelings, werewolves, ghosts, demons. It's all real and I kill them. That's where we go, me and my dad.”

“How do you kill them?”

“Depends on what it is. Demons, you can't kill. Spirits, usually we gotta salt and burn the bones or some object that's connected to them, sometimes both.”

“I see makes sense. So you save people?” Lexi smiled at me gently running her hand up my arm, “That's sexy as hell. Who would've thought you're actually one of the good guys.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You help people right? That makes you a good guy. All I've heard about you was what a bad guy you were and how you were bad news.”

“I just fuck around a lot, that's why they think I'm a bad guy.”

“You gonna bolt the minute you get what you want?”

“I don't think so.”

“I hope not, I really like you.”

I couldn't take my eyes off her smooth tan legs as she stretched and at the moment all I could think about was how I wanted to feel them wrapped around my waist. She moved differently, relaxed. Her movements were subtle and easy, even the way she swung her hips slightly when she walked seemed effortless. It was as if she didn't have a care in the world. She kicked off her sandals before climbing into the sleeping bag turning to smile at me, “C'mere.”

She didn't have to tell me twice. I got in next to her trying to play it cool but the smell of her perfume was driving me crazy. I wanted her so bad and normally I wouldn't have hesitated but she had my head all turned around.

“You smell like beer.” She whispered nipping my ear.

“Yeah?” I laughed kissing her throat, “Well I was drinking beer.”

Lexi lay on her side running her hand up my chest slowly, “You have way too many clothes on…..”

“What do you want me to take off?”

She paused for a moment chewing on her bottom lip and pretending to think hard, “Um everything.”

I laughed as she nuzzled my neck. She sure wasn't shy I'd give her that. “Not into subtlety?”

“Nope.”

“Hey that's cool. Not fair though, I'm not gonna be the first one naked.”

“Hmm why not? You're not shy are you? It's not like I haven't seen it.”

“No I'm not shy. You're not drunk are you?”

“Not drunk...just feel good.”

“I'm still not gonna be the first one naked. I'm serious.”

“That's right you like to call the shots.” She laughed deep and throaty teasing me, “So take charge.”

“I'll take charge when you're naked.”

“You tugging at my clothes is half the fun.”

“You getting naked is MORE fun, Lex.”

“No…” she whispered her cheeks flushing pink.

“You gonna get naked first?”

“Why me?”

“Cause I'm NOT gonna be the first one naked. We can take turns, as long as you're naked first. You take off a shirt, I take off a shirt.” I smirked as she slowly took off her top tossing it at me. We took turns and I was definitely enjoying the show. Everything was fine until she was down to her bra and panties. She looked at me, her face turning a deep shade of red as she bit her bottom lip. “Where's your bravado, Lex?” I raised my eyebrow at her somewhat disappointed, “If you don't want to it's fine. I'm not gonna hold it against you.”

“I want to…”

“You sure?”

“Yeah…Just don't hurt me.”

“I'm not gonna hurt you. Okay?” I said softly running my hands up and down her sides.

“Okay.”

“It's your turn.”

“Dean...”

I grumbled taking off the rest of my clothes and making sure to tell Lexi that I would deny it to my last day that she got me naked first. She smiled slightly telling me she didn't kiss and tell and I know what a crock of shit that is. I've said that to every girl I've been with but I told every time. “Lex, c'mon. It's just me.”

She looked away from me taking off the rest of her clothes her face flushed. I couldn't help the shit-eating grin that was pulling at the corners of my mouth. Lexi looked at me jerking the sleeping bag up to cover herself when she realized I was staring at her.

“You're all talk. You need to relax.”

“I'm nervous.”

I was nervous too and fuck I'm never nervous when it comes to sex. But, this girl, I dunno it was like she'd worked some hoodoo love spell over me. I've wanted her so bad for the past two months. And now the only thing I could think about was how she would feel all wrapped around me. I looked down at her, my eyes locking onto hers, that's when I realized how young she really was. She was scared and tense, she needed to relax. “Well chill out, it's just me. I wanna see you and you're just digging your way into this sleeping bag.” I reached over moving the sleeping bag gently away from her as I took a moment to look at her. I swallowed hard realizing this is the first time I've ever seen her naked. “You're so fucking hot, Lex. You got any idea on how much you work me up, baby girl?”

Lexi bit down on her lip and shook her head 'No.' as I rolled on top of her straddling her thighs. I took my time exploring her smooth bare skin, hands sliding up to cup her perfect breasts. I rubbed my palms in slow circles over her breasts until her nipples were firm little peaks. She arched up into my hands saying my name over and over in breathy little moans. I leaned in, needing to taste her, my tongue darting out to lick a broad swipe over her right nipple.

“Dean....”

“Hmm?”

“Don't be a fucking tease.” Lexi panted as her fingers gripped the back of my head guiding me down to her breast. “I don't like to be teased.”

“I'm not teasing. I'm just warming you up.” I said before closing my mouth around her left nipple letting my teeth skim across the hard bud. Lexi moaned, her hips pushing up against mine and I wanted more of her, I needed to have more of her. I slid my hand between her legs slipping one finger inside her, then a second before thrusting and twisting them slowly. Lexi eyes fluttered shut while soft moans escaped her lips. “Hmmm, that's it baby girl.” I whispered pinching her nipple, “C'mon I wanna hear you.” God she was so tight and wet and her little moans were driving me crazy. I just wanted her to let go and enjoy the ride. “Ride them, Lex.”

“What?”

“Ride them.” I stated firmly thrusting my fingers harder and pinching her clit with my other hand, “Just let go. Let me hear you.”

Lexi clenched the sleeping bag beneath her arching her back and panting, “Oh….oh GOD.”

“That's it, louder baby.”

“OOOH fuck…..DEAN!”

I watched her as I slid a third finger in her, massaging her clit in slow circles until she was riding my fingers without coaxing. She bit her bottom lip, her breath hitching while I picked up the pace. I rubbed the pad of my thumb faster over her clit causing her to gasp and shudder. Lexi slammed down onto my hand one last time before clenching around my fingers and crying out my name.

I crawled up over her body after Lexi came. Pressing my forehead to hers, I couldn't help but stare. She looked beautiful with flushed cheeks and bright green eyes. I brushed a stray lock of hair from her cheek before kissing her slow and deep. It was taking all of my self-control not to pound into her right then and there. I pulled back whispering, “You sure you wanna do this? We don't have to.....we can stop right now.”

“I'm sure but um do you have....”

“Yeah, in my jeans pocket.” I reached for my jeans digging in the back pocket for my wallet and pulled out the three pack strip. Lexi eyed me wearily and I threw her a shrug and my best smile. I tore one off and stuffed the other two in my wallet before leaning down to give her a kiss. I could feel how tense she was and for a brief second I thought about putting a stop to this. I mean I'm supposed to be the adult here, I'm twenty one and she's only sixteen but I didn't care. She was of consenting age, I looked it up. Truth was, I didn't want to stop, I wanted her and I knew she wanted me too. She watched me with wide nervous eyes as I ripped the condom open and slid it on. “Tell me if I hurt you and I'll stop. Okay, Lex?”

“Okay.”

I began kissing Lexi to relax her as I took my cock in one hand and slowly began to slide inside her. She gasped against my mouth, eyes wide, nails digging into my biceps. I pulled back biting my lip, she was so fucking tight and slick, it was taking all my self-control not to flip her onto her stomach and slam into her. Closing my eyes, I pressed my forehead to hers trying to control my breathing before asking, “You good?”

“Yeah...”

That was all the permission I needed from her. I pulled myself onto my knees taking her legs up with me, resting one on each shoulder. I slid my hands down to her hips, gripping them firmly as I leaned down towards her. Lexi's hands immediately flew up to grab my arms, clinging to me as I began thrusting slowly. I couldn't take my eyes off hers as I continued to thrust slow and deep into her. She moved underneath me, pressing her hips up against mine in time with my thrusts, her hands moving up and down my back. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” I grunted digging my fingers into her hips while I pushed harder and faster into her, “You're so damn tight......God damn you feel so fucking good.”

“Dean....harder.....” She said in a whispering little moan while her eyes fluttered closed, “Please. Fuck me harder, Dean.”

I nodded tightening my hold on her hips and lifted them slightly off the ground for better leverage. I picked up the pace taking her hard and fast. She trembled and whimpered my name beneath me as I continued to roll and grind my hips faster. I could tell she was close. I wanted to feel her come, feel her muscles clenching all tight around my dick. I knew it wouldn't take much. I slid my fingers down between us to rock against her clit. Her nails dug into my back, hips bucking up against mine. I moved my fingers faster as I ploughed roughly into her. “OH FUCK.....DEAN....OH GOD....” Her whole body shook underneath me, her back arching up causing me to moan her name while she tightened around me.

I almost lost it when she came, muscles spasming and clenching around my dick. I pressed my weight down against Lexi pinning her under me while I readjusted her legs. I took her legs off my shoulders spreading them open further and pushing them down onto her chest. I pulled all the way out and slammed back into her in one thrust setting up a harsh pace. She met me thrust for thrust, taking everything I gave her. “Fuck, Lexi.” I moaned speeding up the pace, “You're so fucking tight. Feel so fucking good. Fuck.”

It wasn't long before my hips began to stutter and my body to shake. Three more hard thrusts into her and I was done. I collapsed on top of her wrapping my arms around her and burying my face against the soft skin of her neck. We stayed like that, wrapped up in each others arms until I got my breathing under control. I pulled back brushing my lips softly against hers, “You ok? I didn't hurt you did I?”

“No.” She smiled lazily at me, “I'm more than ok, Dean.”

**Later that night**

“Wow.” She whispered for what felt like the hundredth time propping up on her elbow as she smiled at me, “Is it always like that?”

“If you're with someone good yeah.”

“Wow.”

“Now who's monosyllabic?” I laughed brushing Lexi's hair off her cheek, “Wait. Did you think it wasn't gonna be good?”

“No, it's not that. I didn't think it would be THAT good.”

“Yeah well…”

“Hmm Dean, can we do it again?” I smiled at her rolling on top of her and slipping my hand between her legs. She shifted under my weight spreading her legs wider and pulling them up against my sides. I laughed, nipping and kissing her throat while I worked my index and middle fingers inside of her. “OH fuck, Dean.”

With the pad of my thumb, I rubbed slow circles against her clit, thrusting and curling my index and middle fingers, “Damn baby girl, you’re so wet.” I added a third finger fucking all three harder into her as she rubbed herself against my hand, “You love this don't you?”

“You know I do but I want more than your fingers.”

I smirked at her thinking of all the wicked things I was gonna teach her, “Is that so? What do you want baby girl? Tell me.”

“I want your dick inside me.”

That statement alone made my dick harden. I groaned biting down on my lip and drove my fingers harder and faster into her. I leaned down kissing her until she came, my mouth swallowing up her moans. I pulled back brushing her light brown hair off her flushed face, “Hmmm. You're already a slut for it. I love that but we can't do it anymore tonight. We did it three times already and I'm out of condoms.”

“Dean....c'mon....” She whined pressing herself up against my dick, “fuck me again.”

I laughed kissing the top of her head before rolling off her. “We have all summer to fuck.” I whispered leaning down to lick at her nipple, “Hmmm gonna do all sorts of wicked things to you.....teach you some new tricks....”

“Like what?” She whispered arching up against my mouth, “Different positions? Something kinky?”

“Hmm hmm for starters.....gonna eat you out till you're screaming maybe even tie you up and spank you. Would you like that? I bet you'd be a good little submissive bottom for me.”

“Oh fuck yeah.”

“Ok, we'll try whatever you want but not tonight. You're gonna be sore as hell tomorrow.” I gathered her up in my arms pulling her flush with my chest, “Besides I'm tired.....ya know what they say too much of a good thing......”

It was just as good as I thought it would be. Hell, it was incredible. It just wasn't sex this time, when I looked into Lexi's eyes I felt it. It was different and I don't know how to put it into words. This time it wasn't about getting off, there was a connection. For the first time in my life I actually made love to a girl. Me, of all people. There was never any emotion before this; it was just the simple fact of needing to blow off some steam. I've always been the fuck and run guy, ya know gone by morning, never see me again type. Not this time. I didn't wanna run from her. I wanted to bury my face in her hair and tell her that I loved her too. I didn't though; instead I pulled her into my arms and held her close to me. I wasn't sure what I was feeling and I didn't know how to explain it. All I knew was that I wanted to protect her and be with her.

**Mexico**

**July 23, 2007**

I must've dosed off afterwards because when I woke up the light was on and Lexi was no longer in my arms. I rubbed my eyes with the heel of my left hand, instinctively reaching for Lexi with my right. I snaked my arm around her pulling her close to me so that I could bury my face in her light brown hair.

“What's wrong, baby girl?” I mumbled into her hair before she twisted out of my arms.

“You haven't called me that in forever…...”

“Yeah, well you know me not real big on words.”I smirked propping up on my elbow and letting my fingertips slowly trail down her bare back, “I'm all about actions and you talk enough for the both of us. What's wrong?”

“It's nothing Dean.” Lexi whispered her back to me as she shrugged slightly, “Its just weird thinking that I'm Mrs. Dean Winchester and I can't ever use that name. I mean our child won't be able to use their real name. How are we gonna explain all this to him or her, uh? What are we supposed to say, Dean? That daddy's a wanted serial killer but don't worry he doesn't kill people just ghosts, demons and monsters? Why can't we just be normal?”

“Why the hell do you wanna be normal?”

“There's nothing wrong with being normal and it would be a hell of a lot easier. We wouldn't have to lie to our kid.”

I snorted shaking my head not really believing what I was hearing. Lexi always hated normal and the perfect little suburban life, this had to be that nesting thing I read about online. “Yeah there is because neither one of us is normal. Face it Lex, we're not the Brady's.”

“I didn't say I want to be the Brady's, Dean.” She stated simply finally turning to look at me, “I want stable. I want a normal routine.”

“Ok, you're not exactly a Stepford either.” I joked raising my eyebrows trying to get her to drop the subject.

“Yeah and what happens when Henricksen finally catches you? What happens when you're put away for life or worse you get the death penalty?”

“C'mere.” I whispered pulling her securely against my chest, “That's not gonna happen, ever. I'll always be here to protect you and our kid, I swear. You're my family nothing's more important than that, Lex.”

They say everything happens for a reason, I never bought into that line until now. How else can I explain what's happened in my life? With all the pain and death there HAS to be a reason, this all can't be for nothing. These thoughts and feelings that torture my brain cannot just be for the hell of it because then what's the point? What's the point in tearing my family apart not once but twice?

I finally have something that gives me peace of mind, and I know it can be gone in the blink of an eye. Lexi is the one thing that keeps me grounded. After a hunt I get to come back to something real, something soft and warm that I can wrap my arms around and forget the horrible thing I had just killed. Maybe my father was right, maybe I should've never let myself get close to her. If I hadn't I wouldn't be in the position that I am in today. I ran my hands slowly through her long hair, feeling guilty for not being able to tell her everything. How can I tell her that I only have nine months left? All I know for sure is that I don't wanna go to hell; I want to stay here with her. I tightened my grip around her, my eyes burning with tears. I nuzzled my face against her neck breathing in the sweet smell of her skin before choking out, “I love you.”

**The next morning**

I woke up early the next morning feeling relived. For the first time since Sam left I didn't feel guilty. Did I miss him? Yeah I did. Was I gonna sit here and second guess myself? Hell no. This is where I need to be at the moment, I knew that. I'll be back to hunting again in a few months, for now I was going to be normal. Funny, me, normal. So being on my normal kick, I decided to get up, go out and scrounge us up some coffee and breakfast. I was gone a half-hour, forty-five minutes at the most but of course all hell broke loose while I was out. At first I thought nothing of the people running out of the hotel until I realized the whole damn building was shaking. If it wasn't an earthquake, it could only be one thing, Lexi.

I threw open the door to our room my mouth dropping open in shock, “LEXI! Low profile! Do you know what the words low profile mean?”

“Yes I know what it means!”

“Then what the hell is this?”

“They started it! What am I supposed to do? Let them kill me?”

“Dead demons is not low profile!”

“No shit Sherlock!” She snapped before scrunching up her face and chewing on her bottom lip, “Ya know what you said before about tracking powers? I think you were right.”

“Come on, let's get our stuff and get the hell out of dodge.”

I realized after the demon attack that we weren't safe anywhere. It didn't matter where we were they would find us. It just wasn't demons I was worried about it was the Feds and the other hunters too. I sighed studying the map trying to decide where we could go. New Orleans, Ashland, New York City and anywhere in Kansas were out. Everyone would expect us to go to one of those places. Back road small towns were out too. They all knew that was my stomping ground. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks, the one place they'd least expect us to go. Neither one of us ever spent anytime there, we had no ties to it. California, it was perfect, Henricksen would never think we'd go there.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

**Lemon Grove, CA**

**July 31, 2007**

**Dean's POV**

I looked up at the modest two-story brick house in front of me that was now going to be my home. Home. That was a foreign word to me. I haven't had a home since I was four. It was decent enough though. The house had a porch and a big front lawn, the fenced in back yard was big as well with a couple of fruit trees in the middle. I followed Lexi and the realtor inside half listening as they talked about the neighborhood and the school system. The realtor, Linda, kept saying the place needed work while showing us around. It didn't look half bad to me compared to the back road motels I was used to staying in. Hell it had two bathrooms, a laundry room and something called a mudroom, whatever the hell that was. It looked like a good place to a raise a kid; there was lots of room for them to run around out back. I only hoped that Lexi and me could just blend in here.

"Well, Mr. Mills?" Linda asked me raising an eyebrow when I didn't answer her right away, "David, what do you think?"

I rubbed the back of neck before speaking, not wanting to give her any reasons to doubt who we were claiming to be, "Well, um if my wife, Tracy, here likes it we'll take it."

Lexi nodded smiling at me, "It's perfect for us."

"Okay," Linda stated with one of those huge fake smiles on her face, "I already ran your credit history and everything looks good. All I need David is for you and Tracy to sign the lease and to give the first and last month's rent."

"Sounds good." I said pulling out my wallet and handing over the 1,500. "When can we move in?"

"How's tomorrow?" Linda asked handing me the keys, "I'll have someone over here later today to clean it."

I nodded turning the first house keys I've ever had over in my hand, "That's fine with me."

**Two Weeks Later**

Lexi looked around the tiny little living room her hands on hips. She was bored. Everything was unpacked and put away where it belonged, not like they had much anyway. She sighed as she sat on the couch trying to think of something else she could do. She couldn't go very far since Dean had taken the car to his job at the garage so shopping was out. She eyed her cell phone that was sitting on the coffee table with interest. Should she call her? It wasn't like Jackie was going to run to the FBI and turn her and Dean in. She snatched her phone off the table opening it and stared at the display before her fingers rapidly punched in the number.

"Hey Jackie."

"Lexi?"

"Yeah, it's me."

"What's up?"

"Um can you meet me somewhere?"

"Where?" Jackie asked as she jotted down the address Lexi gave her. "Uh, today? Wait, what the hell are you doing out in Lemon Grove?"

"Just come here, Jackie!"

"Alright, gimmie an hour."

**A Few Hours Later**

**Dean's POV**

I pulled into the driveway eying the strange beat up green civic that was parked in front of the house. I got out making sure to lock the Impala's doors before heading inside. I stopped, my key in the door lock and turned back to look at the ugly lime car hoping if Sam was here he would have better taste in stolen cars.

I tossed my keys on the small table by the door as I did every day when I came home from work. I heard voices coming from the living room while I hung up my jacket, I called for Lexi a little on edge because there wasn't supposed to be anyone here but her, "LEXI, BABY GIRL, where are...oh Jackie….."

"Oh no, you're not a sap at all!" Jackie laughed loud and throaty.

"Hey…" I mumbled my face red, shifting while rubbing the back of my neck.

"C'mere you ass."

"You're not gonna hit me are you?" I questioned her as she shook her head no and laughed. It wouldn't surprise me at all if she decked me. I hadn't spoken to her since the day I left New Orleans. She had to be pissed off about that.

Jackie was Lexi's best friend in college and to say me and her started out on the wrong foot is an understatement. When I first met her at the Halloween party I though she was just a frigid lesbian bitch. You know the type that hates all men cuz they have a dick. Well, that's what I had her pegged as at first. She kept glaring at me while she threw her snide remarks my way. About a week or so later I was back in New Orleans. I moved my stuff into Lexi's apartment. I mean I really wasn't living there if I just crashed between hunts right? Well, that's what I told myself anyway. That's when I realized this Jackie chick had to be a demon. She had wormed her way into Lexi's life. She asked a lot of questions, typical demon behavior you know. But what had me totally convinced was how she reacted to me during their American Folklore class.

I was kinda interested. I mean they actually taught this shit in college? Guess my dad was wrong there were some useful things being taught at college. So, I tagged along with them and listened to their professor go on and on about Werewolves until I couldn't take it anymore. I loved Werewolves and had taken one out when I was younger. They were badass and this idiot was confusing them with Wendigos. I just had to set him straight. Jackie stared at me smirking when I finished my little lesson stating, 'Uh, you act like you've actually seen one. Next time bring me back a paw or something.' I followed her that night waiting patiently for her to come out of the tattoo parlor. Let's just say after I attacked her and threatened to send her ass back to hell where she belonged we became good friends.

I walked over to her dragging my feet along the dark brown carpet. Jackie smiled up at me nudging my side with her arm, "What's up, Ace?"

"You can see what's up." I stated motioning towards Lexi, "Unless you think she just got fat."

"Quit being such a fucking dick." Jackie snapped, "This is me not some damn stranger so cut your ice queen crap cause I'm not putting up with it."

"Whatever." I rolled my eyes at Jackie sitting next to Lexi on the couch with one arm around her shoulders and the other rubbing her stomach. I kissed her temple before asking her how she was feeling.

Lexi scrunched up her face trying to wiggle out of my grasp, "Fine, a little tired though."

"You sure?" I questioned her not bothering to hide the concern in my voice while she continued to yawn.

"Dean it's nothing, I'm tired. I had a hard time sleeping last night because your son was moving around SO much."

"Then go lay down and I'll take care of dinner."

"Just go to sleep Lex before he starts bitching and has a stroke." Jackie stated simply while throwing a smirk my way.

"You don't mind Jackie?"

"Not really, it's not like I've never talked to him before."

Lexi nodded saying goodbye to Jackie and making sure to tell me not to burn down the kitchen. I grabbed my cigarettes out of my pocket the moment I heard our bedroom door close. I leaned my head against the couch taking a deep drag muttering to myself, "I should quit."

"I was just gonna say." Jackie laughed taking a drag off her own cigarette, "Surprised you're still doing it what with Lexi and all."

"I don't smoke around her, not good for the kid. I go outside."

"That's sweet….."

"You wanna drink?" I asked jumping off the couch heading towards the kitchen, "I need a drink."

Jackie smirked at me taking the bottle of Jack out of my hand pouring us each a glass, "My hero!"

"I don't like drinking alone."

"No it's never as much fun. You only drink alone if you're depressed."

"I'm not depressed."

"Did I say that, Ace?"

"Didn't say you did." I snapped staring down into the bottom of my drink, "Every thing's peachy keen."

"I see that." She said simply arching her eyebrow at me as her eyes darted around the living room that was littered with boxes of baby furniture that I needed to put together, "Can't believe you're not hunting anymore. You're a regular Buddy Holly."

"It's a break, too much shit's been going down and I'm not gonna put Lex and our kid in danger. There's more important things to me now."

"Right."

"Lex wasn't too thrilled about me not hunting."

"You know deep down she was probably happy with your decision, just look at her face."

I shrugged slightly hoping Jackie was right about this, "I think she's happy to have a soft bed and real food."

"That's always nice." Jackie nodded a huge smile breaking out on her face, "I just got back from a tour last month."

"Tour uh?"

"Man it's totally awesome but then you hit that four month mark and you're tired, nothing makes sense and you just wanna be back home."

"Yeah I understand that. Two years of back roads, cheap motels and diners...felt like I was in ground hogs day. Then, I walk into this roadhouse in Nebraska and first thing I'm told is there's some hot chick hustling pool looking for me. I wasn't expecting for all this to happen. I figured I'd help her with whatever the job was, bang her and move on. Didn't work out that way."

"It's never that easy with people from your past."

"Yeah well, I wasn't ya know expecting all those….." I paused downing the rest of my drink before finishing, "feelings to come back."

"Yeah I know, believe me I know."

We fell into an easy silence, just drinking and smoking. It felt like old times back in New Orleans. I rubbed the back of my neck darting my eyes around the living before refilling our glasses. "It's weird being regular Joe Schmo working nine to five."

"Does it feel right?" Jackie questioned me arching her eyebrow in that Jackie way while sliding off the loveseat onto the dark brown carpet in one fluid motion.

"I feel like right now this is where I need to be if that's what you mean."

She nodded, helping herself to another one of my camels and taking a deep drag, "Yeah that's what I mean."

"It's not like this gig isn't without its perks." I grinned joining her on the floor and plucking the cigarette from her fingers to steal a drag. I leaned back against the couch closing my eyes trying not to let it show how much I missed our little conversations.

"If I had a nickel for every time I heard you say that…" Jackie chuckled shoving my shoulder slightly.

"What? I get to come home to my beautiful wife, have home cooked meals, sleep in a bed that doesn't have scratchy sheets, wake up in the morning next to her, have sex then go to work. Not bad if you ask me."

"It's chauvinistic males like you that will forever put me off of dating."

"How is that chauvinistic? ENLIGHTEN me."

"Well, if we were still living in the year 1955 then no it's not chauvinistic at all. It's the typical I'm the male. I'm the provider. You stay home, cook, clean and when I want to fuck you I will fuck you. The wife is simply put a human incubator and live in maid."

I shook my head raising my eyebrows at her. Only Jackie would be able to find a sexist undertone to me saying I loved being with Lexi. "I didn't say that!"

"It's exactly what you said. You work, you come home, she has dinner on the table, you sleep, you wake up, you fuck her and then you go to work again. Oh, and she's already got the incubator part down so, you know." She stated smiling at me in that 'I know everything and your dumb as a doornail way.' She always knew how to push my buttons and I fell for it every time.

"That's NOT what I said!"

"No I'm just retelling exactly what you told me. You're so not a modern man. Why do you feel like you have to explain yourself to me?"

That was a good question, not like I was going to give her the real answer. I wasn't that drunk yet. I studied my hands not wanting to meet her eyes. "You're always making me out to be a bad guy."

"I didn't say you were bad. I said you were chauvinistic. There's a difference. Why do you care what I think anyways?"

"I'm not chauvinistic."

We fell back into silence, or actually I did. What was the point in saying anything when she was just gonna twist my words around anyway? I usually didn't give a damn what people thought of me, Jackie fell into the same category for me as Lexi, Sammy and Bobby did. With Jackie I didn't have to hide who I really was. She accepted that I was as much of a fucked up freak as she was. The three of us, me, Lexi and Jackie, could sit on the living room floor not saying anything and just drink. There was an unspoken rule among us, none of us had to talk if we didn't want to. Jackie was like the sister I never had.

"Why'd you give me that stupid ice queen treatment when you first walked in?"

I shifted uncomfortably rubbing my neck mumbling, "I didn't know you were here."

"Baby girl!" Jackie mocked me laughing in my face, "Don't worry, Ace. I promise not to give you TOO much shit for it!"

"Shut up!"

"It's nice talking to you again." She stated taking another drag before tilting her head to the side staring at me, "Why'd you stop calling?"

"Cuz you're a bitch."

"You were pissed that I told her weren't you?"

"UH, YEAH!"

"So what you just cut me off for two years? Not even a fuck you I'm not your friend anymore?" Jackie asked trying to act like it didn't really bother her.

"I thought my not calling would tell you that."

"Yeah well my mistake for thinking you'd have the balls to say it yourself."

"Whatever." I snapped putting out my cigarette in the overflowing ashtray, "I didn't owe you shit."

**New Orleans**

**August 2005**

Lexi breezed into the apartment her arms full of moving supplies. She headed towards the back bedroom she shared with Dean stopping in her tracks when she noticed Jackie sitting on the couch quietly.

"I have to talk to you, Lex. Sit down."

"Jackie, I have so much to do. I mean I still have all my clothes to pack up before I go to Columbia…"

"Will you just sit down? You're not gonna like this."

"Then don't tell me."

"Oh yeah that's cute, Lex. Live in fucking ignorance." Jackie took a deep breath knowing full well she was about to make Lexi's whole world crash, "He's cheating on you."

Lexi laughed nervously staring at Jackie. She sat down shaking her head realizing Jackie wasn't lying to her, "No."

"Yeah, Lex. He left his phone here…..some calls came in and um there's text messages…"

"No, Dean wouldn't." She whispered the color draining from her face, "He wouldn't."

"He would, he did."

"You're wrong."

"Look at his phone if you don't believe me." Jackie stated simply handing her Dean's phone.

Lexi turned the phone over in her hands. She didn't need to look; deep down she knew Jackie was telling her the truth. It was her biggest fear; she always knew this was going to happen. It was like waiting for the other shoe to drop, it just took six years.

"Did you fuck him behind my back too?" Lexi snapped glaring at her best friend.

"What? Are you SERIOUSLY gonna come at me with that shit? I never wanted your fucking boyfriend!"

"Yeah cuz nothing happened when you two went to that concert together right? I bet you got a real good laugh! Stupid naive little Lexi!"

"It was MOTORHEAD for fuck's sake! And Ace can't keep that shit eating 'I just got laid' grin off his face for anything. You honestly think we would've came home like that if we had done anything? I didn't do shit with him. You believe it or not I don't care anymore. He's cheating on you. I felt bad seeing you played so I told you."

Lexi couldn't stop the tears no matter how much Jackie told her not to cry over him and that Dean wasn't worth her tears. She couldn't help it and she didn't have the words to explain to Jackie what it all meant to her. Dean was the only person she let that close to her, the only person she ever said I love you to besides her parents. She trusted him with her life, thought they had a future together. She really believed he felt the same way. And now all she wanted to do was crawl into a fetal position and bawl her eyes out.

"How could he?"

"Sex is sex to him." Jackie shrugged, "Knowing Ace he probably sees nothing wrong with what he's doing."

Lexi closed her eyes taking a deep breath, "He thinks I'm a stupid little girl."

"You know, I don't think that's it at all. I told you, sex is sex to him nothing more…..figures you're not there. He wants to get off, it's perfectly ok for him to do that as long as it's just that. His logic's kinda fucked in that sense. Forget about him, Lex."

"I love him."

"And he's been cheating on you. You still wanna love someone like that?"

"He's the only guy….." Lexi paused taking a deep breath before biting her bottom lip trying not to cry.

"Yeah," Jackie nodded rubbing her back, "I know."

"No you don't know."

"I know he was your first and that he's the only guy you ever slept with, that much I know."

"I never let anyone that close."

"I dunno what to tell you."

Lexi went into her bedroom slamming the door for good measure. She still couldn't believe this was happening to her. This morning everything was fine. Dean was coming home tomorrow and they were going to spend their last week together in New Orleans doing all the touristy things they never got around to doing in the past four years. She was hoping maybe by then she would've gotten an answer from Dean on whether or not he was going to go with her to New York City. He had been tight lipped about it since he found out she had decided to go to Columbia Medical School. Deep down though Lexi was hoping for a ring or something to let her know he was as committed to her as she was to him. Well, now she had her answer. She was gone an hour later, said her goodbyes to Jackie with the promise to keep in touch. She handed Jackie a plain sealed envelop with Dean's name on it, making Jackie swear not to tell him where she had gone.

**The Next Day**

Jackie was in her room packing up her things when she heard Dean enter the apartment. She was kinda hoping he wouldn't have come back when she was there. Jackie really didn't want to be in the middle of Dean's mess even though she already was. She closed her eyes snatching the envelope Lexi had left with her when she heard him call Lexi's name again.

"She's not here." Jackie stated simply handing him Lexi's letter, "Asked me to give this to you."

Dean looked at the envelope in confusion, his stomach twisting in knots, "What? Where is she?"

"All she did was give me this note and then she left."

Dean tore open the envelope fearing the worst. He had to read the letter over for the words on the page to sink in. Lexi was gone. She knew what he had done and she wasn't coming back. He shook his head, this wasn't happening. He was not holding a Dear John letter in his hand. He looked up at Jackie his temper snapping as he crumpled the letter up.

"You told her!"

"I'm not gonna fight with you." Jackie said glaring at Dean, "You brought this on yourself."

"Do you know what you did?" Dean snapped his eyes hard as he glared at Jackie, "I love her. I was gonna ask her to marry me."

"I don't really care! You were hurting my friend, she loved you. You meant EVERYTHING to her." Jackie pointed at Dean her voice harsh, "You deserve everything you're getting right now! You fucked around on her for four months, probably more!"

"It wasn't ANY of your business!"

"You lied to her, the girl you "love"."

"I didn't lie. I just didn't tell her."

"No you lied." Jackie crossed the room looking up at Dean as she mocked him, "I love you baby girl, you're the only one Lexi."

"IT DIDN'T MEAN SHIT TO ME!"

"Well it meant something to her. The whole point of being in a relationship means that you don't fuck other people. Clearly you never got that memo or you just didn't care, so she's gone now. You lost her."

And that's when it sunk in for Dean, really sunk in. He lost her. There was no going back, no charming his way out of this one. Him and Lexi were over and he had no one to blame but himself. He sat down on the couch, screwing up his face while willing himself not to cry. He didn't want Jackie to see him break down, didn't want to give her that satisfaction to see him weak. He kept asking Jackie where Lexi went but he knew it was no use she wasn't going to tell him and really he didn't blame her.

The only thing he could think about was the tiny black velvet box that was in his coat pocket. Dean had told his father on this last hunt that he didn't wanna do this anymore, that he wanted a life with Lexi. He was surprised when his father didn't rant and rave and tell him to get out. Instead John smiled at Dean and told him, "Son, marry that girl." He was going to ask her tonight, had a little speech planned out and everything. Now it was too late. He stared at his cell phone sighing, he had to call, he couldn't let it end this way. He couldn't believe it when Lexi didn't pick up the phone the first few times, it really got to him. After the tenth call or so he gathered his courage to leave her a message, he eventually filled up her voice mail, each message becoming more and more desperate as Dean cursed himself for being so pathetic. He threw his cell phone across the room causing it to break in two and he didn't care. He didn't care about anything anymore. He put his head in his hands wishing this were an alternate universe that some big bad had stuck him in.

"What are you doing?" Jackie whispered sitting on the coffee table directly in front of Dean.

"Where is she Jackie?"

"Why should I tell you?"

"Just tell me." Dean pleaded looking up at Jackie his eyes red and puffy from crying.

"Tell me why. If I'm going to go against what my best friend told me after what YOU did it damn well better be a good reason."

"I need her….."

Jackie shook her head no, not enjoying this at all no matter how it appeared to Dean, "Not good enough."

"Tell me where she is!" He snapped his face turning several shades of red.

"Nah, see you almost had me there with your red puffy eyed shit."

"I thought you were my friend!"

"Are you sorry? You wish you could take it back? Can you say it?" Jackie fired rapidly at him studying his reactions carefully.

"I don't have to say it to you. I have to say it to her. It can't end like this! I fucked up big time okay."

"Yeah you did."

Dean studied his hands intently not wanting Jackie to see the wetness in his eyes, "She's the only good thing I have in my life."

"If she's so good then why would you ever wanna hurt her like that? Uh? Why the hell would you have the nerve to go behind her back and hurt her KNOWING how insecure she is?" She sighed running her hands through her already messy hair, "She's been paranoid about you cheating on her, about the age difference, about you going and fucking some chick your own age. That's ALWAYS been her biggest fear and you broke her."

"I…"

"You broke her."

"I need to fix this…"

Jackie leaned over placing her hand on Dean's arm gently, "I'm not sure if you can."

"I have to don't you get it?"

"Where was she gonna go next week? Uh?" Jackie whispered rubbing his arms, "Where was she going to go next week, Ace?"

"New York?"

She smirked suddenly as she got to her feet, "You could try there. Technically I didn't tell you anything."

**April 17, 2008**

That's when everything changed for me. I was headed east to New York City to get Lexi back but I never made it that far. I got as far as Raleigh, North Carolina when my father disappeared working a job out in Jericho, California. So, I did the only thing I could. I turned round and double-timed it to Palo Alto to get Sammy to help me find Dad. I didn't wanna do it alone, I couldn't do it alone. I hadn't seen or spoken to Sammy in two years and I knew this was going to be a tough sell. After all, college boy was in his element with all the other geeks. I just hoped I could get him to come with me.

Everything was pretty much okay for two years until Sam disappeared. Everyone always left me, guess that was my fate to be alone. Then, Lexi walked back into the picture out of the blue and I was grateful for the company. That's when things really changed. Sam and me drifted apart and I realized I didn't want this life anymore. I never wanted it but it was the only life I really ever knew. Almost a year later Jackie was back, I wasn't too sure how I felt about that.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Don't know, don't own Disclaimer: Don't know, don't own. I do own Lexi and Jackie. Please review.

**Chapter 7**

**Lemon Grove, CA**

**September 13, 2007**

It's been two months since we came here. There's not been one demon or hunter sniffing around. We even have the FBI off our trail. Well, there was that incident a month ago in the mall with Lexi and Henricksen but since she used her mind control thing he's convinced I'm in Mexico. I have to admit those little Jedi mind tricks of hers have come in handy, saved my ass a few times now.

The brick house that made me feel like I didn't belong there now felt like home. Home. For the longest time I thought I didn't need a home, that I was just fine moving from place to place. I guess I was wrong. It was weird how easily we fitted in here. No one questioned who we claimed to be. They all thought we were this nice newly wed couple from Kansas who were expecting their first kid, went to dinner and a movie every Friday night and to breakfast at the diner down town every Sunday. I was happy, really happy for the first time in as long as I could remember. The only downside to the whole thing was that I missed my brother. I was gonna be a dad and I wanted Sam around. I wanted my kid to know their Uncle. Besides, all that I simply missed Sammy.

**September 12, 2007**

I smirked at Lexi giving her another one of my inspired name choices; only she didn't find any of them amusing. Hell, she shot down: Bonham, Ozzy, Seven and my all time favorite Kal-El, Superman's real name. For some strange reason she wanted to name the poor kid after me. Thank God Jackie was here to point out how bad an idea that was. I sat there listening to them throw out boring names like Jason when I came up with the best name ever, "How about Dakota?"

Lexi rolled her eyes at me her mouth twitching at the corner, "You're officially out of this conversation."

"What's wrong with Dakota? That's where the little fucker was conceived."

"Might as well name him mausoleum then!" Lexi snapped punching my arm.

"Oh is she still bitch hurt about that?" Jackie asked faking innocence, she knew the real answer.

"She's still pissed about it." I shrugged smiling at Lexi, "Don't know why she got off on it."

"Don't talk about me like I'm not sitting here, Dean!"

"Ah he's just being nostalgic." Jackie waved her hand dismissively stating, "Maybe if you had lit a candle she'd be a lot happier."

"There were candles lit. Ya know I had to see what I was doing killing Gordon." I motioned to Lexi who was pressed up against me the biggest smile on my face, "Best sex I've ever had. She's just mad I ruined her shirt."

"See, Ace, this is why we're friends." Jackie said simply messing with her phone again, "You're just as depraved as I am."

I couldn't help but be annoyed; Jackie had been texting the whole damn time she was here. I wanted to know who she was talking to. I had an idea since she was being all covert operation about it. I knew it was Sam, it had to be.

"You're texting Sam, aren't you?" I snapped reaching for her phone.

"No, it's not Sam, you idiot. Stay out of my business Ace, I mean it."

"What are you doing with my brother?" I huffed crossing my arms in front of my chest, "Well?"

Jackie gave me the dirtiest look I've ever seen before snapping, "Well what? I'm not giving you a fucking explanation if that's what you're digging for. I don't owe you one."

"He's my brother!"

"Dean," Lexi sighed giving me a warning look, "stop it. It's not your business. I'm gonna take Ozzy for a walk.

"You're almost eight months pregnant you shouldn't be walking Ozzy!"

"Whatever Dean I'm going for a walk. You two play NICE."

We just sat there in silence. That seemed to be happening a lot between Jackie and me lately. I don't know why, it used to be so easy with us; I could always talk to her. Now every time we talked there was just all this tension in the air. I guess part of it was that I never really wanted her and Sammy to be together. It wasn't that I wanted her for myself, I had Lexi and it was never like that between the two of us. It was the fact that she wanted Sam over me, over ME. That had never happened before and it fucking bugged the hell out of me.

**New Orleans**

**December 12, 2005**

**8 P.M.**

Lexi sat on the edge of her bed taking Dean's pulse. It was slow and steady, completely normal for someone that was asleep. That wasn't the problem. The problem was he hadn't woken up since he came home from his hunt over twenty-four hours ago. All Lexi knew was that he was hunting a coven of witches and Dean told her everything went according to plan. She wasn't so sure of that now as she sat there listening to him mumbling deliriously in his sleep.

"Lexi, how is he?" Jackie asked softly joining her on the bed.

"I dunno really. I can't get him to wake up and now he's running a fever." She sighed running her hands through her hair, "This isn't natural. Something happened with those witches, Jackie. The hell with this I'm calling Sam."

Jackie nudged her with a small smile on her face, "Hey, he's gonna be okay. I know he is."

She grabbed Dean's cell phone scrolling through the numbers to find Sam's. She closed her eyes listening to the phone ring hoping it didn't go to voice mail. Lexi began to ramble as she was prone to do when she was upset the moment Sam answered.

"Sam, it's me, Lexi. I need you to get here now. No, Sam, he won't wake up. He went out on a hunt, he came back here to crash and I can't wake him up. Your brother needs you Sam!"

"I haven't been on a hunt in months….."

"You know if it was you Dean wouldn't hesitate. He'd be out the door the moment someone told him you were in trouble."

"I'll see what I can do."

"Thanks Sam."

**December 13, 2005**

**2 A.M.**

After hanging up with Sam, Lexi resumed her vigil by Dean's side. She was worried and felt helpless. She couldn't do anything but sit there and attempt to break his fever, which had now spiked to 105. The cold towels and ice did not seem to be helping in lowering Dean's fever, if anything it seemed to be having the reverse effect. She went into the kitchen to retrieve her medical kit deciding that she had no choice but to give him an antibiotic. Lexi stopped in her tracks when she saw Sam standing in the doorway chatting with an awed Jackie.

"SAM!" Lexi squealed launching herself at him and pulling him into a vice like hug, "I'm so glad you're here!"

"Hey." Sam whispered patting her back while disentangling himself from her grip, "Where is he?"

"In the bedroom, down the hall. It's the middle door."

Sam nodded walking down the hallway to the middle door. He took a deep breath preparing himself for whatever state Dean was in. He knew he had to do this. He owed his big brother for all the times Dean had protected and saved him. Sam finally opened the door closing it behind him as he took it in.

It was a fairly large room with shuttered French doors that led out onto a wrought iron balcony. In the center of the red Fleur de Lis wallpapered room sat a large antique four-poster bed that matched the rest of the antique French style furniture in the room. There was something off though for Sam.

The items scattered over the large room were not strictly feminine and not strictly Lexi's. It was the items on the tall dresser that drew Sam's attention first. Obviously, the aftershave, electric razor and cell phone belonged to Dean but the books? Sam picked the books up to see the titles. He was surprised by what he saw there; Lullaby, Fight Club and Charles Bukowski. 'Dean owns these?' Sam snorted, 'I read these.'

"Dude, you gotta hook me up with that." Jackie whispered grabbing Lexi's medical kit while her eyes darted to the hallway.

"With Sammy?" Lexi questioned her eyebrows raised in confusion, "Sammy's not the hook up type, Jackie. He's the good one, the boring one."

"Huh, maybe I could try that. It'd break the monotony."

Lexi didn't like where this was going. She knew full well Dean would have a complete shit fit if she hooked up Jackie and Sam. "Him and Dean are night and day."

Not one to be dissuaded easily, Jackie crossed her arms smirking, "Even better, he'll be complimentary."

"I know this much you're gonna have to wait till Dean's awake."

"I'd never try anything like that while Ace is hurt."

"Okay then. You got my kit?"

"Right here." Jackie stated snorting slightly when she saw that it was full of antibiotics and painkillers Lexi had lifted from the college infirmary. "And you get on my ass whenever I lift something?"

"Sticky fingers, useless talent number 52. Besides if I have to constantly patch Dean up how am I going to do it if something gets infected?" Lexi shrugged smirking at Jackie, "It's the beauty of being Pre-Med they think nothing of me volunteering at the infirmary."

"Hey Sam." Lexi stated softly standing over Dean as she filled a syringe with an antibiotic, "Can you get him out of this?"

"What are you doing?"

"He has a fever. I'm just giving him an antibiotic to be on the safe side. Come on, I wouldn't do anything to hurt him. You know that." Lexi pointed to Dean's wrists before continuing, "Look at this Sam. I don't know where these cuts came from they just appeared after I called you."

"Shit."

"I don't get it Sam. He came home the other night and he was fine. He brought some take out home, we had a couple of beers, watched The Shining and went to bed."

"What was he hunting?"

"A coven of witches."

"Did you check for a hex bag?"

"A what?" Lexi asked confused sitting on the bed while wiping Dean's forehead with a cold wash cloth, "I just been trying to wake him."

Sam joined her on the bed eying her thoughtfully, "Home? As in home and Dean lives here?"

"He doesn't live here." She shifted slightly diverting her gaze from Sam's eyes down to Dean, "He just crashes here whenever he's down this way. Ya know he hunts mostly on his own now."

"You, Lexi Brennan, are a bad liar. He lives here doesn't he?"

"Define live here…."

"As in this is his place of residence. I found his clothes and weapons in the closet and that tall dresser over there."

"Technically he doesn't reside here. He goes on hunts, he comes back here for a few days and leaves again."

"Stop bullshitting me, Lexi. Dean lives here."

Lexi sighed tilting her head to the side, "Fine I guess by your definition he LIVES here but I didn't tell you."

Sam nodded knowing full well that Dean would deny that he's being all domestic with his girl. He didn't get why though. It was so obvious how Dean felt about her and Sam really did want him to be happy. It just still burned him though that Dean had to go and steal Lexi away from him right underneath his nose. He reached down turning Dean's arm over to inspect his wrist, thinking maybe he could figure out what had caused the cuts.

"They're gone." Sam stated simply staring at Lexi, "I don't know how but they disappeared."

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

"Definitely a good thing." Sam smiled as Dean began making noises in his sleep, "How long has he been making those noises?"

"Pretty much the whole time. He hasn't really said anything."

Sam shifted uncomfortably rubbing the back of his neck, "It sounds like he's um you know...having a good time….."

"Oh?" She laughed tossing her head back enjoying Sam's discomfort, "You mean having a wet dream?"

"More high def than that."

"You think it's a spell?"

"Not exactly. I've heard about something like this before. They're inside his head or one of em is at least."

"So, how do you get them out of his head?"

"Well, I'd have to go in there." Sam stated simply.

"You really don't wanna go in there do you?" She questioned Sam scrunching up her face in disgust, "God only knows what's crawling around in his mind. It's probably like cable porn 24/7."

"You want him to wake up?" Sam snorted pulling out a piece of Dean's hair, "I have to go in."

"No Sam, I want my boyfriend to whither and die in our bed while he has sex dreams. You know Dean's gonna be pissed that you were rooting around in his mind."

"He'll get over it once he wakes up."

Dean inhaled sharply his eyes flying open as he and Sam woke up. Lexi turned to him relief washing over her face to see Dean awake once again. She threw her arms around him in a suffocating hug while nuzzling his neck, "DEAN! I was so worried. You were trapped in your head and asleep for almost two days."

"Hey Jack?" Dean smirked as Sam headed for the kitchen for a cold beer to erase the debauchery he had just witnessed in his brother's head, "You got a tattoo of some script on your thigh?"

"How do you know that?" Jackie asked her eyes wide with shock, "I'll leave you two alone. I'm gonna go hang with Sam...Uh, yeah."

Lexi smacked his arm frowning, "You're ungrateful, Dean Michael Winchester."

"Yeah yeah."

"I was worried about you."

"Well I'm okay." Dean whispered rubbing her back in small circles, "It's gonna take more than some filthy witches to kill me."

She pulled away from him running her fingers down his cheek, "Yeah, I get it. You're like a superhero or something."

"Yeah I'm something." Dean smirked, "Hey you wanna order some takeout? I'm STARVING."

"We ordered pizza. You want me to get you a beer too?"

Dean simply nodded his head turning on the T.V. and settling back against the pillows, "Hey, Lex, tell my baby brother to get laid cuz he really needs to loosen up and have some fun."

**September 12, 2007**

"He doesn't answer my calls…." I mumbled lighting another cigarette, "it's like when he left for Stanford."

"That's because you pissed him off. He's not gonna be answering your phone calls for awhile. He gets all tense and snappy if I even bring your name up." Jackie stated simply as she stubbed out another cigarette.

"I didn't do anything wrong!"

"I'm Swiss, Ace."

"I didn't know putting my girl and my son first was wrong." I huffed crossing my arms in front of my chest.

"I didn't SAY IT WAS! Fuck I'm not picking sides between you two idiots. This is why I avoid bringing either of you up. You both start bitching like two teenaged girls."

"You don't think I wanna be hunting?"

"Lexi has no issues with you hunting. YOU'RE the one with the issues. So no Ace, right now I don't think you want to be hunting."

I ran my hands through my hair not wanting to look at Jackie, "I can't right now. If I start popping demons they're gonna find us. I thought I could do this. I thought…. this isn't me. Come on Jackie I'm not this guy."

"Nah, you're really not."

"Man, I'm not ready for this. I shouldn't be someone's father."

"You're gonna have to get yourself ready, Ace. And you know what else?" Jackie snapped stealing my last cigarette, "You should've thought of that before you fucked her bareback in that crypt."

"She was supposed to be on birth control." I snapped. It was the only defense I could think of at the moment.

"That's right lay it all on the girl cause you know it'd kill you to use a condom for once."

I shrugged leaning back against the couch, "I've used them just not with Lex."

"Well you should've been using them with her if you really didn't wanna knock her up." Jackie looked over at me poking my arm, "You really think you're not ready for this?"

"Not at all."

"Then leave Ace. If you're that scared and you honestly think you can't handle this then go. She's out with the dog you got a clear shot to bolt right now."

I looked at her my mouth practically touching the floor. There was no way I could up and leave. No, I couldn't do that to Lexi. I wasn't a complete scumbag, "Jackie, I can't just take off!"

"Why not?" Jackie smirked, "You said you're not ready for this, you're not that guy so go."

"Because!"

"If you really thought you couldn't handle it then you'd already be out that door."

"No I wouldn't. I can't even if I want to."

"That's because you don't want to." She said simply, "Not really."

"She's my wife now...I can't just walk."

She nudged me a Cheshire grin on her face, "You're ready, that right there. That's it man. You'll be all right cause of that. Your innate sense of always putting your family before yourself, making sure they're safe and all that. That's it, Ace."

"I don't wanna fuck it up." I mumbled staring at my hands.

"I'll kick your ass if you do, she's way too attached for her own good."

"Yeah, yeah, you always say that."

I sat there listening to Jackie tell me that I was gonna be okay and not to worry. She kept saying I was gonna be a great dad but I didn't believe her. I couldn't help it. I never thought about having kids and now it was happening. I didn't want to be my dad and with my contract coming due I couldn't see how I would be a great dad. Hell, I wasn't even gonna be here.

I looked at her, breaking out of my daze when she said Sam's name. So, my brother was in town and didn't want to speak to me. To top it all off the bitch fell down some steps in Hollywood and broke his ankle. Serves his ass right for not calling me. He always was a whiny little bitch.

"So he's here and that bitch didn't call me?"

"He doesn't even want to hear your name right now."

"I wanna talk to my brother." I pouted giving her my best Sammy puppy eyed impression.

"You're not calling him."

"Why not?"

"He doesn't wanna talk to you! So you're not talking to him."

"I can't invite my brother over for dinner?" I asked a little disappointed. I really did wanna see him. "Lex is a pretty good cook now."

Jackie laughed her deep throaty laugh; "You mean she can make more than ramen now?"

"Guess you and Sammy have to come over Friday night and find out."

**September 14, 2007**

Sam stared up in awe at the modest brick two-story home in front of him with its perfectly mowed lawn and trimmed rose bushes. 'Dean lives here?' He didn't believe it. It was just so middle America, or as Dean would say apple pie, with its attached garage and fenced in yard. The only thing that let him know for sure this is where Dean lived was the shiny black Impala parked in the driveway. 'Was that a puppy running around in the back yard?' Sam shook his head, hell had frozen over, his big brother had become Ward Cleaver. He was expecting him to open the front door any minute now dressed in a cardigan, the image of it causing Sam to crack up.

Dean did answer the door but he looked like his normal self, except he was wearing blue mechanic work clothes with the name David embroidered on his shirt and a pair of work boots. His hands and clothes were covered with black grim that Sam assumed had come from a day working at some garage. Dean shifted under Sam's gaze reaching up and rubbing the back of his neck self-consciously.

"I'd um shake your hand little brother but I got home from work late and still need to get cleaned up. Why don't you and Jackie go in the living room while I take a shower? Jackie knows the way."

Sam followed Jackie deeper into the house while Dean headed upstairs to clean himself up. Sam took everything in as they headed for the living room. It was just so normal and unlike Dean. The house was neat but still had a lived in feel to it with plants and photos scattered here and there. He was drawn to the cherry wood shelves in the living room that were filled with books and more photos. Sam ran his eyes over the frames, knowing this had to be Lexi's doing, Dean would never put his life on display like this. He stopped picking up one photo that caught his attention. It was a picture of Dean and their Mom sitting on the steps of their house that he had never seen before. He couldn't have been more than three years old. They looked so happy; Dean was sitting on her lap dressed up as a fireman for Halloween holding one of those little plastic pumpkins. By the look of sheer joy on his face, Sam assumed it must've already been filled with candy.

"Hey guys." Lexi said smiling at Sam and Jackie when she entered the living room. Sam put the photo back where he found it feeling guilty for having looked at it, "Those pictures are cute aren't they? I found them when I unpacked."

"Yeah, they are. And you!" Sam smiled changing the subject, "You look like you're about to pop but ya know in a good way, all belly. Looks like you stuffed a ball under your shirt. And you got that glow thing they're always talking about."

"Yeah, well, I still got about two months to go before he's here." Lexi stated her right hand moving down to rest on her stomach, "I can't wait."

Sam raised his eyebrows slightly surprised but still smiled, "OH. You're having a boy? Dean must be thrilled."

"You know Dean, Sam. He doesn't say it but he has every ultra sound picture up on the refrigerator door." She smiled suddenly looking a bit embarrassed, "Do you two want something to drink?"

The three of them sat in the living room making small talk while waiting for Dean to come back downstairs. It was relaxed with Jackie telling Lexi all about Sam's humiliating swan dive down some steps at the Chinese Theater, until Dean walked in. The air was immediately filled with tension as the brothers looked at each other, Sam shifting awkwardly under Dean's gaze. Dean, however, didn't move a muscle; he just stared at Sam his arms crossed like he was expecting something. Lexi's eyes darted between the two of them suddenly feeling guilty for the rift that had happened. She cleared her throat trying to break the tension, "Dinner should be ready. Jackie and Sam why don't you go in the dinning room and Dean I need you to help me bring the food in from the kitchen."

Dinner was going as well as was expected with Dean and Sam sitting at opposite ends of the table. Jackie and Lexi were doing all the talking while attempting to draw the brothers into the conversation but all they got out of Dean were grunts that were supposed to be words and all they could get Sam to say was yes or no. Lexi could feel the rage building inside of her as the thoughts of the other three invaded her head. She tried to push them out but she just couldn't because their thoughts were hitting her in an overwhelming wave.

"I'm not enough for you, Dean?" Lexi fired at me taking me by surprise.

"Uh?"

"Sammy try the enchiladas they're awesome." Jackie interjected in an attempt to save me from my hormonal wife.

Sam eyed the enchilada in question wearily before taking a small bite. Lexi was not known for her cooking skills, "Hmm what take out place did you get these from Lexi?"

"No I told you she's gotten better." Jackie laughed helping herself to more rice.

"That's right." Lexi snapped eying us all with contempt before kicking my shin, "I'm just a human incubator!"

"OW what?"

"You KNOW what, Dean."

"No I don't!"

"I'm not ENOUGH for you anymore?"

"What do you mean?" I asked innocently. I really didn't know what she was on about this time.

"You know damn well what I mean Dean Winchester! I'm almost eight months pregnant with your god damn brat and you have the balls to stare at HER!" She snapped grabbing her plate and going into the kitchen.

Sam smirked at me, pointing his fork in my direction, "You really shouldn't breed."

"What?" I blinked at him, Sam's words not really registering at the moment.

"Ya know breed, have offspring."

"I know what it means dickhead!"

"You sure about that shit for brains?" Sam smiled enjoying this way too much.

"Yes I'm sure." I mocked him, "I meant what like why are you saying that."

"Oh I dunno maybe because your WIFE is in the kitchen crying."

I shrugged popping another piece of enchilada in my mouth, "She's just hormonal."

Jackie gave me the stink eye nodding towards the kitchen, "Go take care of that."

"I didn't do shit." I mumbled getting to my feet and heading into the kitchen to my doom.

I leaned against the archway just watching Lexi slam the cabinets, that was a sure fire sign that I was in deep shit. I had no choice though I knew I had to talk to her. "What's wrong? Why are you so mad all of a sudden?"

"I dunno," Lexi snapped, "maybe because you were ogling my best friend!"

"I'm not ogling your best friend!"

"How stupid do you think I am? I KNOW WHAT YOU WERE THINKING!"

"What was I thinking?" I asked her crossing my arms and raising my eyebrows, "Uh?"

"You were thinking, 'Why doesn't she want me?'"

"Doesn't mean I want her. I was just wondering why she's not like all the other chicks." I shrugged reaching out to pull Lexi into my arms.

She jerked away her eyes hard slapping my hands away, "You still think I'm some stupid naive little girl."

"I don't want her it's just, it's the fact that she wants my brother. What the fuck? None of them wanted Sammy!"

"Whatever Dean, you've wanted her since I introduced you at that Halloween Party in New Orleans."

"You know I love you."

"Really Dean?" Lexi snapped, "Just because you say it doesn't mean you mean it! JUST ADMIT YOU'RE ONLY STILL HERE BECAUSE YOU KNOCKED ME UP!"

"I'm here because I wanna be, I love you."

"I know the real reason. I know about the deal! That's why you wanted all this cuz you knew you'd be dead in a year! And you weren't going to tell me! How much longer do you have Dean? Six months? You know how I know? Because that's all that Sam's thinking about! And how you're not lifting a finger to stop it!"

"Lex, I can't. He dies if I do." I whispered staring at my feet. I didn't wanna look in her eyes because then I'd have to deal with the mess I had made. I'd have to deal with the fact that I was really going to hell and I wasn't going to get the chance to raise my son.

"What about your son?"

"I'm gonna be there."

"Oh for a few months? A few months is nothing."

"Don't do this." I pleaded pulling Lexi into my arms, "I wouldn't have done it if I knew you were pregnant and I know, I know I didn't give you a chance to tell me. I'm sorry."

"You weren't gonna say anything and let me find you dead. How could you? How could you keep this from me?"

"Shhh," I whispered rubbing the small of Lexi's back while she buried her face against my chest crying, "I'm sorry. I…I didn't know how to tell you. I don't wanna leave you, I…..I don't wanna go to hell, Lex."

She pulled away resting both of her hands on my chest, "I'll get you out of this, there's no way I'm going to let you die. You do NOT deserve to go to hell, Dean. I'll get you out of it even if I have to kill every last demon to do it."

I stared at her shaking my head. Lexi's eyes had flashed yellow and it wasn't a trick of the light. They were the same yellow eyes of the demon that killed our mothers. She looked at me her eyebrows knitted together in confusion. "What, Dean?"

"Your eyes…they flashed yellow."

She shifted uncomfortably chewing on her bottom lip, "I can um explain that. Maybe we should um go where Sam and Jackie can't eaves drop."

I stood in the middle of our bedroom waiting for Lexi's explanation as she fidgeted in front of me. I knew this wasn't just some little thing she had to tell me. It was big and all I wanted to do was pull her into my arms and protect her from whatever bad thing she was about to tell me. I watched her carefully as she told me that what she was going to say couldn't leave this room, that I couldn't tell Sam, Jackie or Bobby. She made me swear that it stayed between us.

"I read this ya know." She stated holding up her Mom's worn leather bound journal for me to see while she began to ramble, "You know she was hunter and um it mentions my father. I'm not one of the psychic kids. He told her his name was Michael. She didn't know he was the demon she was hunting; no one knew what Azazel looked like in his corporal form. My mom tried to kill him. The ritual's in here it's supposed to bind a demons powers. She just pissed him off apparently, destroyed his corporal body and sent his soul, essence whatever you want to call it back to hell. That's why he had to possess people and he killed her."

I just stood there staring at Lexi while going over what she had just said. I had a feeling months ago but I didn't want to believe it. It all added up how quickly her powers had progressed and her eyes flashing yellow. Lexi was Azazel's kid, my Lexi, my sweet wouldn't hurt a soul Lexi. I shook my head not knowing what to say. The only thing I could get out of my mouth was, "Wow."

"Yeah, wow. Now you know why my powers are stronger." Lexi stated quietly turning her back to me, "He knew who I was. He kept telling me I made a father proud. I thought he was just playing with my head."

"Lex…"

"What about your demon rule? Ya know that they should all die."

I grabbed her arm making her turn around to look at me, "Whatever, you don't count. You're my wife."

"Sam's not gonna think so."

"Sam has no fucking say." I stated firmly, "No one's going to touch you."

"But Azazel he killed your mom and I'm his..." Lexi whispered staring at her feet.

"You didn't do shit. I'm not going to kill you and you're not gonna kill me."

"How can you be so sure? I'm what you hunt Dean." She looked down and away from me her eyes brimming with tears, "I'm what my mom hunted."

"No, Lex, you're not. I didn't kill Sammy and I'm not killing you." I whispered lifting her chin up so I could look in her eyes, "It's okay. I won't let anything happen to you. I swear, I'll save you."

**Later that night**

I made my escape from Lexi, Jackie and Sam using painting the nursery as my excuse. I just needed time to be by myself. I needed time to think about what I had just found out. It all made sense now why the demons were after Lexi, they must know who she is, like with Sammy. There was no way I was going to let anything happen to her, I don't care if that yellow-eyed bastard was her father. I knew Lexi, I knew her better than anyone and there was not an evil bone in that girl's body.

"You need any help, Dean?" Sam questioned me while watching me paint the walls blue.

"There's a roller over there."

We painted in silence for a good twenty minutes or so. I didn't really know what to say to Sam and I guess he didn't know what to say to me. I just knew that I missed him but I was not going to have a chick flick moment with Sam. That would mean he would want to hug me and stuff. I shuddered thinking of the pansy things he would probably say to me when Lexi broke the peace and quiet of the room.

"No, no Dean! I said SKY blue not AZURE."

I looked at her in confusion, what the hell was azure? "No, you said BLUE this is BLUE."

"You realize this is Dean right?" Sam smirked raising his eyebrows, "As in doesn't use moisturizer or conditioner Dean."

"Don't make any sudden movement, Sam." I hissed my eyes wide, "You're only gonna piss her off."

"Sam," She questioned pointing to the nursery wall, "What color is this?"

"For the love of God, Sammy do not answer her."

"Azure." Sam smirked at me while I ran my hand down my face getting ready for Lexi's bitching.

"See, Dean this is all wrong. It has to be SKY blue!"

Sam snickered elbowing my ribs, "Yeah Dean, SKY blue."

That's when I lost it. I didn't mean to, I just snapped, "I've painted this room three God damn times! First, you want MINT green! Then, you wanted something called MISTY SUMMER MORNING! THEN, YOU SAID BLUE! IT'S FUCKING BLUE AND IT'S STAYING THIS BLUE!"

The moment the words left my mouth I wished I could've taken them back. Lexi looked at me her green eyes wide while her bottom lip started to shake. A few seconds later and the tears started rolling down her cheeks.

"Oh shit, don't cry I'm sorry baby girl." I said softly rushing to her side rubbing her arms.

"Nice job dickface." Sam snapped, "This is why you shouldn't be allowed to reproduce, you're insane and it's not like she's much better."

"Shhh Lex, don't cry. I'm sorry I didn't mean it." I whispered hugging her close to me, "I'll paint it any color you want me to."

Sam laughed, as he started painting again, "What I wouldn't give for a video camera. Dean Winchester showing remorse."

"Hmph fine keep it AZURE." Lexi huffed turning to leave the room. She glared at me stopping in the doorway, "I guess it'll do."

"Shut up Sammy!" I pointed at him before he had a chance to start riding me about what had just happened.

"I'm not the one who just stuck my foot in my mouth. I think you're the one that needs to shut up."

"You don't understand. Pregnant women are worse than wendigos or even hell hounds. They're way more testier."

"Shut up man, just shut up."

"Sammy," I sighed as I began to paint again, "demons I get. Pregnant women are fucking crazy."

"Whatever, you're pathetic man. Does she have your balls in a velvet bag?"

I stared at Sam; the little fucker had some nerve! I mocked him wishing he'd just shut up and leave me in peace, "'She have your balls in a velvet bag?' NO, Sam I got them right here!"

"Let me know when you're ready to sell the Impala, since you're all American pie now."

"Pie?" I smiled, "You got pie?"

"SHUT UP!"

"What are you talking bout college boy?"

Sam dropped the paint roller on the floor his bitch face in place, "STOP! Just fucking stop already where'd my brother go?"

"I'm right here!"

"No, you're not."

"If you have something to say just fucking say it, Sammy."

"There's no point anyways you never listen and you're not even my fucking brother right now!"

"What's that supposed to mean? Because I married my pregnant girlfriend?"

"Yeah maybe so, did you fall on your head and suffer some sort of head trauma? Forget who you are, Dean?"

"I wanted to do the right thing for once in my life Sam." I snapped, "I love her. I wouldn't expect you to understand."

"You would fucking say that but you know what? I DO KNOW cause I had a girl who I was gonna marry! And then you came out of nowhere pulled me out of my whole damn life! Jessica ended up dead, but I wouldn't expect you to understand that Dean!"

"I don't wanna fight Sam. This is where I need to be right now. I can't just walk away."

"You walked away from me just fine, Dean." Sam muttered giving me his puppy dog look.

"Sammy, don't do this. I wanted to see you to ask you something not to fucking fight. I want you to be Jacob's Godfather."

"Why do you always do this to me? Uh, Dean? Always asking me to do things for your own selfish needs."

"I just gotta lay low right now. I told you once she has him I'll be back out there hunting."

"I don't get it, Dean. You were the one that told me to face that fact that I was a hunter. Call me Dean when you face that fact."


	8. Chapter 8

**November 7, 2007**

  
**Dean's POV**

I gripped the steering wheel willing myself to stay awake. I cursed myself for coming up with the idea of going out of state for Lexi to have Jacob. At the time it made sense to leave for a couple weeks and head to Bobby's but that was before I was in my ninth hour of driving and sixth cup of coffee. I could barely keep my eyes open. The coffee wasn't helping and neither was the radio. I needed to drive straight through. I wanted to put as much distance between California and us as I could before stopping.

"Uh." Lexi muttered sitting up straighter in the passenger seat with an odd look on her face.

"What?" I asked turning in her direction, curious now by that one word that she just muttered.

"I just feel weird is all. I guess I shouldn't have had that bacon cheeseburger after all."

I reached over giving her knee a gentle squeeze, "You sure?"

"I'm fine." She smiled shaking her head slightly trying to reassure me, "Don't worry Dean. I'm not due for another two weeks."

"Okay."

Five minutes later she looked at me her eyes wide. All the color had drained out of Lexi's face her voice hitching when she spoke, "Or not…"

"What?"

She turned to me chewing on her bottom lip, "I think my water just broke."

"WHAT?" I tightened my grip on the steering wheel now fully awake as I tried to think straight. The only thought running threw my head was 'hospital now.' "Where's the nearest hospital?"

"I dunno….."

"What do you mean you don't know?!"

"You were the one that wanted to come out here to Bumfuck, South Dakota! I thought you looked into it!"

"I wasn't expecting this!"

"This is SO you Dean Winchester to go off half-cocked. You wanna make a twenty four hour drive and not even bother to map out all the hospitals!"

"Sammy always did the research and now's not the time to be arguing!"

Lexi groaned suddenly gripping on to my arm tightly, "Dean find a hospital NOW."

I had to tell myself to breathe. I had to stay calm and just treat this whole situation like a hunt. Truth was, I wasn't calm. I was freaking out. My life was about to change in a matter of a few hours and there was going to be a whole other person that I would be responsible for. I was on the verge of a panic attack as I pulled in the parking lot of the hospital. I couldn't understand how Lexi could be so calm. We were about to have a kid and she wasn't freaking out at all. She was acting like it was no big deal. I guess it was good that one of us was okay. I ran around to the passenger side of the Impala opening her door and helping her out of the car with shaking hands, "C'mon lets go."

"Calm down. I'm fine."

"No, no, hu- hurry up…" I stammered while Lexi smirked at me, "What?"

"You're scared."

"Whatever. I'm not scared of anything."

She smiled all dimples and rosey cheeks teasing me, "Dean maybe you should stay in the waiting room."

"I am not staying in the waiting room!"

I followed her to the Nurse's desk in the Emergency room listening to Lexi tell the elderly woman that she was in labor and that I needed a sedative. The woman, Camille, smiled at me gently while handing me a clipboard of paperwork and informing me to fill them out.

"No fake names Dean." Lexi hissed in my ear, "Give them the real insurance card too."

I filled out all the paperwork and handed over the insurance cards. I drummed my fingers on the counter while Camille looked over everything. I could feel my chest tightening in anxiousness, all I wanted was to get to wherever Lexi was. I ran up the three flights of stairs instead of taking the elevator. I didn't have the patience to wait for the damn thing. I tore down the hallway of the maternity ward like a mad man in search of room 324. I skidded to a halt when I finally found her room bursting through the door as if I was being chased down by a hellhound.

Lexi looked at me her eyebrows raised in the 'What the hell.' position, "You okay?"

"What? I'm fine."

"You look like you're about to be sick."

"Be quiet you." I said sitting on the bed next to her and attempting to give her my best smile.

"You need to calm down."

"I am!"

"I'm fine, the baby's fine. There's nothing for you to worry about."

"Yeah, I'm fine, you're fine." I snapped rubbing the back of my neck, "Everything's just dandy."

Now that we were in the room time seemed to be at a stand still. Doctors and nurses kept coming in and out checking on Lexi but they kept telling us she wasn't ready yet. I wasn't good at the waiting game. All this sitting around was making me jittery and the closer her contractions became the more nervous I got. I was frustrated seeing her in pain and not being able to stop it. So, I did the only thing I could do. I went out to the Nurse's station to see when the hell they were going to give her something for the pain. A few minutes later a nurse came in to give Lexi her drugs carrying the biggest needle I've ever seen. I started sweating, my stomach turning while I closed my eyes running my hand down my face. That's the last thing I remembered before waking up in the bed next to hers with a knot the size of a baseball on the back of my head.

**A Few Hours Later**

I couldn't believe it. The whole time Lex was pregnant it wasn't real to me. Now it all hit home. I couldn't help the smirk that was pulling at the corner of my mouth as I silently watched Lexi counting Jacob's fingers and toes. She looked so happy holding him that she was practically glowing.

"You okay?" she asked me shifting the baby in her arms, "You're awful quiet."

I just nodded my head yes. My throat had suddenly gone dry and I was pretty damn nervous.

"You wanna hold him?" Lexi questioned me dropping her eyes to the bed by the reaction on my face, "It's fine, I just thought…"

Lexi looked up at me disappointment all over her face. I knew I had to do this; it wasn't like I never held a baby before. This was my son. Just looking at him made all those self-doubts rush through my head. Could I really do this? Lexi seemed to think I could and so did Jackie. I didn't want to fuck this up. I didn't want to turn into my father.

I used to want to be just like him after my mom was killed. I wanted to be strong and as good of a hunter as him. I wanted to be that superhero like I thought he was when I was a kid. I didn't want to be the kind of father he was though. I would not be a drill sergeant and treat my son like a solider. No, there were not going to be drills and weapons training at six years old. My son, was going to have a normal childhood, he was not going into the family business. I wanted to be a Dad who plays catch with his son, takes him fishing and teaches him to ride a bike. You know, normal. "Give him to me."

"Just watch his head."

"Yeah, I know."

I relaxed the moment Lexi put him in my arms. Everything's gonna be okay. I won't make the same mistakes my father made. I knew that because I wasn't alone in all this. I had Lexi and she wouldn't let me turn into John.

"You look good with a baby."

"Thanks."

"If anyone would've told me a year ago that we would be back together and married with a baby I would've said they were insane." Lexi laughed, "Who would've thought we would end up together after everything."

I smiled at her shifting Jacob in my arms, "If anyone ever told me I'd wind up in a relationship I would've told them they were insane."

Lexi inched closer to us fussing with Jacob's blanket before turning to me her face all lit up, "Look what we did."

"Yeah," I snorted, "look what we did."

"You're not happy?"

"More than happy, Lex."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, you know I am." I said softly staring down at the baby that was asleep in my arms.

"He's perfect."

"Yeah, he really is." I stated gently leaning forward to kiss her cheek, "Go to sleep."

"You should call Sam."

"Yeah, maybe later."

"Don't be stubborn, call your brother."

"You're tired. Now get some sleep while you can. You're gonna wish you'd gotten sleep when this kid's waking up every hour crying."

"I'm used to be sleep deprived." She yawned, "Besides I'm not gonna be the only one getting up in the middle of the night."

"I'll make a deal with you, Lex." I said flashing her my best smile, "You go to sleep and maybe I'll call him."

Lexi shook her head trying not to smile. She started asking me about when I was going to hunt again. She said I was antsy and should get back out there. She really didn't understand though. I was fine with not hunting. I wanted to be there for her and Jacob; it had nothing to do with leaving them alone for days. The fact was I was tired. I didn't want to hunt right now. Haven't I done enough? Haven't I given up enough? Why did I have to be some kind of hero? Twenty-four years of this life and now I could walk away if I wanted to. That's what I wanted to do, walk away and live my life with my wife and kid. It was something I needed to do before my payment became due.

"Stop trying to fucking shove me out….."

Lexi reached up rubbing my neck in small circles, "I'm not trying to shove you out...I'm fine with what you do. Whatever you decide to do Dean, I'm with you okay."

"Okay." I sighed watching her as she tried to stay awake, "Come on, Lex, you're exhausted, just humor me and sleep. Nothing's gonna happen to him, I promise. I'm right here."

She nodded settling back against the pillows and closing her eyes. I kissed her forehead once she fell asleep and made myself comfortable against the headboard with Jacob in my arms. I wasn't ready to give him up just yet when the nurse came in to take him for the night. I asked the nurse if it would be okay for Jacob to stay with us in the room. She nodded saying something about me making sure to lay him on his back in the little clear plastic crib and that a nurse would be by later to check on us. I did as I was told but I moved the crib up against the side of the bed just in case. I might not have been hunting but I was well aware of the danger my family was in.

**December 8, 2007**   


  
**St. Anne's Church**

**Los Angeles, CA**

I couldn't believe how much Jacob could do even at one month. He already responded to noises and would just stare at you. I wondered what was going on in that head of his. He probably thought, 'This guy's a moron making faces at me.' The first time he smiled at me, I think my heart fucking stopped. I never loved anyone or anything as much as I loved my son. He was growing so fast it was scaring me. It made me realize what little time I had left with him. I had five months left, the clock was ticking and neither Lexi nor Sam had been able to find a loophole in my deal. I tried not to think too much about it, I was trying to make the most of my time left.

Today is Jake's christening. Sam and Jackie were going to be his Godparents. I'm not religious this is what Lexi wanted. She said if demons were going to be constantly after us that Jacob could use all the help that he could get. I believe in what I can see and touch. God and angels didn't fall into that category. My mom used to tell me every night that angels were watching over me. I hope that she was right and I was wrong about the whole thing. I could feel in my bones something bad was going to happen. I was happy maybe even too happy. It never failed, whenever I was in a good place something came along to destroy it all.

Sam stared at me his eyes wide in shock, "What do you mean you're not coming with me to Texas, Dean?"

"I can't leave now, Sammy. Lexi just had Jacob a month ago."

"You said once she had the baby you'd be back to hunting!"

"I know what I fucking said Sam." I sighed running my hands through my hair trying to keep my temper in check, "I meant later on not a freaking month!"

I watched Sam's face turn from pink to a deep red, his lips forming a straight thin line. I could tell he was about to blow.

"This is so typical of you Dean! I've waited and I've been trying to save your ass from going to hell and you have the nerve to stand here and basically tell me to get lost!"

"I'm not telling you to get lost! I don't want to go that far from them yet!"

"HEY!" Jackie yelled stepping in between us, "Knock it off! You're in a church Sam to be your nephew's Godfather! And you Dean, you should know better too!"

"HA! See Sammy," I smirked folding my arms across my chest, "you're being ridiculous!"

"No, Dean, you're ridiculous!"

"Whatever, Sam. Why don't you just take Jackie with you? She can handle herself."

"No, it's dangerous." Sam whined his eyes darting between Jackie and me; "This thing has killed five people already."

"Take me where?"

"On a hunt but Sammy here seems to think you're a weak little girl."

Lexi walked up with Jacob just in time before things really exploded to tell us the Priest was ready for us. The baptism went off without a hitch except Sam refused to look at me. When it was all said and done Sam just walked away. There were no goodbyes or a sarcastic 'Have a nice life, Dean.' Sam was just gone and I haven't seen or heard from him since. I tried calling at first but what was the point? When Sam was done with his bitch fit he would call me. I just had to wait it out.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

**December 23, 2007**

Lexi was on this whole church kick thing since having Jacob. Waking me up every Sunday at the crack ass of dawn and making me dress up to sit here listening to this guy preach about how God will save me. No one was gonna save me but me. This was such a waste of my time; I could be asleep right now. I was dead tired and could only think about my soft bed. I glanced around trying to plan an escape but I had to face facts there was no way out for me. I was stuck sitting between Lexi and Jackie. I'm sure they planned it that way.

"Why do I have to dress up for something that doesn't exist?" I mumbled trying to loosen my tie, "What's with this sit, kneel, stand bullshit?"

"It's just how it's done." Jackie hissed giving me the stink eye, "It's about respect you little shit."

I snorted shaking my head, "Respect? If there is a God he doesn't have my respect because he's not lifting a finger to get rid of the demons is he? No that's my job. All mighty my ass."

"Whatever Ace, having faith isn't about expecting God to give you every little thing you ask for. It's about having it even when shit is bad."

"I have myself. I don't need to rely on some mythical God."

"A lot of good you've gotten yourself into." Jackie stated raising her eyebrows at me, "Last time I checked you're still going to hell. That WAS your doing wasn't it?"

"Oh so God's gonna SAVE me?"

Lexi jabbed my ribs hard glaring at me, "Dean, be quiet. You're worse than a five year old. And don't think you're going to sleep either."

I started clicking my tongue against the roof of my mouth out of boredom. I was tired and this was just torture. No, this was worse than torture. At least with torture there was a good chance I might die. I looked around the crowded church wondering who in their right mind would come here on their own at six am. Jackie grabbed my arm telling me to stand up, promising there was only ten minutes left. Bitch said that a half hour ago.

I glared at Lexi as she sat next to me rocking Jacob in her arms, "How come Jacob can sleep and I have to be tortured?"

"Because Jacob's an infant, it's what he does, Dean." Lexi stated simply while standing up.

"Don't know why we have to be here at six am." I sulked wishing I was asleep right now, "Isn't God still around in the afternoon?"

"Well, you don't believe in him anyways so why do you care about the time?" Jackie smirked at me in that annoying way of hers.

"I could be doing better things right now."

Jackie snapped her eyes hard, "Like what drooling into your pillow or trying to screw Lexi? Cause you don't do that every other second of the day. Pull your head out of your ass for two seconds and just try to focus on something that's maybe bigger than you Ace."

I ignored Jackie. She was getting on my last nerve with all this God stuff. Fine, I get it, she believes but that doesn't mean she has to shove it down my throat. I looked over at Lexi when Jacob started crying, my eyes widening when she quickly excused herself leaving me behind.

"How come she can leave, Jackie?"

"Because the baby is crying."

"I should get to go too, that's my baby."

"No," She stated harshly, never one to mince words, "you leave her to tend to him every other time now's no different."

"Next time I'm holding the baby." I grumbled to myself.

I practically ran out of the church and down the stairs once the service was over. That had to be the longest hour of my life. My eyes scanned the crowd that was forming on the church steps and sidewalk; Lexi and Jacob were nowhere to be found. I swallowed hard as my heart started to double-time it. I pushed my way through the crowd but they weren't here. I couldn't breathe, I had to find them, and I had to find them now. I heard Jackie tell me to calm down, that they were probably in the car. I turned, shoving people out of my way as I raced to the car leaving Jackie behind.

"LEXI!" I raged opening up the passenger door of the Impala, "DON'T EVER FUCKING TAKE OFF LIKE THAT AGAIN!"

She raised her eyebrow at me shaking her head, "You have issues, Dean."

"I do not have issues!" I snapped, "You know in THIS family you can not fucking take off God damnit! Are you trying to give me a fucking heart attack?"

Lexi smiled at me her green eyes wide and innocent, "Oh Dean, that's exactly what I want to do but actually I had to feed your son. And well, someone forgot to put his bottle in the diaper bag, Dean. You know, like I told you to. I could've let Jake scream at the top of his lungs but I figured it would be better if I nursed him in the car."

I got in the car grumbling about wanting to eat while yanking off my tie. Why any guy would where one of these monkey suits without before forced was fucking crazy in my book. We headed to the diner for breakfast, I needed coffee, it was long over due. The whole time I had to listen to Lexi and Jackie argue back and forth about how Jackie would rather hang out with me. I turned up the radio to drown them out as Lexi told Jackie as her best friend she should tell her everything I say. It didn't work, the higher I turned the volume up the louder they got. I swear, at times I felt like I had two wives.

I winced when Lexi got out of the car slamming the door in a huff. "Aren't you gonna take Jacob?"

"Why don't you get him for once?" she snapped as she stomped up the diner's steps.

Jackie just smirked at me finding it all funny, "There's laws against leaving kids in cars with the windows up."

"She's still hormonal." I tried to explain looking down at Jacob nervously. I didn't know why but he scared me more than any demon ever did. "I'm not Mr. Mom."

"Yeah, no shit. I think it's in your best interest if you take care of him right now."

"Jackie, I'm not good at it! And he wants his mom anyways."

"That's probably cause he doesn't know who you are." Jackie snorted before turning on me, "Yeah, I said it. Take care of your kid for once."

I stared at her. I couldn't believe she said that. I helped Lexi. I got up every night at two am to feed him. Jackie doesn't know jackshit. "He knows who I am."

"You pass him around an awful lot man. You take care of him without passing him off to Lexi and I'll pick up your tab. Deal?"

"Are you serious?" I laughed raising my eyebrow at her.

"Figures you'd be scared of your own kid. Ace, she's all hormonal right now and she's already pissed at you. So, do this and show her you can take some responsibility."

"I'm not scared of Jake. He's a freaking baby!"

"Then prove it." Jackie laughed handing me Jacob's diaper bag.

Jackie had some nerve. Prove it. Who does she think she is? She thinks she knows everything. She knows shit. I am not afraid of my own kid. I just, I don't know. I just get nervous when I'm left alone with Jacob. I'm just not good at this whole parenting gig. Lexi though, she was a natural at it. And me, not so much. It seems every time I pick him up he screams at the top of his lungs. As soon as Lexi takes him though, Jacob will quiet right down for her.

The waitress sat us in a corner booth in the back of the busy diner. I made sure to take my time attaching Jacob and his carrier to the highchair that the busboy brought over so that I could sit at the end of the booth. I was going to show them both that I could do this father thing. 'This is easy. I don't know what Lexi's talking about.' I thought while I ate my breakfast and Jacob slept in his carrier. As soon as I thought this Jacob let out an ear piercing scream.

"Why's he crying?"

Jackie looked up at me innocently, "Why don't you ask him?"

"He can't answer me!" I turned to Lexi my eyes wide not being able to hide my panic, "Is he hungry?"

She shook her head no sipping her coffee, "That's not his hungry cry. That's his needs a diaper change cry."

"Wait. There's a difference?" I asked confusion knotting my eyebrows together, "I thought a cry is a cry."

"Yeah man," Jackie smirked between bites of her western omelet, "now you gotta go take him to the bathroom and change him."

Lexi put her fork down sighing, "I'll do it. Let me out Dean."

"NO, no I got it." I said standing up and taking Jake out of his carrier, "I can do this."

"Dean, you need the diaper bag." Lexi reminded me in that strained I don't trust you voice, "Everything's in the middle section."

"I got it, Lex. I don't need to be Mr. Wizard to change a damn diaper."

Lexi sighed as she watched Dean head towards the men's room with Jacob. She appreciated the effort but she knew it would be a whole lot simpler and faster if she had just changed his diaper herself. "He's gonna be in there forever Jackie. I just should've taken him."

"Nah let him learn."

"What's the point? He'll be gone in five months."

"Don't talk like that." Jackie snapped while Lexi stared out the diner window miserably.

"Why not? I'm gonna have to face the fact that I'm gonna be doing this on my own soon."

"Cause he's not going anywhere."

Lexi sighed turning her gaze to Jackie, "I haven't found anything to get him out of it and chances are I won't."

"You'll find something." Jackie stated giving Lexi a small smile, "You just have to keep looking."

"I suggested we go to the crossroads and summon the demon so I can kill the bitch but he won't let me do that. He said it wouldn't do any good."

Jackie paused, sipping her coffee before speaking, "It wouldn't. She doesn't hold the contract, you know that."

"Well maybe if he let me torture her she would tell me."

"Yeah or she'll lie to you. And knowing you, you'll kill her just on principle before you even get to torture her. You'd be killing off your one and only lead."

"You all forget I can control demons." Lexi snapped her green eyes hard. A faint yellow light flashed through them as her anger peaked, "I'll just go myself."

"That's not going to do anything. It's gonna put yourself in even more danger and ruin the one link we have." Jackie stated softly as she attempted to talk some sense into Lexi, "You can't control your emotions when it comes to Ace. I know you can't. I know what he means to you. You'll see that bitch and kill her the second she popped up."

Lexi darted her eyes around the crowded diner that was filled with families coming back from church. She stared down at her hands knowing there was a very real possibility that Dean wouldn't be around much longer. She knew she had to get him out of it. It was all that she thought about now. Lexi knew she couldn't just sit by and let Dean die.

"I can get him out of it. He just doesn't want me to use my powers." Lexi pulled a face while pushing her food around on her plate mocking Dean, "They're dangerous, Lex."

"They are!" Jackie snapped frustrated with how Lexi was acting. "Will you just fucking listen to him for once? He knows a lot more about all of this than you!"

"If it keeps him from dying so what! Just because he's been doing this longer doesn't not make him the authority!"

"It means he knows a hell of a lot more about stuff like this than you or me."

"My whole family, my real family were all hunters. Its in my blood too."

"Yeah and last time I checked you didn't know any of them. You weren't raised by them."

"That doesn't mean anything!"

"Yeah it means a lot, it means you haven't been doing this as long as he has. He's actually got experience, a shit load."

Lexi and Jackie sat in silence for a few moments, neither one knowing what to say. Lexi glanced towards the Men's room her thoughts back to Dean again. Dean and Jacob were the most important things in her life and well right now she felt scared and helpless. Lexi feeling scared and helpless was not a good thing. When she felt like this she reacted never bothering to consider the consequences. All Lexi knew was she couldn't loose either one of them even if it meant sacrificing Sam. She turned her attention back to Jackie when she heard her say something about it killing Sam.

"I don't think it will kill Sam. The demons want Dean out of the picture and by saying it'll kill Sam they know he won't lift a finger." Lexi nodded sipping her coffee before continuing with her theory, "I think I know who held his contract and if I'm right I can undo it."

Jackie raised her eyebrow slightly weighing what Lexi had just stated, "I don't think they're lying about Sam dying. He's the supposed boy king, makes sense why they'd want them both gone."

"No, Sam's the antichrist supposedly. They're not gonna sacrifice him but they know Dean can keep him from turning dark side."

"I think that's before they factored in Ace having a wife and kid." Jackie said simply polishing off the rest of her food.

"They wanted Dean dead seven months ago. I was supposed to...they wanted him gone for a reason. That contract was put in place as a fall back."

"Look I spend all time thinking about this alright? Too much fucking time." Jackie snapped suddenly, "So can we just have a simple breakfast for once?"

"I can't stop! I can't let him die!" Lexi screeched slamming her hands on the blue vinyl table, "I've seen it okay! I've felt him die! I felt those hellhounds drag him to hell and I can't let it happen!"

"Then don't. You're Ms. psychic demon, you fix it with a snap of your fingers. Cause you know what? Dean's not Sam's number one priority anymore. You don't get it damnit I've been trying to tell you Sam's DIFFERENT."

"I know he's different I can feel it. You need to stay away from him, he's demonic."

Jackie stared at Lexi dumbfounded as she listened to her best friend tell her in vivid detail that Sam had left California. She didn't know what was worse, Sam stealing her beloved 1967 Mustang or that her best friend was all psychic friends network.

"He took my fucking Mustang!" Jackie growled balling her hands into fists and wishing she could tear Sam apart limb from limb.

"What's she yelling about?" I asked smiling and making faces at Jake while I put him back in his carrier.

"Your brother left and stole her car." Lexi stated before turning her attention back to Jackie, "He left it in Phoenix. It's at the Starlux Motel, right off the highway."

Jackie grabbed her bag and her studded jacket mumbling to herself, "Left my baby on the fucking highway. I'm gonna fucking find him and I'm going to kill him."

"Yeah, take on the Antichrist yourself. Real bright." Lexi snapped.

"Whatever I'll be back in a day or so."

"You're not going alone." I said dropping some bills on the table; "If he's turned you can't take him alone."

Lexi shook her head, her eyes wide. "No Dean you're not leaving too."

"I'm fine Ace. I can handle myself, take care of your wife and kid."

I had a bad feeling about all this. It didn't sit well with me. There was no way I was letting Jackie go down there alone. I sighed unhooking Jake's carrier from the highchair before looking at Jackie, "I don't like this. I'll drive you."

"You need to stay here with Lexi."

I shook my head no. It was too late I already made up my mind, "We'll all go with the way I drive we'll be back tonight."

"Its a trap for you Dean." Lexi whispered her eyes wide with fear, "Sam's gone but not all his little demon buddies."

It was settled we were all going to Phoenix together. Sam seemed to forget that I had my very own psychic freak. I didn't like having to ask Lexi to use her powers but I really didn't have a choice. I wasn't going to go in blind especially not if Lexi and Jake were with me. I listened intently as Lexi gave me the run down. If it was a trap Sam better pray that I don't make it out because if I do he's a dead man.

**Starlux Motel**

**Phoenix, AZ**

I parked across the street from the motel. I could see Jackie's Mustang in the parking lot other than that it was empty. I watched Lexi as she stared at the dingy motel. Her eyebrows were knotted together in concentration, her mouth set in a deep frown before her eyes flashed yellow once again.

"Lex?"

She turned to me her eyes their normal bright green, "They're here, Dean. They're watching us."

"How many?"

"I'm not sure exactly. Twenty maybe thirty. Sam's long gone though."

"You stay in the car Lexi."

"I'm not staying here!"

"Well, someone has to stay here with Jake!" I snapped getting out of the car to pop open the trunk, "You're that person, Lex."

Jackie sighed, her eyes darting towards the empty motel parking lot, "Why don't you stay with her Ace?"

"Because they're gonna come after me anyway." I hissed loading up on weapons while slipping an iron knife in my boot, "Sam wants to play. I'll play. I'm gonna fucking kill that jerk when I get my hands on him."

Jackie eyed me carefully as I went to work on forming a circle of salt around the Impala. If I couldn't be right here protecting my wife and son I was gonna make sure no demons could get to them.

"How're we doin' this, Ace?"

"Wing it." I opened the car door gesturing to Lexi to get in, "And you stay in this damn car."

Things didn't really work out like I planned. I thought we were in the clear when we reached the Mustang without a hitch. Of course, that's when the bastards attacked us. They came out of nowhere. We were suddenly surrounded. It didn't matter how many we wasted they kept coming at us. I don't know how many there were or how many I had killed. All I knew was I had to keep fighting.

I heard the sound of shattered glass coming from the direction of where the car was parked. I turned towards the Impala my heart beating so fast and hard, afraid of what I was going to see. That's when the demon got the drop on me. I felt his hand close in on my throat, his other hand grabbed my wrist snapping it like a twig causing me to drop my shotgun. He tightened his grip on my throat, smiling at me in that sick twisted demon way, I felt like I was about to black out. I heard Lexi scream stop but she sounded so far away.

Lexi stood mere inches away from me and the demon that had me by the throat. Her eyes hard and yellow while they scanned the frozen demons that were left. "Let him go." She commanded in a hard icy voice.

He let go of me suddenly causing me to stumble backwards. Lexi walked over asking me if I was okay. I nodded cradling my injured wrist before she turned towards the demons.

"Coming after me is one thing." She hissed, "Going after my husband and son? Big mistake."

Jackie and me stood in the parking lot stunned as we watched the rest of the demons explode in flames. Lexi had just taken out fifteen or so demons on her own and she didn't even lift a finger. My silence didn't last long though when I realized she had disobeyed a direct order. I had specifically told her to stay in the car no matter what.

"I told you to stay in the damn car, Lex!"

Jackie opened her car shaking her head at me, "She saved our ass man fuck."

"That's not the point! She's not supposed to use her powers! They're dangerous!"

"What did you expect me to do, uh Dean? Let that demon kill you?"

"Hey guys!" Jackie interrupted handing me an envelope, "This was on the dash board. It's from Sam."

I tore open the plain white envelope that had my name scrawled on it. I felt the heat rise up my neck and face as I read the message written by Sam. It was just two words. Welcome back.

"Little prick! I'm gonna kill that smart ass son of a bitch! He's dead! This was not funny!"

"No but that note was." Jackie snickered smirking at me.

"Shut up. I'm not back. I'm done."

Sam had decided that the only way to get me hunting again would be to set me up. If he were standing in front of me I would've ripped him apart with my bare hands. He put everyone in danger just to prove a point. I wanted to ignore the truth but Jackie and Lexi were both telling me Sam had changed. More to the point, Lexi told me that it wasn't Sammy's fault, that what I had brought back wasn't 100 pure Sam. Which meant I was responsible for all of this.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

**April 17, 2008**

A week after Sammy's stunt in Phoenix Lexi began circling articles in the newspaper and leaving them around for me to find. I guess it was her way of telling me to get back out there. I started hunting again. I stayed close to home and made sure to be back as soon as I could. I made Jackie stay with Lexi while I was gone. It wasn't that I thought Lexi couldn't handle herself; it was just that I didn't want her to be alone with Jake.

I had to admit it felt good to be hunting again. I wasn't taking many jobs. I was taking it slow. My first priority was still Lexi and Jacob. I started hanging out in a local hunters bar hoping to hear some news about Sam. What I heard couldn't have been right. Sam was working with demons and had killed three hunters. I laughed at the man sitting across from me. I knew my brother; my Sam wouldn't do the things he was accusing him of. I had to remind myself that the brother I grew up with was long gone.

Most people say the most memorable days of their lives are their happy ones. If that's the case I should say mine are: the first time my dad took me shooting. I bulls eyed every target, the day I walked into that diner and met Lexi, the first time I had sex with her, Lexi telling me she was pregnant with Jacob, hearing Jake's heartbeat at her second ultrasound, our wedding day and the first time I held my son. The fact is I'm not like everyone else and the things I remember the most are not these happy shiny moments in my life. What stands out for me are the darkest days, the glimpse I caught of my Mom burning, the unexpected death of my Father, finding out my Dad sold his soul so that I could live and so many more but I don't want to give the punch line away just yet.

**Monday, March 3, 2008**

The worst day of my entire life was just like any normal day. I woke up, showered and went downstairs for breakfast. Lexi had been up for a few hours already and had my coffee and breakfast waiting for me on the table. I smiled at them when I walked into the kitchen while Lexi fed Jake cereal and bananas that he had managed to smooch all over himself and his highchair. I kissed her cheek whispering,'Good morning' in her ear. Then, I turned my attention to Jake, tickling him as he cooed and smiled up at me, babbling something that sounded very much like Dada before sitting down to eat my own breakfast.

The rest of the day was normal by any standard. I went to work, did a few oil changes, did some tune ups and fixed a brake line. Lexi stopped by with Jacob in the afternoon just before my break so we could go have lunch together in the park. It was nothing big, just some chilidogs and soda from the hotdog cart in the park. I watched her pushing Jake in the baby swing as I ate. It was like watching someone else's life but I wasn't. This was my life now. I smiled to myself; I knew I was lucky to have them. I was living on borrowed time and the clock was ticking down. I only had two months until they were coming for me and I could already hear their growls. I ran my hand through my hair in frustration. I wanted normal for so long that sometimes I ached. I always thought I was going to be alone. Even when Lexi and me were in New Orleans together I thought it was only a matter of time before she left. Now, that I have normal, I got an expiration date coming up. I pushed it to the back of my mind. I didn't want to think about this anymore. I got up off the green park bench I was sitting on and headed over to the swings. I figured if I couldn't be saved then I was going to enjoy these last two months with my family. I just wanted Lexi and Jake to know that I loved them and if I had a choice I wouldn't leave them.

**Later that night**

I came home late, around 8:00 p.m. because I worked some overtime. We needed the money and I was trying to hustle pool as little as possible to make ends meet. I needed to stay under everyone's radar. I got home just as Lexi was about to put Jacob down for the night. I smiled at them both taking Jake out of her arms.

"You got him?" Lexi asked fussing with Jake's pajama sleeve.

"Yeah, I got him." I said heading upstairs with Jacob nodding out in my arms, "Right buddy? Daddy's got you."

After putting Jake to bed I went downstairs and ate the dinner Lexi had warmed up for me. I sat there eating, listening to her tell me how Jake said, 'Dada' all day, along with everything else they did today. I smirked at Lexi as she rambled on twisting her hair around her index finger. I always thought her rambling was cute and she did talk enough for the both of us. I told Lexi to go relax and that I would take care of the dishes tonight. She nodded kissing me softly and telling me to come to bed soon before she headed upstairs. I wanted to watch the rest of the game first, so I grabbed a beer turning on the TV in the living room. I didn't even make it a full quarter of the game. I couldn't fight it any longer, I closed my eyes for a moment falling asleep on the couch.

**11:45 pm**

Lexi groaned when she heard the static and Jacob's crying coming over the baby monitor. She glanced at the annoyingly bright green numbers on the alarm clock. She sighed, it wasn't like Jake to wake up before two, something had to be wrong. Lexi reached over turning on the lamp still half asleep. "Dean?" When he didn't answer she rolled over realizing he wasn't in bed with her. She sighed once again getting out of bed heading to Jacob's room, she was exhausted and for once just wanted a good night's sleep. She stopped abruptly in the doorway of the nursery when she saw Dean standing over Jacob's crib.

"Dean, is he hungry?" She asked leaning against the doorframe and rubbing her eyes with the heel of her hand.

He turned to her in the darkness placing his fingers on his lips, "Shh."

"Okay, Dean. I'm going back to bed then."

She turned, heading back to their bedroom, stopping when she heard the television still on. Lexi grumbled to herself walking downstairs, this was sort of a nightly thing for her because Dean had a bad habit of forgetting to turn the TV off. She stopped dead in her tracks once she reached the living room. Her eyes went wide in horror gasping when she saw Dean fast asleep in front of the television. Lexi turned around running back up the stairs screaming, "Jacob! JAKE!"

She skidded to halt just inside the nursery. The man that stood over the crib turned in her direction with Jacob in his arms. She took a sharp intake of breath in her surprise, "SAM!"

I jolted awake when I heard Lexi yell. I looked around realizing the screaming was coming from the nursery upstairs. I ran to Jacob's room throwing the door open my eyes scanning the dark room.

"Lex!? Lexi!?" I walked over to Jacob's crib panic taking over when I saw that the crib was empty, "Jake!? Jacob!?"

I jumped back my heart racing when the room's curtains started to burn. 'No, no, no. This is not happening. Not again.' I thought looking up at the ceiling relief washing over me when I didn't see Lexi pinned there. I looked around again noticing Lexi lying on the floor, the flames coming dangerously closer to her.

"Lexi? Lexi wake up!" I screamed shaking her roughly, "No. No LEXI!"

"Dean?" She groaned her eyes opening slightly.

"Where's Jake?"

"Sam….Sam took him. I couldn't stop him. I tried…."

"Shhh, I gotcha." I whispered picking her up and carrying her out of the house, "We'll find him."

**A few hours later**

I couldn't believe what was happening. I was handcuffed and chained to a table in one of the Lemon Grove Police Station's interrogation rooms. These idiots actually thought I started the fire and beat my wife. What they couldn't figure out is what happened to Jacob. I kept telling these morons that I never raised a hand to Lexi, that I never would do that. That's when the officer smirked at me reading off the offensives on my rap sheet. I stared dumbfounded at the cop. Domestic Abuse? He had to be shitting me. I never hit a chick in my entire life. Okay, well I did hit Meg but she was possessed.

"Let's try this again Mr, Winchester."

"I told you!" I snapped clenching my hands, "I did not hit my wife! I did not start that fire! I did not do anything to my son! My brother Sam did!"

"Right." The cop laughed, "Your brother Sam, who no one has seen in months. You telling me you didn't kill and torture all those women in St. Louis?"

I jumped out of my chair the heat rising to my face, "I DID NOT KILL THOSE GIRLS IN ST. LOUIS! I DIDN'T FUCKING HIT MY WIFE! I NEVER FUCKING HIT HER! WHY DON'T YOU FUCKING ASK HER YOURSELF YOU FUCKING MORON!"

The cop raised his eyebrow at me smirking, "Sure Mr. Winchester, you didn't do any of those things. Some temper you have there."

I sat back down in my chair realizing I had just made a huge fucking mistake. Pretty soon Henricksen will be here with the biggest hard on ever. He's gonna find someway to make these fucking charges stick and then I'm fucked. That means I'm not gonna be able to catch Sam's trail and it'd be that much harder to find Jake.

"Excuse me. I'm here to see Dean Winchester."

I looked up smiling to see Lexi standing in the doorway. She held the officer's gaze stating very clearly he was to uncuff me and let me go. I couldn't help but smile at him as he cut me loose. I knew I shouldn't be enjoying this but this was definitely a perk of having a wife that had mind control powers. Lexi waited till I was by her side before telling the cop that he never saw us and that we were never here. We walked right out of the station, not one person lifting a finger to stop us. They all acted as if we weren't even there.

"Where to now?" I asked Lexi as I leaned against the Impala.

She sighed staring at her hands, "Home. We have to get what we need out of there before the FBI goes in there. You know, your weapons, your Dad's journal, my Mom's journal clothes, pictures, Jake's things and Ozzy."

"Okay, let's go now. Then we'll find a motel and figure out our next move."

**April 17, 2008**

We went back to the house and starting packing up. I looked around realizing I didn't want to leave. This house that had overwhelmed me somehow had become my home. The first home I had had since I was four years old. And because of Sammy once again, I had to leave it. All I wanted was to give my son a normal life, a better life than I had. Now, he was gone and thanks to Sam he was thrust into a life that was going to be filled with demons and hunters. That was not what I wanted for Jake. I wanted him to have everything that I never had. I wanted him to have a home; I wanted him to have a choice in what he did with his life. All I knew was I was going to get my son back before the hell hounds came for me. Once, I had Jacob back, Sam was dead. He wasn't my brother anymore and God help me if he harmed my child. Sam wanted me back in the game, well I'm back.

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

**April 17, 2008**

I was living my life in a slow hell. The last time I saw my wife was the day after the fire. We had packed up the house and left Lemon Grove. We found some out of the way motel in Los Angeles to figure out our next move. I fell asleep with Lexi in my arms and when I woke up she was gone. At first, I thought Lexi had just gone to get us something to eat. Her clothes were still here but when morning turned into afternoon I began to panic. I tried her cell over and over again but there was no answer. I grabbed our bags and threw them into the car, something was wrong I could feel it in my bones. I searched and searched but it was as if Lexi had just vanished.

**April 16, 2008**

I had been searching California and the Southwestern states for six weeks now. There was no sign of Lexi. No trail, no nothing. Now I was back in Los Angeles just hoping that maybe she was here. I sat down on some random curb on some random street in some random Los Angeles neighborhood. I had no idea where I was and I didn't expect anyone I knew to find me there.

"What's wrong, Ace?"

"They're gone."

Jackie gasped placing her hand on my arm in something like sympathy, "Dean, I'm so sorry…"

"No. No not dead Jackie. Sam stole Jake and started the fire. I got Lexi out, she's alive. I woke up and she was gone. She won't answer her phone I think she went after Sam."

"Holy shit."

"He set me up, they arrested me." I sighed running my hands through my hair, "He hacked my police record and added some domestic abuse to the charges. The idiots thought I attacked Lexi and did something to Jake. She busted me out and disappeared the next morning."

"Well what the fuck are we still doing here?"

"There was no note this time. Lexi's just gone."

"Well c'mon get up."

"Why Jackie? I dunno where she is." I said miserably refusing to move from my spot on the curb.

"C'mon Ace." Jackie stated tugging on my arm, "It's time to go."

I stared at Jackie snapping at her because there was no one else for me to take my anger out on, "She's gone! There's no trail! I've been looking for six fucking weeks and nothing!"

"And we're gonna find her. She's not dead you idiot."

"And where am I supposed to go uh? The fucking FBI is looking for me now too. They think I tried to kill my wife and son."

"And you've dodged em all these years, we'll just dodge em some more. You get your ass up or I'm dragging you."

"He took my kid." I whispered putting my head in my hands, "He did exactly what that damn demon did twenty five years ago."

"Technically, it's not exact. Last time I checked Lexi wasn't barbequed on the ceiling."

I nodded my head letting Jackie lead me to the Impala. I knew she was right. I had to keep looking I couldn't give up. I was just missing something. I stopped, staring at my baby and felt my stomach lurch. I couldn't do this. I couldn't hunt my brother. I couldn't go down the same road my father did.

"I can't do this again."

"Yeah, well I guess it's a good thing I'm driving uh?"

We drove in silence for a good twenty minutes or so. I didn't know what to say. What could she say to make me feel better? There was nothing that she could say. I stared out the window wishing this were all some kind of bad dream. My whole life felt like one bad dream. We both looked at each other in surprise when my cell began to play Enter Sandman. I stared at the caller id my mouth opening in shock.

"It's Sammy."

"Gimmie that!" Jackie snapped snatching my phone from me as she drove, "You think you're real smooth don't you, Sammy?"

"Velvety." Sam purred in her ear.

"Pretty big leap you took, going from a shy little boy to some big bad demon. How's that working out?"

Sam gave a throaty laugh before speaking, "Ah don't be like that baby."

"Don't call me that!"

"There's no good and evil, just power. Now be a good little girl and put Deano on the phone."

"Nah see that's not gonna happen."

"No?"

"No, he doesn't need to hear from you right now."

"Oh I'm afraid he does if he wants little Jakey back." Sam sing songed happily, "Tell me how's Lexi doing?"

"I wouldn't know. My guess is she's hell bent on finding you right now. Oh look, you finally got your wish for once she actually wants you!"

"But I do! She's left quiet a mess behind her." Sam laughed again this time his voice taking on a reprimanding tone, "Tsk tsk. I thought Deano taught her to cover her tracks better."

"So, I'm guessing all those freak earthquakes were her?"

"I'm not talking about her making the earth move! She's moved on to bigger better things I'm afraid. Tell Deano to go check out that local hunter bar he likes so much." Sam snapped hanging up before Jackie had a chance to respond.

I raised my eyebrow at Jackie waiting for her to fill me in. She turned to me while stepping on the gas, "Where's the bar, Ace? The hunter's bar."

"Thirty minutes east. Why?"

"Lexi or Sam pulled something there. He said she's left quite the big mess in her wake and she's moved onto bigger and better things. And that you should stop by the hunter's bar."

I laughed nervously. There was no way she would hurt innocent people. Lexi didn't have an evil bone in her body. Sam was just fucking with me. He probably was behind whatever went down at the bar. Sam's just trying to throw me off.

**Hunter's Bar**

I stared in disbelief at the smoking rubble that was once the bar. My eyes drifted over the bodies that were scattered among the debris, I closed my eyes taking a deep breath. She didn't do this, she wasn't that powerful. I got out of the car and headed over to where the other hunters had gathered making sure to put my game face on.

"What happened?" I asked casually rubbing the back of my neck.

"Your wife came in here pissed as hell asking about your brother. When she couldn't get any information she flipped out and burnt the place down." One of the older hunters stated harshly.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I said smiling innocently at the hunter, "You must be confused."

"I think you know EXACTLY what I'm talking about. I know who you are, I knew your father, I know your brother and I know your wife Winchester." He snapped pointing towards the bodies, "She did that!"

I shook my head trying to keep my emotions in check, "Lexi couldn't do that."

"She did and you know what kid? I'm gonna give you some advice. You get the fuck out of here and you find her before some other hunters do."

"You guys think you can take her?" I snorted all but laughing in his face, "Obviously you couldn't otherwise she'd be laying here."

"There's a lot of experienced guys out there who've handled stuff like this before. People who won't see the gray areas." He stated seriously trying to drive his point home.

I heard him loud and clear. I grabbed him by the front of his shirt ready to pound the shit outta him, "You touch her and I'LL KILL YOU ALL!"

"Then you better find her and stop her before someone else does!"

"You have no idea what you're messing with!" I raged pushing him away from me.

"I don't think you do either."

I headed for the Impala grumbling the whole way. I now knew where Sam was and that meant Lexi was heading east. Playtime was over. I popped open the trunk checking my weapons. I had to be prepared for anything. I didn't know what the hell was going on with Lexi and well I was not gonna let Sam get the drop on me. I knew it might come down to me killing Sam or be killed. I wasn't gonna let the son of a bitch take me out. No way in hell. I told Jackie we were headed for Texas; she made some remark about buying me a Stetson before she realized I was dead fucking serious. She bitched at me for a good ten minutes about needing clothes and more weapons. I turned the car around and made a twenty-minute drive in less than ten minutes. We were just walking out of her apartment when my cell rang again. I swear I was gonna toss the motherfucker if it didn't stop. I glanced at the caller id but it didn't show a number. I answered it anyway thinking it might be Bobby. "Yeah?"

"Dean?"

"Lexi?" My mouth suddenly went dry. I hadn't heard her voice in six long weeks. "Where are you, baby girl?"

"I dunno."

"What do you mean you don't know? Look around, tell me where you're at so I can come get you."

"I don't know. I don't know how I got here, Dean." I could hear the panic in her voice and it made me ache to hear her so scared. "THE LAST THING I REMEMBER WAS FALLING ASLEEP NEXT TO YOU IN THE MOTEL LAST NIGHT!"

"We haven't been in a fucking motel in WEEKS."

"What are you talking about Dean? I saw you last night! I got you out of jail!"

"And you were gone when I woke up."

"What's happening? How did I get here Dean?"

"Where do you think you're at?" I whispered trying to calm her down and get her to focus on where she was. "C'mon Lex you gotta tell me so I can come find you. Please!"

"It's some back road…"

"Texas?"

"No too cold."

"Find out, Lex. C'mon I know you can do this. I need to know where you are."

I heard the gravel crunch under her footsteps before she gasped. "WHAT?"

"It's a crossroads. There's a bar. I know where I am."

"Where?"

Lexi paused briefly speaking slowly when she did, "Where you made your deal."

"Stay there! I'm coming to get you!"

**The Crossroads**

I was too late. Lexi had already summoned that bitch when I got to the cross roads. Lexi, though, was nowhere in sight. I slammed the car door heading over to that demon bitch ready to murder her with my bare hands with Jackie right at my heels.

"Well, if it isn't Dean Winchester." The crossroad demon purred, "Long time no see."

"Where is she?"

"Who?"

"My wife!" I snapped, "I'm not in the mood for games at the moment!"

"I don't know." She stated eying me carefully, "You didn't summon me?"

"No, I summoned you." Lexi stated simply walking towards us from the bar.

"What the fuck are you doing?" I yelled, "Are you INSANE, Lex?"

Lexi smiled sweetly at me purring, "Hush honey I'm about to save your life."

"This little bitch is fighting your battles for you now? Very nice Dean, very nice."

"Oh sweetie you're the bitch." Lexi stated her eyes turning yellow.

"Well, well, well it's Azazel's little girl. We were all wondering when you were gonna come home to us. Sorry, I can't help you though. I don't hold his contract."

"Then tell me who does."

"Why should I? I don't answer to you. I didn't answer to your father and I don't answer to his 'little princess' either."

Lexi sighed waving her hand and tossing the Crossroad Demon like she was nothing but a rag doll against a tree, "Lets try this again. Who holds Dean's contract?"

"Somebody you're not familiar with."

"Listen, we can do this the easy way or the hard way. And you're not going to like the hard way." Lexi hissed grabbing her by her throat, "Time to pick a side mine or the boy king's."

"He's supposed to be something." The demon laughed taunting Lexi, "So they say."

"Sam's not one of us."

"I know what he is."

"Tell me!"

"I can't help you."

Lexi let go of her growling in frustration, "I'm done playing games with you!"

"You really are stupid. I'm not trying to play games. If you can't see it you don't deserve to know."

"Who do I have to kill to get HIM out of the contract?"

"Well I guess you should've gotten daddy to show you the ropes then. He had high hopes for you, always talking about how you were going to help him bring the end of days. Ya know," she smirked, "you probably should've talked to your daddy a lot more. Then you wouldn't even be in this spot."

"Enlighten me then!"

"You'll never figure it out and they'll come for him. The hell hounds will find him. They're already coming." The demon cooed as she circled me, "I bet he can hear them now. Can't you Dean? See Dean here as been hearing them for a while. Haven't you?"

"SHUT UP BITCH!" I screamed rushing for her, "I'll kill you myself!"

Lexi held her hand up in my direction simply stating 'Stay.' I couldn't move an inch. I watched on in horror as Lexi asked to make a deal to save me. For the first time in my life I was grateful to a demon. The crossroads demon told her that there was no deal to be made to save me; that my soul already belonged to someone.

"It was all bullshit wasn't it?" Lexi raged at the demon, "To keep Dean from saving Sam. You just wanted Dean out of the way! Azazel held the contract! He held John's and he held Dean's too! DIDNT HE! WHO GETS THE CONTRACT WHEN THE DEMON THAT HELD IT IS WASTED? WHO?"

The demon smirked at Lexi raising her eyebrows. Lexi turned looking at me her face draining of all color, "I HOLD it?"

She smiled at Lexi enjoying the look on her face, "Took you long enough. Your dear old dad did want you to kill him."

"I want him released from it now!"

"I can't do a thing about it. You hold it you fix it."

"Just tell me how to release him and you can keep on making your shady deals. Don't tell and you die. NOW TELL ME OR I'LL KILL YOU AND EVERY OTHER FUCKING DEMON!"

"Alright, alright before you bring anymore unneeded attention to yourself." She sighed rolling her eyes, "It's as simple as you raising your hand, palm towards him and it will reveal the contract on Dean's arms. Then you just wipe it away."

"That's it?" Lexi laughed her eyebrow raised in suspicion.

"Yeah."

Lexi walked over to me. When she looked up at me her eyes were their normal bright green. She cupped my face in her hands saying, 'I'm sorry.' before kissing me softly. She pulled away, raised her hand to reveal the contract on my arms, then erased it. "Do you hear them?"

"No."

"Is he out? Yes or no?" Lexi asked turning to face the demon.

"Yeah, he's out, for now."

"Good." Lexi said sweetly at her before sending her back to hell with the snap of her fingers. "Bitch."

"Come on," I whispered grabbing Lexi's arm and leading her back towards the car, "Get in."

"No."

"What the fuck do you mean no? We have to find Sam!"

"No!" She snapped suddenly jerking away from me, "I'll find Sam."

"WE'LL find him. Get in the car damnit!"

Lexi backed away from me shaking her head no, "I got you out of your deal. Now I'm going to get Sam."

"GET IN THE CAR!" I shouted grabbing and shaking her, "You're not going alone! Now get your ass in the car!"

"Get your hands off me." She hissed shoving me away, "I don't need your help."

"What? I'm not letting you go off by yourself!"

"I can do this alone. You're just going to slow me down."

Jackie grabbed my arm suddenly pulling me backwards, "Ace, I think you better back off..."

"Yeah Ace, you better back off." Lexi snapped before throwing me against the Impala, "You think you can handle Sam, Dean? He'll rip you to shreds."

"We can handle him, Lex."

"Oh? Like you can handle me?"

Jackie grabbed me whispering, "Get in the car and get the fuck out of here. Don't make her mad. That's not her Ace."

"I'm not going anywhere without her." I hissed walking after Lexi. I'd be damned if I just let her get away that easily.

Lexi glared at me when I grabbed her arm, "What?"

"We're gonna take care of this."

"I told you slick I'm taking care of this. Be grateful you get to live."

"We can get it done a lot faster if you'll just come with me!"

"You don't stand a chance."

"I've dealt with a lot worse." I snapped while Lexi jerked out of my grasp, " I took your fucking father out!"

"Stay out of my way." She stated softly her eyes returning to their normal color "Don't make me hurt you Dean."

"Come with us….."

"I can't."

"I'm not letting you leave here!"

"Dean I'm sorry. You leave me no choice."

The next thing I remember Jackie was shaking me telling me to get up. My head hurt like a son of a bitch and I was slumped up against a tree.

"You ass I told you!" Jackie snapped putting her arm under my shoulder and lifting me up, "Come on."

"Where is she?"

"Gone. She flung you into that tree like you were a fucking rag doll."

"What's wrong with her?" I mumbled rubbing the knot that had formed on the back of my head.

"She's a demon that's what's wrong with her. Now, gimmie Bobby's address."

"She's not a demon! That was Lexi that kissed me. I know how she kisses damn it. She's still Lexi."

"Whatever, Ace. We can talk about this later. Just tell me how to get to Bobby's."

The ride to Bobby's was tense. All I could think about was if I had gotten there sooner Lexi wouldn't have summoned that bitch demon. I guess I should be grateful I was out of my deal but I wasn't. I just wanted my wife and kid back. I don't care what Jackie said; Lexi was still in there. She was just scared and angry. I know I could reach her and help her control her powers. I didn't care what Jackie thought, hell I didn't care what anyone thought. Lexi was not her father, she was still human. And if there was one small chance that she could be saved, well I was gonna be the one to save her. I refused to loose her too. There was no way in hell I was taking out my wife and kid. I must've fallen asleep because when I looked out the window next it was dark and I had a stiff neck. I leaned back against the seat and rubbed my eyes, "Where are we Jackie?"

"Almost to Utah."

"Oh." I whispered staring down at the small stuffed giraffe I kept turning over in my hands.

"Are you hungry?"

"No. I just wanna get there."

"You know," Jackie smirked changing the station, "we really need to get you some new tapes."

"I can't sit here and make small talk Jackie."

"Fine don't talk."

"He can't sleep without this stupid thing." I stated softly waving a little giraffe, "I told Lexi don't let him sleep with it but she did and he wants it all the time now. He always has it with him. Jake would cry if it wasn't in the crib with him. God help me if Sammy hurt him. I'll kill him with my bare hands."

"He's not gonna hurt him."

"He already has by taking him away from me and his mom! Jacob's probably scared. I can't hunt my own brother Jackie. I know he was pissed at me but steal my son? He should've just fucking killed me."

"It's not Sam anymore Ace, that's what you gotta remember." Jackie snorted as she sped up, "He'd never do something like this."

"I just want my boy back."

"You'll get him."

I nodded and turned my gaze to the window. I didn't want Jackie to see the wetness in my eyes. I didn't want her to see me break down. "He says dada now. He said it the morning of the fire for the first time. I never thought I'd live to hear it, his first word."

That's when I stopped talking and began drinking the whiskey that was in my flask. I couldn't talk about it anymore and I didn't want to think about it either. I just wanted to forget even if it was for a few hours. I leaned my head against the cool window hoping for sleep. I was exhausted.

**Bobby's House**

"BOBBY!" I smiled swaying on my feet, "Where's the whiskey?"

"Boy, I think you had enough."

"Nah never can have too much whiskey." I laughed heading for Bobby's liquor cabinet and grabbing the first bottle I saw.

Jackie sat next to me grabbing the bottle from me, "This isn't strong enough."

"You're right." I nodded, "Bobby where's the moonshine?"

"Sit down, I got something good." Jackie smiled at me, "Just stay there." Jackie came back a few minutes later handing me a bottle with clear liquor in it. "Here, white lightening."

Bobby and Jackie smiled at each other, Bobby muttering something about damn Winchesters.

"He's so wasted." Jackie hissed in Bobby's ear, "He won't realize it's water."

"So what's all this business with you getting hitched and not telling your Uncle Bobby?"

"You know now." I grunted taking a swig from the bottle.

"And a kid? What the hell Dean? I don't get a fucking phone call?"

"Nope."

"I should kick your ass just on principal alone!"

"Wha'ever….."

"What's this half demon bit with Lexi, uh? How long you've been hiding that from everyone?"

"Haven't been hidin' shit." I mumbled.

"Oh really? Don't try to con a con boy! HOW STUPID ARE YOU? SHE'S MEGAN'S DAUGHTER ISN'T SHE?"

"Yeah."

Bobby grabbed me by the front of my shirt shaking me while he flipped out, "DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY HUNTERS ARE LOOKING FOR HER? THEY'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR HER SINCE MEGAN DIED! THEY KNOW HER DAUGHTER WAS HALF!"

"Well uh," I looked Bobby in the eye giving him my best smile, "I found her."

"This isn't a game!"

"I know that!" I slurred pushing Bobby off me, "You don't think I know that?"

"Do you boy? You, damn Winchesters trouble always finds you. Now sit down and shut up. I have something to tell you." Bobby nodded sitting in the old armchair across from me, "I knew Lexi's mother, knew her uncle and grandfather too. All hunters, the Connors made you Winchesters look like the Brady bunch. Anyway, Megan worked your case. She was determined to kill that yellow-eyed bastard. When he killed her, her brother took Lexi but the demon wiped them all out. That yellow eyed son of bitch killed them all and all their contacts. By then other hunters knew what she was. They've been looking for her ever since. So, tell me how bad is she?"

Jackie and me filled Bobby in on everything that had gone down in the past six weeks. We told him how Sam was definitely full on dark side but Lexi seemed to be switching back and forth. I told him how she got me out of the deal and at times she was her normal self and that she didn't remember what she had done when her powers took over.

"This is gonna get messy." Bobby stated getting up to find some ancient text, "We have to find a way to undemonize her. No matter what she's half. That means there's still humanity inside her. Dean you might be the only one that can bring it out. You still want my help boy?"

"Yeah."

"Then you got it. I'll help you get them back."


	12. Chapter 12

**April 30, 2008**

**Lafitte's Blacksmith Shop**

**941 Bourbon St**

**New Orleans, LA**

It's been almost two weeks since I last saw Lexi. We tracked Sam down first to New Orleans. By the time we got there he was long gone. Sam though, made sure to leave me a parting gift of a dozen demons or so. We were about to leave when the freak earthquakes began and the death toll started to rise. I couldn't leave now. I had to find her. We decided to split up. I took Bourbon Street, Bobby took the riverfront and Jackie took Jackson Square.

I caught a glimpse of her coming out of The Famous Door. Lexi was hard to miss in that skintight green satin dress. She looked like she was on the prowl. I knew that she wasn't trolling for guys; she was searching for information on Sam. She stopped suddenly looking from side to side. I stepped back into the shadows hoping she didn't know I was there. I looked around the corner just in time to see her walk into Lafitte's Blacksmith Shop.

It was a small bar, a real tourist magnet, probably because there was no electricity. The whole place was lit only by candles. Also it was a good place for demons to lurk. Why did she have to be here in New Orleans? Why this bar? Was she trying to torture me or was this some twisted trip down memory lane? She must've known I was following her. Why else would she pick this bar?

I watched her every move carefully stalking her through the bar. She looked sexy as all hell but I had to keep telling myself I was on a hunt and that there was a very good chance she wasn't my Lexi. I turned in small circles my eyes darting around the bar. I had somehow lost track of her. She didn't leave I knew that much. I headed for the bar taking a seat and ordering a Whiskey neat.

"Dean?"

I turned to my right looking up at the woman standing next to me, "Lexi?"

She stared at me confusion in her green eyes, "How'd we get to New Orleans?"

I raised my eyebrows at her. On one hand this could be my Lexi standing here in front of me or it could be the demon playing me. Either way I decided to play along, "What's the last thing you remember?"

"Kissing you at the crossroads, then nothing." She stated quietly taking the seat next to me, "What's going on with me, Dean?"

"I dunno, Lex but we'll figure it out."

Lexi nodded chewing on her bottom lip. Her eyes were wide and genuinely frightened, "Is Sam here?"

"I'm not sure." I whispered putting my arm around her waist and pulling her closer to me, "How bout we get you a drink, uh? Gin and tonic?"

**An Hour Later**

She was in control for the first time that I could remember. Lexi pushed me back onto the motel bed and stood over me, hiking up her dress so I could get a glimpse of her black lace panties and garter belt. She smashed her lips against mine, dropping to her knees and straddling my waist while her hands slid over my chest, gripping both sides of my shirt before ripping it open. She ran her hands down my shoulders to my hips pulling me up so that she was sitting on my lap. Everything about her was rough, even the way her hands dug into my shoulders every time she bit her bottom lip. I brushed her hair away from her neck leaning forward to kiss the spot behind her ear that drove her crazy. Being this close to her, touching her again made me realize I was the one that needed her not the other way around. It felt like I was the one that was being fucked and I loved every minute of it.

**May 1, 2008**

"I told you it wasn't really her! You couldn't tell that was demon Lexi?" Jackie snapped while I shifted from foot to foot. "She used your one weakness against you, HER. And you're dumb ass fell for it!"

"I thought it was Lexi! She was acting like herself!"

"I told you she's GONE and what do you do, you go and fuck her!"

I couldn't help the smile that was pulling at the corner of my mouth while I shrugged, "It was hot."

"Was it hot when you woke up and found your bitch ass in an empty bed? Oh wait lemme guess you were probably expecting morning cuddles and maybe a blow job, how sweet! How'd that feel Ace?"

"Of course that's what I was thinking!" I snapped feeling my face turned red, "She's my wife! Why would I think she'd fucking take off?"

"That's cause you're a fucking delusional asshole. THAT THING IS NOT YOUR WIFE!"

"Looks like my wife, sounds like my wife, feels like my wife, smells like my wife, still my wife." I mumbled playing with my wedding band, "Jackie, you just don't get that."

"It's NOT, Ace! That's why you're gonna get fucked over. You just can't accept shit the way it is!" She snapped. I turned to her not bothering to hide the wetness in my eyes. I just didn't care if she saw how broken I was, "No don't give me that fucking look it's true. My father was killed I couldn't accept that and I got myself fucked over for what? Couldn't handle that nobody wanted to bother finding his killer. Your brother left me! You don't see me crying! Sam is GONE and so is Lexi. So, grow the fuck up and accept that or you're gonna kill yourself if you can't."

"You don't get it!" I yelled slamming my hands on the Impala's trunk, "She said all the right things. I thought she had it under control again!"

"Yeah well that's what demons do! You of all people should know that!"

I grabbed her arms shaking her my face inches from hers, "You don't think I know that? Fuck you! Excuse me for wanting to believe I had the one person that ever really mattered to me back!"

"Yeah that's your whole problem, trying too damn hard to believe."

I sat down on the side of the road in the wet grass not giving a fuck what Jackie thought of me. There was nothing she could say to convince me to gank my wife. I listened to Jackie go on and on about how if I kept thinking that I could save Lexi that she'd kill me. I shook my head no. I knew Lexi wouldn't kill me. She had plenty of chances. Hell, she could've slit my throat last night while I slept but she didn't. She didn't have to let me out of my deal either and she did. I knew she was still in there. I could see it in her eyes and hear it in her voice.

"Why you so ready to string her up uh?" I snapped glaring up at Jackie from my spot on the ground, "If she's controlled that part of her her whole life there's a chance."

Jackie set down next to me putting her hand on my arm, "You're denial is cute."

"DONT PATRONIZE ME! I KNOW SHE'S STILL IN THERE!"

"Fine Ace, she's still your perfect sweet little wife who's totally human and hasn't murdered anyone or caused full on town destructions. She's perfectly functional, my bad I'm just crazy."

"Is it so bad that she's picking off Sam's army? She just wants Jacob back."

"She's no better than he is." Jackie stated firmly while lighting a cigarette, "She's a fucking demon. Sooner you get that through your head the sooner you can get your kid back."

"HALF demon and it's my fault. I should've seen it; I should've stopped it! I couldn't protect my son! I didn't even hear Sam break in; I was fucking sleeping on the couch. This is all my fault."

Jackie sighed as she stood up looking down at me, "I'm leaving your ass on the side of the road if you don't hurry up and you realize I'll be taking your car right?"

I ignored her twisting my wedding band around my finger. What was the point in all of this if I couldn't save her? Lexi was the only thing that mattered to me, without her I was dead inside. I knew how that felt and I didn't want to feel that way again. Even if I got Jake back without Lexi it would be pointless because I would become the one thing I feared more than becoming a demon. I, without a doubt, would become my father. I would become an obsessed bastard and hunt my brother until the day I died.

"Ace c'mon we gotta go." Jackie said softly crouching down to tug on my arm, "C'mon man it's getting dark."

I jerked away from her grasp determined to stay put. "No. She wants to waste me fine. I'll sit right here till she does. I'm just fucking like him except I got my wife out of the nursery and I'm hunting my little brother. Everything I touch turns to shit."

"I'm done trying to make you feel better. You wanna believe she's still in there, that there's hope, fine you fucking sit here and wallow. It's not like you listen to anything I say anyways!"

"THEN GO!"

"YEAH MAYBE I WILL!"

"You lay one finger on her..." I seethed my fists clenched as I stood up straight bringing myself to my full height, "and I swear I will hunt you down and kill you myself!"

"I'm not interested in killing your fucking wife. I CAME BECAUSE YOU ASKED FOR MY HELP! Cause I thought my friend was still in there but she's NOT. I'm not gonna fucking sit here and listen to you whine and try and make it all better when you don't want my help."

"I have to try to save her." I whispered pleading silently with my eyes, "I can't kill Lexi, I'd rather die."

"Then you'll die…"

**Two Hours Later**

I stared down at my cell phone in disbelief when it began ringing. That sonofabitch had some God damn nerve calling me. I snapped open the phone barking, "What do you want? I don't have time for your games Sammy!"

"You mean you're actually allowed to answer your own phone?" Sam laughed loudly.

"Fuck you! Where's my son?"

"In good hands. How've you been man?"

"HOW HAVE I BEEN? YOU STOLE MY SON YOU DEMONIC SON OF A BITCH! I swear if you hurt my boy!"

"So you're not doing too hot then?" Sam purred enjoying my anger, "You think I'd hurt my own GODCHILD?"

"I'M GONNA KILL YOU! YOU HEAR ME! I HAVE A BULLET WITH YOUR NAME ON IT!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah you and Jackie and Lexi. How is she anyways? You wasted her yet?"

"Only person I'm wasting is you Sammy!"

"That's cute, using my nickname."

"Where's my son!"

"You don't need to know."

"Fuck you I don't. He's MY kid Sam NOT yours!"

"Don't be so sure about that…"

"Lexi would never let you touch her."

"I'm not talking about genetics. I know about little Jake being the antichrist. Maybe I'm just gonna keep him and raise him up as my own, have you die by his hand when he's old enough."

"You're not gonna live long enough Sam. You better hope it's me that gets to you first cuz Lexi's gonna rip you apart."

"That's if somebody else doesn't get to her first. Personally, she'd get an easy death if one of you did it cause when I do it. It's not gonna be pretty."

"Is that why you keep running from her Sammy? You scared of that little girl?"

"I like toying with the both of you, dangling your little accident in front of you both like a chew toy."

"You that jealous of me Sammy? Uh? You had to take my child?"

"Not really. It has nothing to do with jealousy. I'm just taking over Dean and he's a part of my getting more power."

"It still burns you that she never wanted you doesn't it? Especially since you were supposed to destroy the world together and all that."

"She's not in my plans. I'm gonna take her out and then I'm gonna turn your kid into a good little attack dog. Just like his daddy."

"You're not gonna take her out Sammy."

"I'll kill her right in front of you. How's that? You can watch your bitch die."

"I'd like to see you try you'll be dead before you can touch her."

"Okay Dean cause you've had such great successes in trying to kill me so far!"

"Yeah that's cuz you're hiding like the little bitch I always knew you were. Why don't you come out Sammy and fight me like a man?"

"Cause that wouldn't be nearly as much fun as waiting till the end. I wanna see the light leave your eyes."

"Nah see I think its cuz you're a little bitch! You can't take me, powers or no powers and you know it."

"Your stupid ass mind games don't work on me."

"Yeah? You're a big bad demon now, uh? Then come get me Sammy!" I shouted slamming my cell shut before Sam could answer me.

**May 3, 2008**

**Bobby's House**

I sat on the hood of the Impala drinking a six pack and just staring at the sunset. Usually being at Bobby's relaxed me but not this time. I was anxious and couldn't sit still. I had to find Lexi no matter what Jackie and Bobby thought. I knew I could save her. Sammy though? I had no idea if I could save him. I think he's too far gone now. That last phone call from him got to me more than I'd like to admit. I sighed running my hands through my hair remembering how this all really began. It wasn't a recent thing, no this rift between me and Sam started eight years ago.

**Ashland, WI**

**Prom After Party**

**May 26, 2000**

I walked through the party in search of Lexi and her date. I was curious to see if she was with who I thought she was with. I found her easily enough. She was sitting alone, beer in hand, in a short black lace strapless dress. I stood there my hands shoved in my jeans pockets just watching her. Lexi suddenly turned her head in my direction, her face breaking out into a huge smile as she walked over to me.

"What are you doing here?" She asked me all smiles and dimples.

"Got bored waiting around. Besides," I shrugged, "I wanted to see who you were ditching me for."

"I didn't ditch you. He's just a friend." Lexi's eyes darted around the crowd in search of her 'date'. She nodded pointing to Sam. "He's over there."

I looked over to Sam and couldn't help myself. I just started laughing and couldn't stop. Lexi stared at me her eyebrows knotted in confusion. "Let's get outta here. He won't mind."

"What? I just can't leave without telling him."

"Sure you can. Trust me he'll be fine with it." I looked down raising my eyebrows at her, "This belong to you Cinderella?"

She nodded her head as she glanced at the shoe I held in my hand. I knelt down helping her put her shoe back on. I stood up and just stared at her for a moment or two. I smirked at Lexi calling her 'Cinderella' again before turning serious. I suddenly wanted to kiss her. I licked my lips slowly before leaning in pressing my mouth to hers. I cupped her face in my hands deepening the kiss as Lexi pressed up against me. I wanted her so bad but I didn't want Sammy to throw some huge fit when he realized I just came and stole his date right from under his nose.

I pulled away resting my forehead against hers, "Let's go somewhere more private."

"Okay..."

**An Hour Later**

**Lake Superior**

We ended up at Lake Superior with a couple of 12 packs and a blanket. We sat there in silence for a while drinking beer. I was nervous. I've never been nervous with any chick before but there was just something different about Lexi. I actually gave a shit what she thought about me. Lexi wrapped her arms around herself shivering, I took off my leather jacket slipping it around her shoulders and pulling her closer to me.

"That better, Lex?"

She nodded slightly clearing her throat, "So, um I heard you don't usually date."

"I don't."

"I'm glad you asked me out."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." Lexi whispered biting her lower lip, "I was about to give up on you."

"Yeah, I know. You made it obvious with the cold shoulder bit."

"Do you um go to college or something?" She asked taking another swing from her beer bottle.

"No."

"What do you do?"

"I go around." I stated simply shrugging my shoulders, "That's it."

"Where are you from? I know you're not from here they said you moved here a year ago."

"Everywhere."

She nodded as she sighed, "Same it totally sucks. I'm always the new kid, never around long enough to make any friends."

"Fuck that it doesn't matter."

"Maybe not to you. I'm an only child too so yeah moving every six months bites. My dad finally retired from the Marines and decided to move to this wonderful place because apparently I get into too much trouble."

"That sucks." I laughed raising my eyebrows, "Yeah I can see that. You look like trouble."

Lexi pushed me lightly trying to act all offended, "Hey!"

"You seem like one of those crazy ass kids, gives their parents hell, and comes home with hickeys all over the place."

"Takes one to know one and I did way more than that."

"You know you don't have to try so hard, all this shit about coming home with hickeys. I don't care about that. I've fucked a few librarians in my day."

"I am SO not a librarian. I can't help it if trouble finds me. And you Dean Winchester," Lexi laughed poking my arm, "are trouble."

"I'm lots of things."

"So I've heard. What are you doing hanging out with me?"

"I dunno…."

"I'm total jailbait." She smirked holding up her bottle of beer, "And you're so corrupting a minor."

"You gonna blab about it? Cause I can be gone from the face of this planet in two seconds flat."

"Of course not!"

"Alright then shouldn't matter."

"I'm not boring you am I? Cuz I tend to talk way too much and its okay ya know to tell me to be quiet…"

"Nah, you talk enough for the both of us."

I smiled at her as she inched closer to me. No one could say Lexi was shy; this girl was like me. She knew what she wanted and she wasn't afraid to let me know.

"Are you ever gonna make a move?" She questioned me her eyebrow raised as she rubbed my thigh in slow circles.

"Not right now." I smirked watching the way her mouth twitched slightly.

I caught her off guard grabbing her suddenly while tangling my hands in her hair and pressing my lips to hers greedily. She climbed onto my lap rubbing the back of my neck never once breaking the kiss while I ran my hands to her hips pulling her even closer against me. Things heated up between us quickly. I wanted her so bad, I wanted to fuck her right then and there but I didn't want it like this. I didn't want to when she was drunk. I never cared about whether some chick was drunk before but I actually liked Lexi. I didn't know what it was about her. All I knew was that I didn't wanna fuck and run this time. That right there scared the shit out of me.

**The Next Morning**

**8 AM**

Me and Lexi stayed out all night. We just hung out by the lake drinking, talking and doing other stuff. We sat on the hood of the Impala, Lexi in my leather jacket and me with my arm around her waist, watching the sun come up. Never once did I think of Sam and the shit I was gonna have to deal with when I got home. I knew what I did was fucked up but really I didn't care. We clicked and Sam was gonna have to get over the fact that Lexi didn't want him.

I was relieved to see my dad wasn't home yet from his latest hunt. That meant that I wasn't going to have to hear him go on and on about how I disobeyed a direct order by leaving Sammy alone. What my father didn't get was that Sammy could handle himself. Yes, protecting my little brother was my job but sometimes I need to have some fun. Now, last night, that was fun.

I hoped Sam was still asleep as I tiptoed into the apartment. I didn't feel like listening to him bitch about what a horrible brother I was. I know I'm not the best brother in the world but I've never been an angel either. There Sam was, lying on his bed just staring at the ceiling in the bedroom we were forced to share in this shitty little apartment. Of course, I couldn't keep the huge ass smile that was on my face when I heard Sam do his bitchy huff thing.

"What crawled up your ass Sammy? Date didn't go well?"

"What date?" Sam snapped sitting up and glaring in my direction.

"Didn't you take that girl to the prom?"

"OH! You mean the one you STOLE FROM ME AT THE AFTER PARTY? YEAH Dean, I fucking took her to the prom and then you showed up and ruined everything like you always do! She's sixteen man, fuck's sake you're TWENTY ONE can't you find some chick your own age?"

"You've been crushing on Lexi?"

"Oh no, the Lexi I've been talking about all this time was ANOTHER Lexi. Oddly enough she looks just like the very same Lexi you left with."

I shrugged throwing my jacket and keys on my dresser. I smirked turning in Sam's direction pulling off my shirt to make sure he got a good view of the hickeys going down my neck, stating innocently, "I didn't know it was the same girl. I've been talking to her for awhile."

"I don't give a shit. I KNOW you knew she was with me!"

"She's way outta your league Sammy." I said simply before climbing into my bed, "I didn't force her to leave with me. I asked her if she wanted to go somewhere more private obviously she did."

"Why were you even there? Is that you're new thing? Picking up high school girls?"

"I asked her out. She told me she was going to prom. I heard about the party and went to see if she was there." I propped up on my elbow a huge smile breaking out over my face, "That girl's got a talented mouth, best fucking blow job I've ever got."

"Shut the fuck up! I can't wait to get the hell out of here!" Sam snapped rolling over and turning his back to me.

"Why cuz I fucked your wanna be girlfriend?"

"No, because I'm tired of looking at your sorry ass face everyday. I'm leaving the second I get accepted into a college. I'm gone."

"You done bitching?"

Sam turned his head towards me snorting, "Just so you know I think you're a horrible brother! NOW, I'm done."

"Good I can sleep in peace now, bitch."

"Jerk."

**Later that night**

I let Sammy get his shots in while I got ready to take Lexi out. He snickered and laughed at the fact that I had shaved, put gel in my hair and was wearing my good clothes, accusing me that I was trying to look presentable for a girl. Maybe I was. I mean, I've never actually taken a chick out on a date unless dragging them into the men's bathroom in some dive bar counted as a one. Hell I even kept my mouth shut when he asked if I was meeting the parents tonight. After all, I did deserve it and more.

"You really like her, don't you, Dean?" Sam teased me following me outside.

"SHUT UP SAMMY!" I snapped slamming the Impala's door and giving him the stink eye for good measure.

**Brennan Residence**

**1642 Maple Street**

I sighed looking up at the black shuttered white house praying Sam was wrong about the meeting the parent's thing. For one, parents don't like me and two her father probably had a bullet with my name on it all ready for me. I grumbled to myself as I made my way up the walk. Why did I say I would pick her up? I could've just met her at the diner for Christ's sake. Damn I'm an idiot. Before I even got half way up the walk Lexi came bursting out the front door in my direction her long brown hair flying behind her.

"BYE!" She yelled hooking her arm through mine before smiling up at me, "Hey. Come on lets go."

"Why you in such a hurry?"

"Um you don't need to meet my parents."

"Your parents are here?" I questioned as my eyes drifted over her, "They let you dress like this?"

"Shut up." Her eyes suddenly went wide dragging me towards the Impala, "Oh, shit."

I looked from Lexi to the older man that was heading our way and back again, "Who's that?"

"Dad...Dean. Dean...Dad."

"Hey." I stated holding out my hand to shake her father's. He just stood there glaring at me. I pulled my hand back squaring my shoulders. I was not going to let this dickhead think he could intimidate me. I raised my eyebrows giving him the 'What's your problem.' look.

"How old are you?"

"Twenty one, Sir."

"Isn't she a little young for you, Son?" Her father sneered not bothering to hide his dislike for me.

"No, Sir. She doesn't seem like she's sixteen."

"Lexi get in the house!"

"DAD!"

I threw my hands up in mock defense smirking at him the whole time, "Whoa! Hey that's a compliment, Sir."

"You're sixteen years old, Lexi! He's way too old for you!"

"Dad stop it!"

"If you knew half the crap those kids in that school got up to you wouldn't be worried about my age." I smirked at him wiggling my eyebrows slightly, "Don't worry I'll take good care of her and have her back by twelve."

"Eleven."

"Eleven?! Dad, my curfew isn't until two!"

"It's eleven if you're with him, young lady!"

"Yeah Dad, because me being home by eleven doesn't mean I'm not gonna screw him at ten!" Lexi snapped folding her arms in front of her chest.

"You lay one finger on her…."

"Yeah, yeah." I snorted rolling my eyes. Like I was really afraid of this guy. "You'll have me dead in a ditch. I know how it goes."

"Just bring her home at a decent hour."

"Twelve good for you?"

"Fine."

"Alright then."

"I better not get another call that you're at the police station young lady."

"Whatever." Lexi sighed as she tugged my arm signaling it was time to go. "Sorry about that. He's still under the impression that I'm an innocent little girl."

"Please, after living with my dad no one scares me. He's like John Winchester light."

"Oh he was being nice."

"I figured as much." I said simply holding open the passenger door for her.

She stopped turning to me her eyebrow raised, "You're not seriously bringing me back by twelve are you?"

"I dunno, depends on how well this whole thing goes."

"So we're we going?"

"This place that's too shitty to card."

"Nice."

**Tommy's Bar**

**9:00 p.m.**

I was having a good time with Lexi. She was funny and a damn good pool player. The little bitch even hustled me. Pulling the old, 'How do I hold this stick thingy' before kicking my ass and taking my money. It was all good though; I got my money back playing darts. She wasn't a very skilled darts player. Hell, who cares dressed the way she was in a pair of tight black pants and sheer top with a black lace bra underneath. I was just enjoying the view. Things got even better about an hour and a few shots of tequila later.

"Easy." I laughed holding Lexi arms length away.

She giggled pressing herself up against me. She snaked her hands up under my shirt and nibbled on the shell of my ear purring, "Take me somewhere..."

"Somewhere?"

"Hmm mmm, come on."

"Where do you wanna go?" I whispered leaning down to suck the spot on her neck that met her shoulder knowing full well that one spot drove her crazy, "Hmm?"

"Anywhere, back seat of your car will do."

"Not the car, I don't have a towel to put on the seat. The car's my baby. I don't want her getting dirty."

"You're place?"

"Can't do my place."

"Why not?"

"Sam's there. I don't have a problem fucking with him in the house but you know you two know each other."

"Where we going then?"

"I dunno."

**Shore Point Motel**

**10:30 p.m.**

We barely got in the room before we began tugging at each other's clothes. The room was dank and smelled like mold, your typical motel six but it would have to do for tonight. I pushed her down on to the bed kissing and nibbling on her neck. If last night's blow job was an indication of how tonight was going to be I was about to have some of the best sex I've ever had.

Lexi pulled back slightly chewing on her bottom lip, "I've never done it before…"

"Uh? Nah, no, no way."

"Never." She whispered looking away from me, "I've done other things just not that."

"Huh. You sure? You're not fucking with me?"

Lexi pulled me closer to her looking up at me innocently, "I'm not fucking with you."

I just shrugged and began kissing her again. 'So, what she's a virgin.' I thought. 'A hot willing virgin.' I smiled to myself before helping her pull her sheer top over her head. I leaned forward kissing her throat before running my tongue along her collarbone. She started moaning softly as I took my time kissing down to her chest. I loved foreplay and I was going to enjoy every minute of getting her all worked up. I moved back up to kiss her some more but she was out cold.

I shook her gently trying to wake her up, "Lex?"

I tried a few more times but she was passed out cold. Truthfully, I was sort of relieved. I didn't want to do her while she was shit faced especially now that I knew she was a virgin. I wasn't that big of a scumbag.

**May 3, 2008**

**Bobby's House**

I'm a moron. I've had the way to save her along. I ran back inside Bobby's house clutching Megan's journal in my hands. I knew I held the key to saving Lexi. It was all in her mother's journal, the ritual and the tonic. It was supposed to be able to bind and dispel demonic powers; it was kinda like an exorcism but more powerful. It was the same ritual Megan had used to destroy Azazel's corporal form. I was hoping since Lexi was half human that it would just destroy her demonic powers.

Bobby and Jackie were still trying to talk me out of it as I began drawing the symbol of Azazel on the floor to summon Lexi here. I sat the three candles in the circles along with the Oil of Abramelin, Yarrow and Mandrake. I grabbed the knife that was sitting on the floor next to me slicing the palm of my left hand. I let my blood spill over the candles and the herbs that were in the three smaller circles. I closed my eyes as I began the chant: _Incendia quod terra , audite meus vox. Ego excito a everto ex atrum terra._ _Tribuo mihi iam meus pectus pectoris votum. Quis Ego dico domus , addo hic volo ut ego mos. Ego invite suus in meus orbis_. The candles and lights began to flicker as I continued chanting: _Incendia quod terra , audite meus vox! Ego excito a everto ex atrum terra! Tribuo mihi iam meus pectus pectoris votum! Quis Ego dico domus , addo hic volo ut ego mos! Ego invite suus in meus orbis!_

A strong wind blew through Bobby's house blowing out the candles at the same moment the electric went out. When the lights came back on Lexi was in the middle of the circle pissed as all hell.

"DEAN!"

"Hi baby girl." I smiled at her as I stepped back from the sigil I had drawn on the floor.

"Why did you summon me?"

"I found a way to save you."

"DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU JUST DID? I HAD SAM! I ALMOST HAD JACOB! AND YOU SUMMON ME TO SAVE ME? I DON'T NEED SAVING!" Lexi raged as she tried to step out of the circle but couldn't. She looked up at the ceiling before turning to me her lips curled up in snarl, "Devil's trap?"

I shrugged smiling innocently at her, "Well baby girl, I didn't think you'd be happy to see me."

"You're damn right I'm not happy to see you." Lexi looked up at the devil's trap as the room began shaking violently causing the ceiling to crack. She glared at me sending me flying into the wall behind me. "I told you to stay out of my way."

I laughed at her while I rubbed my head, "You were never strong. You're weak, you always were a good little submissive bottom."

"Weak?" She grabbed me by my throat lifting me several inches off the floor, "I'm not weak! I'm not that little girl you thought you could toy with."

"Sure you are." I choked, "Just because you got those skanky demon powers doesn't mean you're strong."

"I'm gonna kill you Dean." She hissed grabbing my left wrist and snapping the bones as if they were nothing, "But first I think I'll torture you nice and slow."

"Oh I don't think so." Jackie stated calmly pointing the colt at Lexi, "I'll kill you first."

Lexi turned to look at Jackie smirking. She let go of me suddenly disappearing into thin air. I glared at Jackie as I held my injured wrist. "What the hell, Jackie! I had everything under control!"

"Sure you did, Ace. That's why you have a broken wrist now, right?"

I let Bobby set my wrist even though I just wanted to go after Lexi. I had come this close and already had the tonic. There was no way I was letting her get away. I was going to save her whether she liked it or not. As soon as he was done I snatched the tonic, the journal and the colt and headed for the nearest bar. The whole way Jackie was telling me to prepare myself for killing Lexi. I knew it wouldn't come to that. Tonight I was bringing my wife home.

**Westy's Bar**

I found her in the back of the bar. She was in the middle of hustling some poor kid at pool. I waited patiently for her to finish her game before grabbing her elbow and leading her over to a darkened corner booth.

"Dean just leave me alone, okay." She snapped when I forced her into the booth.

"I thought vip demons like yourself didn't have to stoop to hustling pool for money."

She rolled her eyes at me twirling a piece of her long brown hair around her finger, "I wasn't hurting anyone. I was just blowing off steam."

"Okay fair enough." I nodded placing the glass bottle of tonic on the table, "Drink this."

"I'm not drinking that shit."

"Please, just drink it. It'll help."

"It's not gonna help me."

"Yes it is. It'll take away your demon half then we can get Jake back TOGETHER."

"NO you just want your mousy little wife back!"

I ran my hand over my face. I was frustrated. This was not going how I planned at all. I knew she was in there. Why did this have to be so hard? I took a deep breath to calm myself down before I continued.

"I want my family back. I know you're in there Lex, just drink this."

"So you can play the big hero?"

"No God damn it. So, we can get him back together! Fuck it'll be easier this way."

"Yeah for you! I don't wanna give up my powers."

"Can't you see what they're doing to you?! They've turned you into a fucking monster!"

"Says you."

"What do you plan on doing with our son once you get him back uh? You're acting like a demonic son of a bitch and you're going to what, you're going to raise him to be that way to? Huh?"

"It's who he's meant to be."

"No it's not!"

She smirked at me enjoying the moment, "Yes it is. Sam's not the Antichrist, Dean. Jacob is."

"Not if I get to him first!"

I snatched the tonic off the table and headed outside where Jackie was waiting for me. It was time for plan b. Plan b being Jackie holding Lexi down while I shoved this shit down her throat and said the incantation. We waited an hour or so for Lexi to finally leave the bar. I nodded to Jackie who knocked her to the ground and held her there.

"Ace, hurry up!" Jackie yelled struggling to keep Lexi on the ground as she pried open her mouth.

I straddled Lexi pouring the bluish black tonic down her throat and began the chant: ' _Permissum suum vox haud diutius exsisto. Reverto lemma iam. Ex unde they venit , Abolesco lacuna , Abolesco vox._ '

Lexi began choking and shaking violently beneath me her eyes rolling up into the back of her head. I knew it wasn't over yet, according to her mother's journal red smoke would be released from her mouth. I continued the chanting louder this time. ' _Permissum suum vox haud diutius exsist!. Reverto lemma iam! Ex unde they venit , Abolesco lacuna , Abolesco vox!'_

Lexi became still arching her back as a rush of red smoke left her mouth. She sat up and immediately began coughing. When the coughing fit slowed, she looked around confusion clouding her eyes. "Dean?"

I rubbed her arms speaking softly, "You remember anything?"

"No. Where am I? Where's Jake?"

Never one to hold back, Jackie informed Lexi exactly what she had been up to. "You've been doing a shitload of damage these past couple of weeks. Killing people, almost wiped out Ace and me. And Sam has Jake."

"What?" Lexi laughed nervously looking at me for an explanation, "No….."

"Your powers took over, baby."

"No."

"Lex, they did." I said gently wrapping my arms around her. "Everything's okay now though. I saved you."

Jackie glared at us both her eyes hard; "There's a whole trail of destruction in your wake if you don't believe us!"

"The fire!" Lexi stated somewhat hysterically her eyes wide and scared, "Dean, Jake was in the crib!"

"He's gone Lexi. Sammy came and uh….Got him I've been trying to get you back to normal all this time."

"No, no you're lying!"

"Do you see Jake anywhere? Huh? You see that we're anywhere near home? He's GONE Lexi and we're gonna get him back."

She covered her face with her hands, shaking slightly, "He can't be gone….."

"He is."

I watched Lexi silently as she stood up taking in her surroundings. She looked confused and upset. I didn't know what else to say to her. There was nothing to say to make this go away. I just told her that our son had been kidnapped by my demonic brother and she had been on a murder spree. There's nothing I could do to make it all better. She looked around one last time before she turned her back to us and began walking towards the highway.

"Where you goin'?"

"To find my son!"

"We'll get him back, c'mon get in the car."

Lexi blinked rapidly at me when she realized she couldn't prevent me from dragging her to the Impala. "What did you do to me?"

"They're gone."

"WHAT? Why? How? Sam's evil and I'm defenseless!"

"Don't worry about Sam. I'll take care of him. And Jake, we'll get him back. I promise."


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

**May 5, 2008**

It had been two days since I bound Lexi's powers. She's been distant and quiet only speaking to me and Jackie when absolutely necessary. The rest of the time she spent huddled up by herself against the passenger door of the Impala or the corner of the motel couch. Lexi wouldn't even let me touch her, flinching every time I tried. The only thing she paid any attention to was our nine-month-old blue pit bull Ozzy. I sat on the bed watching her as she scratched him behind his ears; this wasn't how it was supposed to be.

"Jackie has she said anything to you?" I hissed nodding in Lexi's direction.

"Nothing."

"Same here. You um wouldn't be pissed if I um," I shifted uncomfortably on the lumpy motel bed as I rubbed the back of my neck, "asked you to take off for a few hours would you?"

"There's a bar around here isn't there?"

"Yeah I um wanna try to talk to her."

Jackie nodded standing up and taking the keys to the Impala that I handed her, "Alright, I'm good then."

"Thanks."

I ran my hands down my face darting my eyes around the dingy motel room. It had to be one of the worst places I've ever stayed in. It was stuck in the 70's burnt orange shag rug and all. The bedspreads, couch and arm chairs were all a shit color brown with the same burnt orange and gold pillows. Hell, they even had one of those sun looking clocks with gold and brown spikes on the wall.

I walked over to where Lexi was sitting on the couch staring at the TV my hands shoved in the pockets of my jeans, "Lex?" She looked up at me for a second before turning her eyes back to the TV. "Lexi?"

"Hm?"

"Talk to me."

She ignored me turning the volume of the TV up. She got off the couch and went into the little kitchenette acting as if she was all alone in the room. Lexi flopped onto the couch with a can of diet coke and holding out a bag of honey barbeque chips to me, "You want?"

"No." I paused watching her carefully, "You remember anything?"

"Wh-what?"

"Do you remember?" I repeated softly. Lexi wouldn't look me in the eye instead she dropped her gaze to her hands, "You do, don't you?"

"Bits of it." She said softly biting her lip as she turned to look at me sadly, "I hurt you. I did that to your wrist."

"Whatever doesn't matter."

"Yeah it does. Guess you were wrong about me. You said I wasn't evil."

"You're not." I stated firmly putting my arm around her shoulders, "Those powers aren't coming back."

"How do you know?"

"Cause I bound them."

"And it can't be undone?"

"No Lex, it can't."

"You don't understand….."

"Tell me then."

"It felt good." She looked down speaking so softly I had to strain to hear her, "I did horrible things. I killed people Dean."

"Well you let your demon half take over."

"That's just it." She shook her head ringing her hands, "It's part of me."

"You're fine now."

"I'm not fine okay. I... it's not okay what I did."

"I'm not saying it is. Your powers are gone so you don't have to worry about going evil again. THAT is okay."

"I was gonna torture and kill you. You, Dean......my husband.....my......"

I just nodded my head; there was nothing I could say to make all her pain go away. I wish I could. I wasn't able to protect her but I'd never let that happen again. Now that I was out of my deal things were going to be different. I was gonna take care of Sam, get Jake back and go find us a place to live. Somewhere nice, somewhere that Jake could have the normal childhood with friends and birthday parties that I never had.

"I almost had him. Now what chance do we have?" She asked me her eyes wide, "Sam's gonna kill you, you know that right?"

"No he won't, I'll kill him first. And I'm gonna get our kid back. Don't underestimate me, okay. I took out your damn father; I sure as hell can take Sam out. I'm gonna handle this."

"You should've let me handle it. I stood a chance at least."

"Yeah and then you would've raised our kid up as a fucking antichrist and come after me. I don't think so, Lex."

"I didn't wanna hurt you."

"Yeah well you would've and I never would've gotten to see my kid again. So yeah Lex, you DID need saving. You were in trouble."

"I still am, Dean! You can't fix this!" She stated jumping off the couch running her hands through her hair, "I KILLED those hunters! I KILLED innocent people! I'm what you hunt!"

"Hey, hey." I said quietly pulling her into a hug, "I'm gonna help you. It'll be okay, I promise."

"How can you still want to be with me after everything I did?"

"Cause I love you and you're my wife."

Lexi nodded pressing closer against me. I took that as a good sign. I sat back down on the couch and pulled her onto my lap wrapping my right arm around her waist while I rubbed her bare legs with my left hand. "It's gonna be okay."

"Yeah?" She whispered leaning into me, "Promise?"

"Yeah, I promise."

I squeezed her tight burying my face in her neck breathing her scent in. She smelled so good like the beach. I kissed her neck making my way up so I could chew on the shell of her ear. Hmmm, tasted good too, like coconut.

"Oh you're my cuddle bunny again?"

"Don't call me that. I don't cuddle."

"You so cuddle." Lexi giggled rubbing the tip of her nose against my cheek, "Hmmm is that why I wake up and you're laying all over me?"

"I can't control that….."

She laughed shifting slightly on my lap, "Oh right. And what's the whole waking up thing if I get out of bed? Uh?"

"This conversation is over." I mumbled in between kisses, "We're all alone, there's better things we could be doing."

We stayed like that for a good two hours or so watching dumb horror movies on pay per view. This had its perks, one of them being the way she pressed up against me whenever she got scared. It felt like we were almost back to normal huddled up in front of the TV together eating junk and making fun of the movies.

Jackie came back to the room sober three hours later with a sour look on her face. She flopped on her bed rolling her eyes at us, "Should I get another room?"

Lexi turned to her confused, "Why would you need another room? Did you meet someone?"

"Forget it." Jackie snapped kicking off her shoes, "I met a lot of people didn't go with any of them."

"You think?" Lexi gasped her eyes wide as she looked at me shaking her head, "No, that's NOT happening."

"WHAT?" I asked her totally lost, "What's not happening?"

Lexi untangled herself from me mumbling and heading for the bathroom, "We're not having sex, not happening."

I shut off the TV throwing the remote down on the coffee table. Jackie just had to come in and ruin everything. I stomped over to the bed throwing my clothes in a pile on the floor before pulling back the ugly brown comforter and climbing in.

Jackie rolled over before propping up on her elbow, "Pissy much?"

"Shut up! She's acting like I got the damn plague!"

"Whatever Ace. It's not like she's just gained control of her body or anything you know. She hasn't just gone through a traumatic experience. Heaven forbid she fucks your sorry ass!"

"First she wouldn't talk now, she won't let me touch her….."

"Give her some time."

"Yeah what about me?" I snapped pounding the lumpy pillow trying to get comfortable, "Not like she didn't try to kill me or anything."

"You're a lot stronger than her and you weren't out there destroying things and killing people."

"Yeah well, I missed her. I just want to get back to normal, find my son and go home."

"Good luck."

"You don't think we can?"

"I think it's going to be very difficult and it's going to take a lot longer than you think."

"But I saved her!"

Jackie shook her head stating softly, "Doesn't matter, Ace. Sometimes it takes more than that."

"Guess I'll sleep on the freakin couch," I sighed grabbing a pillow and blanket off the bed, "since she needs TIME."

"I doubt she's that bad. She was just fine with you over there on the couch."

"I wanna be close to her."

Jackie smirked at me her eyebrows raised slightly, "How sweet."

"Shut up! You repeat that Jackie and I'll kill you."

"And I'm going to repeat it to who? Cause you know I talk to so many other people who also know you and you're emotionally stunted self."

"I am NOT stunted!"

"Emotionally stunted, Ace. You know what that means?"

"Yes I know what it means! I just don't like chick flick moments."

"Yeah that's called being emotionally stunted." She smirked pointing at herself and then me, "Me and you; the fucking world could be falling down and we wouldn't even blink. That's not normal. We're not normal."

"I'm completely normal. Except for the fact that my wife and kid have demon in them. Oh and my brothers a demonic sonofabitch too. And I hunt things that go bump in the night...completely normal. Yup normal, freakin apple pie normal!"

I sighed staring at the bathroom door. Lexi had been in there for over an hour. I wanted to go kick the door in but Jackie told me that wasn't a great idea. Especially if I was trying to give Lexi space. Well, screw that. I got up heading for the door when Jackie began cracking up. Anything could've happened. She could've been snatched by some demon or went out the window. I was about to bang on the door and threaten Lexi with breaking it down when she came out.

"I'm fine. I took a bath sheesh. Two months of destruction and death leaves a lot of grime." Lexi stated simply getting into bed and turning her attention to Jackie, "Did you happen to get any leads on Sam, Jackie? Dean, are you coming to bed or not?"

"Yeah a couple." Jackie smirked at me while I climbed in next to Lexi, "Told you so."

Lexi relaxed leaning against the pillows giving me a weird look, "Do I smell or something?"

"Ace is afraid to touch you cause he thinks you're treating him like he has the plague."

"Sorry um demon half took over and was gonna kill you. I didn't think you really wanted me touching you." Lexi rolled her eyes at me opening her arms, "Come here."

I smiled at her resting my head against her chest while she reached up tangling her fingers in my hair. Lexi ran her other hand up and down my arm slowly as she questioned Jackie on her leads.

"Last time I checked, Lexi, he was in Phoenix."

"Why Phoenix?"

"I'm not sure yet. Hey Ace, you ever come across any hunters in Phoenix?"

"Some…." I yawned.

"Any who helped you?"

"Not me personally. My dad though, they were his connections."

Jackie grabbed her laptop off the floor looking at me waiting for me to continue, "Gimmie names."

"Scott Thompson, Toni Brown and Jimmy Smiths."

"Ok that's it?"

"Yeah can I sleep now? Haven't slept in two months…"

"Get it while you can cause we're going to Phoenix tomorrow."

Dean didn't hear everything Jackie had stated. He was already fast asleep resting his head against Lexi's chest. She played with his hair watching his chest rise and fall in a slow rhythm. Lexi always liked to watch Dean sleep, it was the only time he looked peaceful.

"Anything else Jackie?"

"What do you mean?"

"On Sam?"

"Not yet."

"Oh." Lexi paused looking at Jackie, "Have they gone head to head yet?"

"Almost…"

"He's gonna kill Dean. Sam knows how rash he is. He's going to use it against him."

"Ace'll take care of it."

"I know where Sam's going. He's going to open the devil's gate that's in Phoenix. He's going to need the colt."

"Yeah. Lexi, get some sleep."

**May 6, 2008**

**Phoenix, AZ**

I was antsy the whole ride to Phoenix. I was about to get my son back but to do that I knew I had to take Sam out. I parked the car and stared at the cemetery. I didn't like this, it was too quiet. There were no demons outside watching the perimeter, not Sam's style. Unless he was that cocky to think he could take me out that easily, that sonofabitch. He needed the colt to open the gate, well he wasn't getting it.

The plan was for me to go in first alone with the colt to find Sam while Bobby, Jackie and Lexi would go in after to get Jacob. We're all loaded up and ready to go. I turned to Lexi hugging her close to me, "No matter what happens to me you get Jake out of here. You hear me?"

"Dean….."

"No, Lex, promise me."

"Okay." She whispered squeezing me, "You be careful."

I flashed her my best smile as I let go of her, "This is cake. Come on, it's Sam. We all know what a bitch he is."

**Sam's POV**

I'm not evil. In my opinion there is no good or evil just power and it's all about who has the most power. Dean told me once I had to face up to who I really am. Well, this is who I am, who I was meant to be. And Dean, well he took what was supposed to be mine. The way I look at it I didn't steal Jacob, I was just taking back what belonged to me. Jacob and Lexi were destined to be mine. Of course, Dean had it all wrong like always. I wasn't going to hurt sweet little Jacob or Lexi. I needed them. I needed them for power. See, what my thickheaded brother didn't understand was that this was fun for me. Watching him tailspin gave me more satisfaction then anything in this world. He abandoned me when I needed him most. And this? This was payback. This was the beginning of his end. Today, Dean is gonna die.

**Dean's POV**

I entered the crypt slowly my sawed off raised, cocked and loaded. Only one of us was getting out of here alive and I knew it was going to be me. I made it to the center of the room, my eyes searching for Sam in the semidarkness. I heard footsteps behind me. I spun around to see Sam leering at me unarmed and cocky.

"I think you're gonna die, Dean." He sing songed, "That gun won't stop me."

"Don't be so sure of that, Sammy." I snapped flexing my finger against the trigger, "Where's Jake?"

"Oh he's safe and sound don't worry." He smirked raising his hand and throwing me against the far wall, my shot gun sliding to the opposite side of the crypt, "Still think you're not gonna die?"

"Oh I don't think so, Sam." I hissed getting to my feet taunting him, "Why don't you fight me like a man and stop hiding behind those skanky demon powers. Then again you always were a little bitch."

Sam stalked towards me his hands clenched and his bitch face firmly in place. He grabbed me by the shirt looming over me. "You made a mistake undemonizing Lexi. She was your best defense."

"Yeah?" I laughed elbowing Sam in the face, "Well guess what little brother I'm gonna do the same to you."

"I like to see you try Deano."

I stood over Sam where he lay sprawled on the floor, "You're a pathetic excuse for a demon, Sammy. Then again, you never could take me in a fight." I smirked down at him pulling my flask out of my pocket. I grabbed his mouth opening it and pouring the bluish black tonic down his throat. I stepped back as I began the chant, "Permissum suum vox haud diutius exsist! Reverto lemma iam! Ex unde they venit , Abolesco lacuna , Abolesco vox!"

"You can't exorcise me!" Sam choked looking up at me, "I'm not possessed!"

"It's not meant to exorcise you, short bus. It's to bind your powers."

"I'm sorry Dean I can't let you do that."

Sam glared at me sending me flying across the room, my head making contact with the wall with a sickening crunch. I blinked rapidly trying to regain my senses before Sam could do anymore damage. I stood up slowly pulling the colt out of the back of my jeans. I raised it to Sam's chest level cocking the gun, "If I can't save you, I'll kill you."

"You don't have the sac."

"Maybe I didn't a year ago but now?" I shrugged, "Things change Sammy."

"Don't call me SAMMY!" Sam snapped his eyes turning black. He flung the colt out of my hand into

his own while I found myself slammed against another wall.

"Dean!" Lexi screamed from the entryway as she held on to Jacob tightly.

Sam and I both turned in Lexi's direction as the crypt began to shake suddenly. The ceiling began to crack, chunks of concrete raining down on us. I dived out of the way, a huge chunk of the ceiling barely missing me. Sam was not so lucky. A pile of rubble had come loose from the ceiling landing firmly on top of him. Lexi stared in shock at the pile of debris that now covered Sam. I turned to her, my mouth open, "How did you do that, Lex? I bound your powers!"

"It wasn't me." She stammered looking down at Jake as his eyes turned from yellow back to their normal green, "Oh my God!"

"HE DID IT?"

Lexi nodded, "He saved you."

I looked at my son in shock. "We….oh shit. He just took out Sam."

I rushed over to where Lexi stood holding Jake in her arms. I hugged them tight resting my chin on her head. It was finally over, I had my family back and I felt myself relax for the first time in two months. I told myself that everything was going to be okay now that Sam was no longer a threat.

Lexi pulled away suddenly glancing over where Sam was, "Is he dead?"

"I dunno…"

I walked over to where he was kneeling down and feeling for a pulse. I didn't find one. I couldn't believe it. Sam was dead. I failed him. I was so sure the ritual was going to work. I didn't want it to end like this; no matter what Sam had done I really didn't want him dead. I stood up shaking my head slightly, "He's dead."

"Dean….."

"Don't Lex. It was him or me…"

"I hate to interrupt you two." Bobby stated from the entrance, "But we need to get outta here. Who knows when his demon buddies are gonna show themselves."

**Bobby's House**

**May 8, 2008**

I couldn't sleep. I haven't really slept in two days. I just couldn't believe what happened. I killed my baby brother. I kept going over in my mind what I could've done differently. It was no use, I couldn't change a damn thing. I just can't believe a year ago I wasted the Yellow Eyed Demon and found out I was gonna have a kid. It was one of the happiest days of my life and now a year later I've never felt lower. Sam was gone and it was all my fault.

"Dean?" Lexi whispered sitting next to me on Bobby's worn out front steps, "You okay?"

"Fine."

"Then what are you doing out here at 3 am?"

I waved the half empty bottle of whiskey under her nose to drive the answer home, "I'm drinking."

"I see that." She stated softly slipping her hand under my t-shirt and rubbing my back in small circles, "Talk to me. Don't shut me out Dean. Not after everything."

"I don't got anything to say. Go back to bed."

"You're not getting rid of me that easily. It's not your fault Dean so stop blaming yourself. You tried to save him."

"I should've tried harder!" I snapped before taking a deep swallow from the bottle of Jack I was holding, "My brother's dead, my little brother. My whole life I only had one job and that was to watch out for him, keep him safe and now he's gone. What are you gonna say to make that alright?"

"He wasn't Sammy anymore, he was gonna kill you."

"I should've saved him! I never should have let him go that night. I should have stopped him, made him stay."

"Don't do that." She whispered reaching to take the bottle of whiskey away from me, "Don't play the what if game."

"Yeah well I am and it's true. I kept him safe all that time because I always had him near me."

"He left because of me."

I turned to look at her sighing as I did. I didn't blame Lexi, this wasn't her fault. I was the one to blame. "This isn't about you. He took off because I was fucking up."

"Dean he left because you were so obsessed with coming back home to me. It was a mistake me coming back."

"You're not a mistake." I stood up, I had to get out of there. I just needed to be alone. I didn't want to be anywhere that Sam once was, "I'm going for a drive."

"No. You think I can sleep with you god knows where?"

"I'll be back just go to sleep. I just don't... I don't want to be around anyone right now."

"You don't wanna be around me you mean."

"I don't want to be around anyone right now. You want to help me? You wanna do something for me? Then go back inside and try and get some sleep. I'll be back in a bit."

"Don't go."

"Lex, go back inside." I stated softly nudging her towards the front door, "I swear I'll be back. Don't worry about me."

"No so you can wrap the car around a tree? I don't think so."

"I'm not going to wrap it around a fucking tree! I know how to drive."

"You're drunk."

"I'M NOT DRUNK!" I sighed. I knew she was right. I was too drunk to drive. I handed her the keys to the Impala hoping that would set her at ease. I was upset but I wasn't suicidal, "Just, gimmie awhile - I'll be in, in a bit."

"I'm just worried about you."

"I know just go inside Lex."

**An Hour Later**

I crept up the stairs to the bedroom Bobby was letting us stay in. I was trying to be quiet so I wouldn't wake anyone, especially Lexi. I knew she meant well, I just didn't feel like caring and sharing at the moment. I needed time to deal with this in my own way. I mean this was Sammy. He was the one constant thing in my entire life and now he's gone. I just don't know how to deal with that. How am I supposed to get over the fact that my baby brother was gone because of me?

"You better?" Lexi questioned rolling over to look at me as I got into bed next to her.

"A little."

"Look at me."

"I'm tired. I wanna sleep…..."

"Dean, stop it. Just listen to me. You can't blame Jacob, he SAVED you."

I closed my eyes not wanting to deal with this right now. I don't blame Jacob, well not really. Yes technically he took Sam out of the picture but it was my fault that I couldn't save Sammy. And Jake was just protecting me.

"Give me a fucking break. I don't blame my newborn kid for anything. My brother just died do you expect me to be ok with everything? You expect me to just fucking bounce back and be your happy little husband like nothing's happened? Give me some time to deal with this shit. I don't blame him, that's all you need to know."

"I'm sorry about what happened to Sam. Okay I am but you swore to me that you would always protect me and Jake and you did. You did the best you could, Dean."

"Let me deal with my own shit Lexi. I can handle myself I don't need you as a damn baby sitter." I stated my teeth clenched and eyes closed.

I could feel the tears burning behind my lids. I swore to myself that I wasn't going to shed another tear because what was the point? Me crying was not going to change what had happened. It wasn't going to bring Sam back. I heard Lexi say my name softly as she pulled me into her arms forcing me to lay my head against her chest and that's when I lost it. Everything that I had bottled up from the past two months, all the pain and frustration just poured out of me. I was a failure. There would be no deals to make this time. Sammy was really dead and he wasn't coming back this time. Lexi didn't say anything. She held me close to her, her hands moving up and down my back gently. I felt like I was three years old again in my mother's arms as she tried to comfort me. It was exactly what I needed from Lexi and she didn't judge me. She let me lay there with her neither one of us saying anything for the longest time.

**Present Day**

**Central Park, New York City**

We stayed at Bobby's for a week then it was time to move on, new state, new identities, a new start. I knew Lexi was right. I couldn't blame Jake he was just protecting me like I would protect him. It was just my whole life I protected Sammy. It was my job and I failed him. I tried. I tried so hard to save him but I couldn't. I followed my father's orders but it didn't make me feel any better. I'm tired of loosing my family. First my mom, then my dad and now Sammy. I never thought I'd be the last one standing. I have to keep going though. I have a family of my own now and I have to keep fighting the good fight. I'm not just fighting for Lexi and Jacob. I'm fighting for my mom, my dad and Sammy. I know that Sam would want me to keep going and to waste as many evil sonsofbitches as I possibly can. They've destroyed my family so many times now; I won't ever let that happen again as long as I'm still breathing.

**Henricksen's Winchester Case Files:**

_**Dean Michael Winchester** _

**DOB:** January 24, 1979

 **Place of Birth:** Lawrence, Kansas

 **Date of Death:** March 6, 2006

 **Place of Death:** St. Louis, Missouri

 **Physical Description:** Height 6'1", 175lbs, Brown hair, Green eyes

 **Distinctive markings or tattoos:** Ace of Spades and King of Hearts on right wrist, Snake wrapped around knife with banner that reads 'Death or Glory' on right foreman, Roman numerals on left forearm, Lexi on chest, Occult Symbol on chest, Phoenix on back, Betty Paige in blue bikini on left bicep.

 **Known Alias:** David Mills

 **Relevant Links:** Lexi Winchester-wife, Jacob Winchester-son, Samuel Winchester-brother, John Winchester-father(whereabouts unknown)

 **Wanted for:** Multiple counts of first-degree murder, kidnapping, armed robbery, breaking and entering, grave desecration, identity theft, credit card fraud, and mail fraud.

_**Lexi Elizabeth Brennan-Winchester** _

**DOB:** December 15, 1983

 **Place of Birth:** Lawrence, Kansas

 **Physical Description:** Height 5'5", 125lbs, Brown hair, Green eyes

 **Distinctive markings or tattoos:** Butterfly on lower back, Shooting stars on back of neck and Dean on right hip

 **Known Alias:** Tracy Mills

 **Relevant Links:** Dean Winchester-Husband, Jacob Winchester-son, Samuel Winchester-brother in law, Joseph and Marianne Brennan –adoptive parents

 **Wanted for:** aiding and abetting, obstruction of justice, credit card fraud, and identity theft. Previously arrested for: disturbing the peace and resisting arrest.

_**Samuel James Winchester** _

**DOB:** May 2, 1983

 **Place of Birth:** Lawrence, Kansas

 **Physical Description:** Height: 6'4", 180-190lbs, Brown hair, Hazel eyes

 **Distinctive markings or tattoos** : Occult Symbol on chest

 **Known Alias:** None

 **Relevant Links:** Dean Winchester-brother, John Winchester-father(whereabouts unknown), Lexi Winchester-sister in law

 **Wanted for:** grave desecration, mail fraud, credit card fraud, breaking and entering, armed robbery. Suspect in homicide investigation in Milwaukee.

_**Jacqueline Maria Vasquez** _

**DOB:** March 24, 1979

 **Place of Birth:** Los Angeles, California

 **Physical Description:** Height 5'9", 140lbs, Brown hair, Brown eyes

 **Distinctive markings or tattoos:** Many

 **Known Alias:** None

 **Relevant Links:** Dean and Lexi Winchester-former roommates, Samuel Winchester- relationship unknown

 **Wanted for:** aiding and abetting, obstruction of justice, assaulting an officer. Previously arrested for: disturbing the peace and resisting arrest.

 


End file.
